“I was consuming so much relentless bad news, it was like a fog came over me – almost like a hangover,” says Amy Aniobi. “Back in 2020, we were all stuck at home and only communicating with the world through our phones. News stories were hitting our feeds at such rapid pace – the pandemic, George Floyd, the climate crisis – that it felt like we were underwater, drowning in guilt and grief.”
Fast forward to now, and unfortunately, it doesn't feel like much has changed. Inequality is rife, our faith in the political system has been demolished, carbon dioxide emissions are growing, and the energy crisis is so severe it poses a humanitarian risk. An evening spent doomscrolling can leave us feeling glum at best; riddled with anxiety at worst.
That's why Amy – a writer, producer and director known for her work on hit HBO series Insecure – started a podcast with her colleague and friend Grace Edwards, called The Antidote; quite literally, to provide an antidote to the madness in the news. Each week, the show shares advice and activities that elicit feelings of joy in its listeners, and Amy and Grace share the mental health strategies they use to cope with the trying times we're all surviving.
“We wanted to make a podcast that was accessible to anyone,” Amy says, “and to create something that brings listeners joy in such harsh times.”
Here, Amy shares her top 10 coping mechanisms – from small acts of self-care to more pertinent commitments to your mental health – to help you weather the storm and feel a little bit more like yourself amid these bleak and scary and uncertain times…
We're feeling inspired.
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Arranging flowers
It may sound like a small thing, but arranging flowers is something that I do fully for myself. On Friday evenings, when my work day is done and before I go out and see friends, I turn on a good soundtrack – Beyonce's Renaissance at the moment, naturally – snip the stems, arrange them in vases and position them around my house. I needed a hobby that wasn't work-related, wasn't on social media, and it brings beauty into my home. It's something I do just for me – and we all need a bit more of that.
Taking long walks in open spaces
I've never been much of a hiker, but during the pandemic, I realised just how much walking could lift my spirits – even if it's just a quick stroll on my lunch break. I often just go around my neighbourhood walking the streets and getting out into nature, listening to music, a podcast or an audio book – or sometimes, I just live with my thoughts. It's fresh air, it's exercise, and it's a great mood-boosting break from your screens.
Having friendship "non-negotiables"
This is a phrase I learned from Tefi [Pessoa], AKA @hellotefi, when she was our guest on The Antidote. She explained that she has BFFs, but she also has ‘non-negotiables’. They're the friends who have to hear about everything going on in your life; they're the ones who know you the best. They always show up for you, and you always show up for them. They're the people that call – and no matter what time it is, no matter how busy you are – you pick up. They're the people who ask: ‘Do you want to hang out this Friday?’, and I'm going to find a way.
Working in television, you collect a lot of different groups of friends and communities, and I love them all. But I have a very short list of non-negotiables. Having those kind of sacred friendships that you get tap into, because you know you can be your truest self with them, is a lifeline. My non-negotiables and I tell each other we love each other all the time, because it's important to hear, especially as a person of colour walking through a world that is constantly framed against you. I need my Black and POC friends to know that there's love them for them in this life.
Setting social media time limits
Taking ‘phone care’ seriously is essential to counteract the negative effects of doomscrolling. To set limits on your social media apps, head to your iPhone's settings, turn on ‘screen time’, then add ‘add limits’ for whichever apps you want to limit. I limit Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok, and it's really helped me disconnect from the negativity each day.
What is DBT and how can it help?
Sticking to a morning coffee ritual
Often in the mornings, we're rushing around and doing 1000 things at once, without even realising it. Making breakfast, getting dressed, checking our emails, reading the news, feeling anxious about that upcoming meeting – and it's not the best way to set yourself up for the day. So, I made a morning coffee ritual which is, quite simply, me putting my phone down and drinking a cup of coffee. Just like arranging flowers, it's a moment of pure me time before I'm back in the throws of the day. Even if it's just 5 or 10 minutes, it helps to ground you before you go out into the busy, stressful world.
Making morning affirmations
Speaking of mornings, morning affirmations have become a huge part of my life and transformed how I feel about myself. During the pandemic, I was spiralling and feeling very uncertain about my future. So, I started talking to a career coach, and she suggested doing morning affirmations – thanking the universe for things that you want as if they've already happened. I started doing it, and it felt so weird at first, but now I do it every single morning. For example, I might say, ‘My goal is to protect my energy’ – so I'm remembering that if something upsets me, I don't need to show I'm upset, or if something taxes me, I'm going to lean back. Try it, it may surprise you.
Supporting others
Connecting with other creative women is one of the things that brings me the most joy. I've always believed in the fact that when one of us rises, we all rise. Success is not a pie; there's enough to go around, and if someone else gets it, that doesn't mean there's no more pie left for you.
Over the last couple of years, I had a lot of creatives – primarily women of colour – reaching out to me, and saying: ‘How do I connect with other people?,’ ‘Is my art even worthwhile in these wild times?’. I realised I needed to build spaces for them to connect with each other, so that that we all could feel a sense of community.
That's why I founded Tribe; a year-long writers’ mentorship program and an ongoing career network for intermediate writers that focuses on bridging the gap between writing independently and writing as a career. Tribe’s first season recently concluded and three of the mentees are creating short films out of the scripts they generated. There's nothing more uplifting than working with like-minded people, whether you connect via mentorship schemes, Facebook groups or locally in your neighbourhood.
Doing regular beauty and wellness treatments
Skincare, facials, massages, pilates, mani-pedis – I know it may sound superficial, but one of our guests on The Antidote recently, ALOK, said that our patriarchal society has taught us that self-care is a luxury. But why is it the things that keep women feeling well are considered ‘luxuries’? Men aren't labelled ‘vain’ or ‘superficial’ for getting a haircut or going to the gym, so why are we? I care about me, I want to look beautiful, and I want to look after my health because I want to be here for a long time. That, to me, is self-care. And don't ever feel like you're doing too much self-care. The world is too terrible, there's no such thing as ‘too much self-care’!
Celebrating
Almost all of my tips here have been about looking inward and finding that inner peace. But I also think that going outward and celebrating, shouting about your success and saying, ‘Hey world, I’m a bad bitch!’ – I think that's important, too. Recently for my birthday, I posted some of my accomplishments on social media. Some people may consider this bragging, but for me, it's about celebrating the hard work I've put in. As women, we're not taught to shout about our achievements or take up space. So let's make sure we keep doing exactly that.
Therapy, therapy, therapy
I could talk about the creative importance of regular therapy all day. I often hear people saying, ‘I don’t need therapy’, but it's not about need, it's about benefit – and we all stand to benefit from being able to check in with an objective source. I like to use the analogy of going to the gym: we should all exercise and we all benefit from it. But every now and again, it would be good to have a session with a personal trainer who can correct you on our form, make sure you're getting the most out of the exercise, and not potentially injuring yourself. A therapist is a physical trainer for your mind for your soul. They give you the tools to process what you're going through.
Listen to ‘The Antidote’ hosted by Amy Aniobi and Grace Edwards via Apple Podcasts.
