You always think you know exactly what to wear to a rehearsal dinner as a guest, but once the invite arrives, why does it suddenly feel like an overwhelming process?
Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is when the betrothed couple’s closest friends and family gather for pre-ceremony festivities the night before the wedding. Unlike the wedding ceremony and reception, which often carry a dress code – black-tie, cocktail, garden party, etc. – the rehearsal dinner is less regimented. Sometimes it’s not even a dinner! You know it’s a slightly less formal event than the big day, but still, the guidelines on how to dress are often blurry at best.
Plus, there’s an unspoken stressor here, too. “You’re probably meeting some of the guests for the first time,” says bridal stylist and creative brand consultant Anny Choi. In other words, you want to look and feel your best without being so disruptive that it pulls focus from the happy couple. However, Choi says, it’s also a chance for wedding guests to show a little personality. “I actually think that it’s a good opportunity to make a statement, especially if the wedding itself calls for a more restrictive dress code.”
The good news? These pre-wedding events usually aren’t as highly photographed as the actual wedding itself, so that should take some of the pressure off. Plus, if you’re invited to the rehearsal dinner, odds are high you’re in the wedding party and have an assigned ensemble (read “pastel bridesmaid dress”) for the big day. In other words, this could be your best chance to have fun with your look.
“Often, you’re seeing your old school or uni friends, or people you might not see all the time,” Choi says. “So why not use that as an excuse to dress up?”
Okay, so you’re ready to have fun with your look. Now what? From there, you consider the season, venue, location, and even the vibe of the bride(s) and/or groom(s). But in general, embrace the grey area. Below, Choi shares more of her tips for choosing what to wear to a rehearsal dinner.
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What should I keep in mind when planning a rehearsal dinner outfit as a guest?
If you’re not sure what to wear to a rehearsal dinner, here are some things to consider:
- Dress codes, if any
- Venue
- Terrain
- Season
- Location
- Tastes of the couple
What if there’s a wedding theme?
If there is a dress code or suggested theme for any pre-wedding events, it is good etiquette to follow the requests of the couple.
“A lot of couples are throwing very specific themed pre-wedding events,” says Choi. “Maybe it’s an all-white party. I’m working with a couple where they are encouraging guests to wear shades of sunset to their welcome event.”
Choi encourages everyone to see this as an opportunity to be creative - sometimes creativity thrives within parameters.
How different should a rehearsal dinner outfit be from the wedding day look?
In general, pre-wedding events are less dressy than the wedding, unless noted otherwise in the invitation. So yes, you can leave the tuxedo in the hotel room, but that doesn’t mean you should show up in a T-shirt and shorts or other overly casual attire. Rehearsal dinner dress code is still more formal than your average Tuesday.
“You’re attending two very different events,” Choi says. “I advise doing something different from what you might be wearing to the ceremony so that you get the variation.” Some examples? Go with a shorter hemline for the pre-wedding event by wearing a mini cocktail dress, or extend the silhouette with a long sleeve. If your reception dress is more formal or muted in colour, a relaxed sundress or a bright pop of colour the night before might be appropriate.
When in doubt, go for ’90s silhouettes.
“I’m seeing a lot of simple, minimal ’90s silhouettes, especially in bold colours, going into this wedding season,” says Choi. “It immediately makes me think of Gwyneth Paltrow’s pink Ralph Lauren Oscars dress. I think a shape like that feels so timeless and effortless, but it’s comfortable. You feel and look good in it.”
So when in doubt, a simple sleeveless slip dress with a column silhouette will never fail when it comes to cocktail attire, especially in a bright hue or a classic neutral. Add a blazer or a button-front shirt for colder months (or chilly air conditioning).
Treat the location like a theme.
Read into what you can based on the welcome event’s location or venue. “A floral dress for rehearsal events lends really well to a garden party,” says Choi. “And there’s so much you can play around with for a city setting, the countryside or even a beachy seaside event.”
Scope out the venue online and imagine what would photograph best in that setting. A cocktail dress in a bright red hue works for drinks on a rooftop bar, for example, while a relaxed, gauzy maxi dress would be more appropriate at a destination wedding.
READ MORE: The best beach wedding guest dresses.
Fresh accessories can create a whole new look.
Avoid the one-and-done dress, Choi cautions. Don’t waste money splurging on something for a wedding rehearsal dinner that’ll only end up at the back of your closet, never to be seen again after the main event. Especially if you’re attending more than one event this season, as it's not the most cost-effective solution. “If it’s something you can wear again, different accessories make it work for different occasions,” Choi says. “You can bring your own twist to it each time.”
Some outfit ideas: A statement necklace or earrings, whether it’s silver Art Deco or a bright piece of coral, adds pizzazz to a simple silhouette. Straw accessories can tone down a dressier look at a summer wedding, and the Loewe basket bag is a cult classic. Even just swapping your usual flats or loafers for metallic heels can elevate your favourite work dress.
Consider sharp separates you can wear again.
“Looking back, I’ve personally opted for a lot of separates instead of a dress when it comes to rehearsal or welcome events,” Chois says. “I don’t love a one-hit-wonder dress that I buy for one specific occasion, because I have photos in it, so I don’t want to wear it. I’m leaning more towards separates I can style in different ways for different occasions, whether it’s a rehearsal dinner or a personal event that I’m going to.”
When styled right, a skirt set or smart trousers and a shirt, blouse or blazer can be just as elegant as a flowy dress, though they’re totally different vibes. (A jumpsuit works too!) Choi purchased a made-to-order green-and-white floral crop top and skirt set from One/Of, for example. Last summer, she wore the skirt with a top to a rehearsal dinner. Recently, she wore the same skirt dressed down with a knit top for a night out with friends. It's versatile, and you are guaranteed your cost per wear.
Plan around your shoes.
“Always make sure you have appropriate shoes on,” Choi says. Nothing’s more miserable than foot pain before the dancing has even begun. “If you’re going to be on grass, sand, or cobblestones at any point, you probably want to stay away from skinny stilettos and opt for block heels or wedges instead.”
Consider starting with your shoe first and going from there with your rehearsal dinner attire. Luckily, wedges and espadrilles are currently in style, while block-heel sandals pair well with spring and summer silhouettes as they are a comfortable heels option.
Always keep a print under 50% white.
Some etiquette experts will tell you not to wear white at all for any of the wedding events, but Choi says there is room to play. “I personally think a bit of white is okay,” says Choi. “If we’re getting picky, a 50-50 print is okay.”
What does that mean? Don’t wear a white dress, obviously, but a floral print with a white base is likely fine in a guest outfit as long as the colour takes up roughly 50%, or more, of the fabric’s surface area. Choi also recommends steering clear of a light or eggshell yellow – even the butter yellow that has been trending this summer -as they tend to read white, especially in spaces with bright natural light. “If you’re questioning it, then I would ask the bride.”
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Pack a floral midi-dress as back-up.
Classics, even if they’re a bit cliché, are classic for a reason. “Especially leading up to spring weddings, a lot of people tend to just opt for a bright, floral dress for welcome events,” Choi says of this foolproof solution for wedding guest dresses.
It’s so reliable, in fact, it’s not a bad idea to pack it in the suitcase just in case you have a spill, change your mind at the last minute, or simply want options. Almost anything with a botanical or floral print will likely work for a rehearsal dinner, especially if it has a draped neckline, ruffles, or other playful details. A midi silhouette is best to show off that new pair of strappy sandals.
Shop your own closet.
A more casual rehearsal dinner “is a good opportunity to rewear something that you might have worn to another event or another wedding in the past,” says Choi. Wedding season means these evenings are in abundance, so it’s silly to purchase something new for every event of every wedding weekend. So don’t feel guilty about pulling something from your own closet, even if you’re in the bridal party.
Take that dress from the bridal shower, or that family member’s graduation, a Christening you attended last month, and make it feel fresh with new accessories. Simply by changing your hair and make-up can make a huge difference to a look.
