Lupita Nyong’o On Sexism: ‘I Think About Getting What Is Due To Me’ | GLAMOUR UK

When I think about equality or equity,

I don't think about taking from a male figure,

I think about getting what is due to me.

[gentle music]

I'm sorry to say that I come

from a very chauvinistic society

and so I've had to really elbow my way

out of a lot of sexist boxes.

I was raised by two feminists, my mother and my father

and so I was instilled with the idea

that just because you have female organs

doesn't mean that you are,

that you are less than in any sort of way.

I remember when I was younger whistling

and being told that women don't whistle,

I mean, just things like that,

that are so extremely frustrating.

But I'm glad I had this core,

I had, my foundation was extremely feminist

and so I think in the world as I navigate it today,

I personally know that I am capable

of whatever I put my mind to.

Whether someone agrees with that or not

is not a concern of mine.

And then sometimes it's just microaggressions,

you know, tiny little things that you notice

in the way a question will be posed or an expectation.

Like I've definitely been on sets,

I remember like going to the craft table

to get something to eat

and the person manning the table offering me,

oh, you might want a salad,

because the assumption is because I'm an actress,

I don't eat carbs or, you know,

like just silly things like that.

They're really thin and subtle but they exist

and I point them out when I can.

[gentle music]

When I think about equality or equity,

I don't think about taking from a male figure,

I think about getting what is due to me.

Unfortunately, male roles have historically

been more well-written so I can also understand

the impulse to take a male role and flip it

for a female role so that it can have

the depth of character that we crave for.

But I definitely have more of an appetite for new material

than for redoing old material

because there's just way more stories

than we give ourselves credit for.

[gentle music]

I think I've leaned into sisterhood the most right now.

It occurred to me that I didn't really like

how much time I spent on my own

because my job requires me to relocate a lot,

so I asked one of my sisters who works virtually

to basically come and live with me

while I make Black Panther 2

and it's been glorious to come home to her

and have dinner with her and explore Atlanta with her.

[gentle music]

I think I definitely learned that

you have to move with intention but you also have to let go

because things don't always go according to your plan.

So I think I've grown a lot more relaxed

with the change of plans in a way that I wasn't before,

Ooh, before this pandemic came and rocked our world.

I think I was a little bit more rigid

about needing things to go a certain way

and now I let go a lot easier.

[gentle music]

It was the first time that I was surrounded

by so many actor mothers.

It was so great to watch these women

at the top of their game doing what they do

and also having a set that was embracing of their role

as mothers as well and to observe how they negotiate those,

those two very important roles that they play in the world.

Obviously, I don't have a family of my own yet

but it's lovely to see a healthy working environment

where femininity is being embraced in every way.

[gentle music]

I think really 2020 has been a real tester

of everybody's mental strength, right, and mental health.

I think I spent a lot of time thinking about what was,

what I needed to do to remain healthy

'cause I spent a whole lot of time on my own

in a way that I just had never had to.

So, I got into really good habits like meditating

and going on walks and without navigation

which was one of my favorite things to do, you know,

just leave and find my way back

and just, yeah, to allow myself to be present

and also practicing gratitude.

Before every meal I express out loud

three things that I'm grateful for.

And it just, for me it really remind,

even on a tough day when you have to do that,

when you really, really don't feel like there's anything

you can be grateful for,

just forcing myself to think about

something I'm grateful for and sometimes it's like,

I'm just grateful to have electricity, you know.

[gentle music]

I wish that I could have told myself,

I've always known that it's okay not to know,

but I wish I could have, I wish I knew that it's okay

not to know what you don't know,

which is a whole other step of not knowing.

I have gotten to a place where now I know to say,

what questions should I ask

instead of trying to make up questions

that I really just don't have access to.

And I wish I'd had known that when I was beginning

because there's a lot of fake it till you make it, you know,

is one line of thought but sometimes

it's even better not to fake it

and just like be honest to yourself and to other people.

In my very first press tour it was exhausting,

I was physically unhealthy, you know,

when I look at pictures, I was so thin

and it was because I was stressed out

but there was a lot of good coming my way

and you don't think of good things

as necessarily causing stress.

So I didn't know that I was stressed, [laughs]

until like, until I was like breaking down and crying

but I didn't know how stressed I was because I was moving,

there was so much positivity coming my way,

I mean, so much from absolutely nowhere.

It was all very new.

Experience will allow,

will give you information about yourself,

so I don't regret any of it

but I also know a whole lot better now

and I know my limitations,

I know the ways in which I thrive, I can thrive

so I can create the scenario for me to thrive in now,

because I know more.