It's a challenge bigger than any daytime quiz show, and that's to simply try and spend less time on your phone. You'll chat to your colleagues about their screen time just to make yourself feel a little bit better about your 8-hour TikTok binge. Charging your phone in another part of your bedroom may help cut it down initially, but you'll soon be back to old habits. We get it. Plus new research now suggests that each additional hour of screen time in bed was linked to a 63% increase in insomnia risk, and 24 minutes less sleep. As we all start to step back and understand how exactly our phone usage is impacting our lives, let me tell you my journey on how I actually did it; even after 2 years.
It all started when I came home one night after drinking one too many martinis. I sat on my bed for a final Instagram doomscroll of the day, and up pops my ex on a night out with one of my best mates.
Now, it shouldn’t have been a problem as the breakup (over five years ago) was mature with no animosity, but it was a problem and I was unsure as to why. Before I had time to process my emotions, I decided to quickly delete Instagram and that was the moment I realised I needed to change my habits. From that day on I made it my mission to change my relationship with my phone.
After chatting to numerous friends about how I’d had enough of my phone and social media, my colleague gave me a book titled ‘How to Break Up With Your Phone: The 30-Day Plan to Take Back Your Life’ by Catherine Price.
According to Catherine's book, studies have shown that spending extended time on our phones affects our ability to form new memories, think deeply, focus and absorb information, and the hormones triggered every time we hear our phones buzz both add to our stress levels and are the hallmark signs of addiction. Scary stuff.
The book gave a 30-day plan to break up with your phone that admittedly I followed loosely towards the end. The action points ranged from asking yourself questions on what makes you truly happy, to planning a weekend where you’d have a whole 24 hours without any tech whatsoever. The latter I’m yet to do, but I think it’s a freedom that a lot of us could do with, and actually need, every now and again.
It’s been about 2 years and 4 months since I followed the plan, and I still pop on to social media every few days, but once you get past the FOMO, the possibility of feeling lonely and the need to know if Tiffany is having a gorgeous time in the Canaries or not, it does get easier. Sure, there will be times where you’re on it a lot more than you’d like (holiday's around the pool are an exception), but nothing is linear. If you're looking to break up with your phone (either totally or just moderate your use), here are the top tips I swore by during my journey.
- Change your smartphone background to black, and only customise your Lock Screen for things like the weather and an alarm clock. The aim is to make your phone a tool and the least desirable thing to pick up.
- Turn your screen Black and White intermittently. Some phones allow you to set a shortcut for this to make it quick and easy.
- Put ALL your apps into folders. Hopefully you’ll forget where they all are and you’ll go on with intent because you’ll have to actually look up the app you want to go to rather than just mind-numbingly scrolling through which app to go to next.
- Turn off most (if not ALL) of your notifications. Especially social media apps, the news and email. You’ll find yourself checking in on the ones that really matter anyway. One less stress.
- Purposely be bored, which in turn will give you a chance to think things through in your head. You'll be surprised how many things you'll process.
- Resist looking at your phone during dinner with friends - unless you’re showing something related to what you’re actually talking about, you’ll be more focused and be able to catch up without any distractions. Messages CAN wait.
- Just switch it off - you can always turn it back on later. Sounds simple but when you do turn your phone off, you’ll realise how many times you actually reach for it. You’ll also be clock watching a lot less!
- Do you really need to take another photo that you'll never look at ever again? If you do, see if any of your friends are taking any. You can always have one of theirs later on.
- Get an actual old school alarm clock and charge or leave your phone in another part of a room before bed.
- All in all, ignorance is bliss, and sometimes it really is better to not know what’s going on in the world. Especially with your ex.
If this year is making you feel more overwhelmed than ever, you’re not alone. With the increased use of social media, and platforms fighting to get our attention, it is easy to feel inundated with information. A year full of traumatic events has further fuelled this feeling and, heading into the sunnier months, it’s the perfect opportunity to take a break from all things digital.
In the UK, people spend an average of 45 minutes on TikTok, 45 minutes on YouTube and 30 minutes on Instagram a day. That’s a lot of time spent watching other people’s lives. Not only does this impact adults, but teens who are growing up using social media, are now locking themselves away for hours on their phones, causing severe addiction and a deterioration of their mental health. You may have seen this reflected in Kate Winslet’s recent film I Am Ruth, a heartbreaking story of a mother and daughter struggling to see eye to eye on the damages of phone addiction.
As we’re winding down for Christmas for some much needed quality time with loved ones, we sat down with the founders of luna, the UK’s only app for teen mental health & well-being, to share their tips so we can benefit from a little digital detox heading into the new year.
Turn your notifications off: There’s nothing more distracting than being bombarded with a loud ‘ding’ in the middle of a good conversation. Turn off your notifications and enjoy the silent satisfaction of being in the moment.
Plan different activities with your loved ones that don’t involve using your mobiles: we’re all guilty of it! Go back to basics and plan a walk, suggest a board game or something silly like charades. Reconnect with those around you and you’ll find you’re having more fun than you would watching other people enjoying themselves online. If you find that everyone is on their phones, why not suggest ‘phone free areas’ or put a box in the kitchen and ask everyone to put their phones away for a duration of time Also suggest rules such as no phones at dinner, or during a movie. It’s been scientifically proven that multitasking decreases your ability to concentrate so put that phone away and fully commit to whichever activity you’re doing. Those dancing dog videos can wait!
Resist the urge to document everything: We’ve all become used to posting what we’re up to every moment of the day, but instead of taking photos of what you’re up to, try to be more present in the moment. Store them as memories instead of photos for your feed. If you do want to take a photo, just save them in an album on your phone and enjoy later on. There’s no rush!
Social media can often be triggering and be a mirror for your insecurities: Over the festive season, try not to compare yourself too much to anybody online. If you find yourself feeling frustrated and left empty after scrolling through social media, unfollow or mute anyone who isn’t bringing you positivity. Remember, on social media, people often only show themselves at "their best" and often try to make us think they have "a perfect life". No one is that perfect in reality.
Set a time limit on certain apps that won’t benefit you: Are you constantly refreshing your emails even though your OOO is on? Going down a TikTok rabbit hole? Viewing your own Instagram story to make sure it’s still funny? As much as #freebritney conspiracy theories and dance challenges are captivating, you’ll find that there’s a lot more you can do to enjoy your spare time. It’s super easy to set time limits on your apps. For example, only allow yourself to access them from 8-9 am and 9-10 pm - if you try to open them outside of these hours, your phone will remind you that the apps are on a time limit. More often than not, you’ll realise you don’t end up opening them at all.
Alter your response to being ‘bored’: If you have a moment spare, instead of opening up your phone, train yourself to respond by doing something that will bring you joy. Read a chapter of a book you loved growing up, have a bath, go outside and get some fresh air, treat yourself to an indulgent drink. The way you physically respond to being bored will affect the way your mind responds too.
Cleanse your phone: We’re not suggesting you light up some sage and start chanting! Go through your apps and delete any you don’t use anymore or bring you stress. You can always remove them from your home screen and reinstall them in 2023.
