No, you shouldn't just know how to choose a sex toy. In fact, some sex educators, wellness writers and the like would insist there's a science to it. A science worth following, considering there’s now a vibrator for every need, nook, and kind of pleasure to opt between.
Really, Goldilocks had it easy with her three chairs, three beds, and three bowls of porridge. Because we struggle to pick a main at a restaurant without seeing the menu first, and now we’re faced with endless aisles (both physical and virtual) of buzzing, pulsing options, including bullet vibrators, clit suckers and insertable G-spot vibrators.
A quick reminder that masturbation (and therefore a search for the right tool) is worth prioritising. That's because it comes with a host of benefits — think an improved mood, reduced stress, and even better sleep.
But, to save you from choice paralysis, we’ve roped in the pros to help you whittle it all down. Cue our step-by-step guide to finding a toy that feels ‘just right’, whether you’re shopping for solo play, couple’s fun, or a bit of both.
A step-by-step guide to getting your buzz on.
What are the different types of sex toys?
If you don't know your clit vibrator from a suction stimulator, we've covered the basics below:
| Bullet Vibrators | Small, discreet, and perfect for pinpoint pleasure. |
| Clit Vibrators | Designed for external stimulation of the clitoris with varying intensities and patterns. |
| Clit Suckers | Use air pressure to mimic the sensation of oral sex. |
| G-Spot Vibrators | Curved to target the G-spot for deeper internal stimulation. |
| Wand Vibrators | Powerful, often larger vibrators ideal for broad external stimulation or full-body massage. |
| P-spot Vibrators | Designed to target the prostate for deep, mind-blowing pleasure. |
| Love egg Vibrators | Remote-controlled or app-connected for discreet, on-the-go play. |
| Rabbit Vibrators | Dual-action toys that stimulate both the clitoris and G-spot simultaneously. |
| Anal Vibrators | Designed for safe, pleasurable backdoor stimulation. |
| Finger Vibrators | Slip onto your finger for more control during solo or partnered play. |
| Remote-Controlled Vibrators | For long-distance or partner play — great for teasing anywhere. |
| Couples Vibrators | Worn during penetrative sex to add extra stimulation for both partners. |
How to choose a sex toy that's right for you:
Yes, pre-shop preparation is essential. So, here are the steps recommended by leading sex educators, whether you plan on flying solo or playing together:
1. Know your purpose
Is this about levelling up your solo pleasure, exploring with a partner, spicing things up in the bedroom, or simply getting to know your body a little better? Defining your ‘why’ will help you cut through the endless scroll of options.
What actually is the difference and why does it matter?
2. Set your pleasure goals
Where do you actually like to be touched? Oral, fingertip teasing, deep penetration, nipple play — everyone’s blueprint is different. If you’re a fan of light teasing, sex educator at Sh!, Renée Denyer recommends a soft, flexible toy, such as the ILY Pebble. But if firm pressure or deep penetration tends to close the O gap for you, look for something with more power, like the Doxy Wand.
3. Quality over chaos
Your genitals deserve the good stuff — think body-safe silicone that won’t irritate and will actually last. That said, your first sex toy doesn’t have to cost the earth. Think of it as a test drive before you invest in a long-term love affair.
4. Multitask like a pro
Not sure what you’re into? Opt for a sex toy that multitasks. Yes, it’s an investment, but you’re more likely to love at least one of its settings, and it keeps things interesting for longer. The Tennis Pro allows you to stimulate the clitoral glans, massage the vulva, tease the entrance to the vagina, and get to the elusive G-spot via penetration.
5. Size matters
As Denyer wisely puts it: “Your first toy should not feel like a dare.” Consider width in terms of fingers— one finger, two fingers, and so on — and start where it feels good. Length? Far less important, because you can control the depth.
6. Accessorise like you mean it
Don’t skip the extras. Water-based lube and a good sex toy cleaner are the unsung heroes of great solo and partnered sex. But lube isn’t just for penetrative play — it can seriously elevate self-pleasure too. “A good water-based lubricant works with all toy materials, while silicone lube lasts longer for anal or non-silicone toys,” says Lovehoney's sex and relationships expert, Annabelle Knight.
7. The golden rule of anal
Any anal sex toy must have a base. No exceptions, bestie. “A flared base or handle is essential to prevent accidents, and your butt deserves safety,” says Denyer. The Luxe Vibe is a prime example of a unisex butt plug that gets this right.
A step-by-step guide to satisfaction.
How to choose a sex toy as a couple:
Shopping as a duo? Treat it like a no-shame zone. You’ll have different curiosities, so acknowledge them without shutting each other down. Sex therapist and educator at Sextoys.co.uk, Natsaha Silverman, suggests having your sex toy, their toy, and a shared couples sex toy, so everyone’s needs are met.
A partner suggesting toys isn’t a sign that something’s ‘missing’. “Sex toys are just another way of exploring pleasure,” explains Silverman. They also don’t need to be called on every session; feel free to use them sporadically.
“When buying a toy together, communication is everything,” says Knight. “Talk about what turns you on, share product links or videos, and gauge each other’s comfort zones.” For first-timers, Knight recommends a remote-control vibrator for public play, or a couple’s sex toy you can wear during sex.
With five orgasmic options for 2025.
| Annabelle Knight | Lovehoney's sex and relationships expert. |
| Renée Denyer | Sex educator at Sh! |
| Natsaha Silverman | Sex therapist and educator at Sextoys.co.uk. |
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