The best sex toys for beginners in 2023
If you're only starting to dip your toe into the fabulous world of self-pleasure and sexual wellness, get excited. There's a whole universe of the best sex toys for beginners to discover — from vibrators for women to dildos, sex gifts and clitoral vibrators — that you may not even know where to start.
Sex toys are for everyone, after all. The market is vast and covers kinks from A to Z, making it difficult to know whether things like rabbit vibrators or bullet vibrators are actually as straightforward as their names suggest. But that's why we're here! And, thankfully, there are plenty of beginner-friendly options for you to explore. Before we get into the fun, there's some groundwork to cover:
Why do people use sex toys?
The short answer? For all sorts of reasons. Some use them to reach orgasm during partnered sex and penetrative sex, while others use them to help practice masturbation (yes, practice!) — and maybe come to understand why they haven't been able to orgasm previously. Others use their first sex toy to elevate oral sex or foreplay.
Apart from certain sex toys offering practical help, the act of using sex toys can also be gender-affirming for queer and trans people. Most often, though, sex toys are primarily viewed as aids in body exploration and for spicing things up in the bedroom.
What are some features to look for in a beginner sex toy?
Before picking out a sex toy, clinical sexologist Sarah Melancon recommends that newbies consider what they enjoy during sex or masturbation without toys: clitoral stimulation? Penetration? “Try to find a toy that aligns with the interests you already have,” she says. “Start smaller and on the more inexpensive end where possible.”
You can also think about how many bells and whistles you're ready for at this point. Vibrators (whether simple, user-friendly ones or more advanced remote-control options) are popular choices. But in the realm of nonmotorized toys, a dildo or butt plug could be a great beginner option.
If you have a partner, include them in the conversation and consideration of sex toys for couples, since they can be a great addition to your shared sex life. “Using sex toys during partnered sex is a complement to your sexual energy together, not a competing variable,” says licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist Kate Balestrieri.
What are the different types of sex toys?
Once you know what you like and what you're in the market for, it's easier to decide exactly what beginner sex toy is right for you. In our guide to the best vibrators for beginners, we break down the different types of vibrators, which is primarily what you'll see in our list ahead.
As a cheat sheet: There are internal vibrators meant for penetration, like G-spot vibrators and P-spot vibrators (a common sex toy for men). External vibrators focus on the clitoris, vulva and other erogenous zones and include magic wand vibrators, rechargeable bullet vibes, and clit suckers. High-quality rabbit vibrators can stimulate internally and externally. Finally, vibrating cock rings (sometimes called penis vibrators) are also in the mix.
How do you care for sex toys?
Keep in mind that you'll want a great lube on hand (not just as a beginner but also if you experience vaginal or menopausal dryness). We get into it in our roundup of the best lubricants for women, and cover options from water-based lubes and oil-based lubes to natural lubes. You'll also want to make sure your toys stay clean. After all, you want the O’s to keep going and going, right?
Our parting word of advice is to keep an open mind. Different people will respond differently to toys, so rather than go in with expectations, be open to seeing how your own body reacts to a new product. “Remember, sex is a form of play, so it’s important to be present for yourself without judgment or shame,” says Balestieri. “Focus on curiosity and exploration.” Now you're ready—ahead, shop our experts' picks for the best sex toys for beginners.
In a rush? The best sex toys for beginners at a glance:
- Best Overall Sex Toy for Beginners: Maude Vibe, £39
- Best Vibrator for Clitoral Stimulation: Lelo Sona 2 Cruise, £103
- Best Beginner Sex Toy for Couples: Lovense Nora, £102
- Best Dildo for Beginners: Lovehoney Ribbed G-Spot Glass Dildo, £26.99
- Best Anal Toy for Beginners: B-Vibe Anal Training + Education Kit, £99.99
Ahead, trending sex toys for beginners to add to your checkout ahead of Valentine’s Day.
This simple silicone vibrator is smooth, easy to use, and shaped like a lovely teardrop. “The Maude vibe is good for first-time buyers because it's simple, small, very pretty (love that it's earthy neutral tones), relatively quiet, and cost-efficient,” says Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, sex professor at California State University, Fullerton, and TikTok sex expert. It's got three vibration speeds and is best for external stimulation.
Pros: Body-safe silicone; simple navigation; “flutter tip” for focused stimulation; gender-neutral
Cons: Not suitable for internal stimulation; not waterproof
If you're looking for fast and easy orgasms, this toy is a must-have. The head of the Sona 2 Cruise literally sucks on the clitoris, with 12 different patterns available. “The Sona 2 Cruise gives the user deep clitoral stimulation,” says Balestrieri. “Meant to be placed over the clit, the sonic pulses create an engulfing sensation.”
Pros: Powerful suction technology; 12 patterns
Cons: Loud; may be too strong for some; cost can be prohibitive
If you and your partner are in two different places, they can please you from a distance through this remote-controlled vibrator's function. Not only that, but you can connect it to another Nora or Lovense's male toy, Max, so that your toys will respond to each other. “The Lovense Nora is an excellent rabbit-style vibrator with a flexible tip that allows you to bend it toward your clitoris,” says Melancon. “If you’ve been frustrated by rabbit toys not allowing you to reach both parts at once, the bendable tip helps to ensure both your G-spot and clit are having a good time.”
Pros: App-controlled; stimulates both G-spot and clitoris; can be paired with additional toys
Cons: Loud; connection can get shoddy
You can pick this up at the drugstore to add some extra spice to your usual routine. “This vibrating ring is great to slide over a penis or dildo for clitoral or perineal stimulation during vaginal or anal penetration, depending on the direction of the vibrating element,” says Balestrieri. “For cishet couples, this is a great way to close the orgasm gap!” The battery doesn't last long and neither will the toy itself, but it could be a good place to start if you're looking to figure out if a cock ring is for you.
Pros: Cheap; works with condoms
Cons: Lasts only 20 minutes; battery not replaceable
“Glass may be heated or cooled for temperature play and is safe with any type of lube,” says Melancon. Not only that, but many enjoy the “silky smooth” sensation of glass, she adds. This dildo in particular has two ends—on that's ribbed and one with a bulb on the end—so you can experiment with different textures. This toy is suitable for both anal use and G-spot stimulation.
Pros: Two ends; great for temperature play
Cons: Limited in length; can be hard to grip
“This toy is held between the fingers, essentially adding an extra digit to your hand game,” says Melancon. “Solo, the toy can also rest between the labia and on the clitoris for hands-free pleasure.” Finger vibrators like this are also great for partnered sex: You or your partner can use it to provide clitoral stimulation during intercourse, or they can finger you with it around their finger.
Pros: Easy to grip; four vibration speeds; quiet
Cons: Limited power; may break easily
The NJoy Pure Wand is famous for its ability to help users learn how to squirt and is an all-around great dildo due to its two curved, bulbous ends and heavy stainless steel body. “This is a weighty toy, which allows you to play with internal pressure on the G-spot and cervix,” says Melancon. “Plus, the smaller side can even be used for internal massage. Bonus points for sharing this toy with a male partner (wash between uses!)—it's great for prostate play too.”
Pros: Two differently sized ends; curvature ideal for squirting
Cons: Heavy; uncomfortable for some
This toy doubles as a necklace, so anyone who finds it probably won't even know what it is, but if you want to wear it out and proudly show it off, it'll make a sex-positive statement. “Crave Vesper has a very quiet and unassuming vibrator,” says Suwinyattichaiporn. “If you live with your others and want a toy that doesn't look like a sex toy, this is a good option.”
Pros: Stylish, powerful
Cons: Small; hard material
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If you're new to butt plugs, this kit provides everything you need to start off: three differently sized plugs including a vibrating one and a weighted one (so you can start small and work up to something bigger), a guide to anal play, a lube applicator, and an anal enema. “For first-time buyers of anything anal, this kit is everything,” says Balestrieri. “It comes with a educational guide that breaks down stigmas and myths about anal play and helps you feel safe and prepared with lots of tips.”
Pros: All-inclusive; variety of plugs
Cons: Larger plugs may be too much for beginners
