This article references domestic abuse.
Look, there are a million reasons why I love Sarah Hyland – almost too many to list. But I'll give it a good go. She uncovers depth and charisma in all her characters; her empathetic hosting skills are easily the best part of Love Island USA; and every day, TikTok serves me a new angle of her performing ‘Downtown’ acapella on the streets of New York – what can I say? My algorithm knows me too well. But the most powerful driving force behind my love for Sarah Hyland is her unapologetic advocacy for survivors of domestic abuse.
The Modern Family star has been honoured at Variety's upcoming Power of Women gala in Los Angeles with the Courage Award, presented by Purina. Yes, the award is sponsored by a pet food company – and with good reason.
Hyland is being recognised for her “outspoken advocacy for survivors of relationship abuse”, as part of Purina’s Purple Leash Program, which helps women's refuges become more pet-friendly so women fleeing domestic abuse don't have to leave their beloved animals behind.
“It takes courage to wake up every morning and face the world knowing that people may have no idea what you are going through,” said Sarah in her acceptance speech. “It’s all too easy to feel isolated and misunderstood, no matter how strong you are.”
"I’m so honoured,” says Sarah. “A lot of shelters are not allowing pets and to figure out the logistics of how to get out [of the relationship] and do that, especially with animals, is so important.”
Sarah highlights that while pets can often be used as a manipulation tactic in abusive relationships, they also offer invaluable emotional support to survivors when they're able to leave.
“A lot of people who have been in an abusive relationship have had pets,” she tells Variety. “I wouldn’t have been able to get through a lot of times without my dog. But then, at the same time … animals can be used as a manipulation and used as a tactic as well. Their lives are then, therefore, put on the line [to] try to hurt someone through an animal.”
In 2014, Sarah obtained a permanent restraining order against her then-boyfriend of four years and Geek Charming co-star Matt Prokop. The court order, which prohibits Prokop from contacting or going within 100 yards of Sarah and her home, also extended to her dog, Barkley Bixley.
Prokop has not publicly commented on the restraining order.
As part of her ongoing advocacy, Sarah is calling to end the silence on domestic abuse. “For thousands of years now, we didn’t talk about it," she tells Variety.
“The community hasn’t shared enough, I believe. And I feel that if we talk about it more, more women — and men and just human beings in general in abusive relationships — will feel more comfortable to be able to talk about it with their loved ones instead of letting their abuser isolate them from everyone, which is the first thing that they do, so that you don’t have that community. So we have to keep talking about it. It’s really important to be able to help those in need.”
She highlights that the ramifications of domestic abuse continue long after the violence has stopped. She says that post-traumatic stress disorder from abuse can stay “in that abused place of your soul, where you think it’s your fault the whole time and you could have done better, you could have gotten out sooner, you could have told people.”
Sarah continues, “It’s almost like you don’t wanna talk about it anymore. You want it to be done, and that’s that. I completely understand the dissociation pattern of it. I am very much guilty about it myself… until something happens where I’m triggered, and I didn’t realise that part of myself had been healed. I don’t know if that part [of] any woman will ever be fully healed from that. It’s something that kind of scars her soul a little bit. It’s more so putting love towards that scar instead of hating it and ignoring it.”
Sarah credits her Modern Family co-star Julie Bowen, who played her mum in the TV series, for helping her leave a toxic relationship. And it just so happened that Julie was at the ceremony to present Sarah with her award.
"Without adversity, there can be no way to define one’s character and sense of self,” Julie told Variety. “Sarah’s path has forced her, from a very early age, to take on challenges — both physical and emotional. She has met each moment with determination, grace, and vulnerability. I’m so proud that Variety is recognising her strength and heart with the Courage Award.”
I think we can all agree, the world needs more women like Sarah.
For more information about emotional abuse and domestic abuse, you can call The Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247.
Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247, available 24 hours a day 7 days a week for free, confidential specialist support. Or visit www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk to fill in a webform and request a safe time to be contacted or to access live chat (live chat available 3pm-10pm, Monday to Friday). For support with tech abuse visit refugetechsafety.org.
For more from Glamour UK's Lucy Morgan, follow her on Instagram @lucyalexxandra.
