The winter and autumn months bring with them many challenges, particularly January. The post-Christmas lull, the financial hangover from said season, the pressure to have a plan for the year ahead, the bleak weather.
But, for women and female-indentifying people, the winter months also bring with them something much more sinister. The shorter days that come with this time of year mean that we feel unsafe to venture outside our own homes after mid afternoon, when the darkness draws in. Just when we might want to embark on a fitness kick to start the year off right, we're confined to our homes.
I need not explain too fully why – the very public conversation around male violence against women after the murders of Sarah Everard, Sabina Nessa, Zara Aleena and many more – says it all.
“We need our voices to be heard and everyone to recognise our revolution.”
And this issue just doesn't seem to be getting the serious consideration it deserves. A Sainsbury's advert has recently received criticism for appearing to ignore the safety issues women face after dark.
An in-store poster showing a woman wearing a wrap dress with a statement reading: “For walks in the park or strolls after dark” has been axed, after outcry that many women, in fact, do not go for strolls after dark due to the fact that doing so would make them fear for their own life.
In response to this outcry, Sainsbury's have told GLAMOUR: "We are sorry that due to the design some customers found this sign to be inappropriate and are working to remove these from store. We will work hard with our agency partner to ensure this doesn't happen again.”
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In 2022, we face an increasingly unreliable public transport system, not to mention the logistical and financial struggle of securing an Uber home, so we often resign ourselves to a night in to guarantee ourselves safety. We miss out on socialising with friends, exercise, running errands such as trips to the shop or walking the dog – essentially, our lives.
The restrictions we face in this way has a direct effect on our physical, as well as mental, health. More than half (56%) of women quit exercising completely in winter, according to a 2022 survey by Sports Direct. We miss out on the benefits of endorphins and keeping fit, due to the fear of what could happen if we step out.
If I am planning to leave the house during the darker hours, I embark on a collision course of shared locations on WhatsApp, near-constant text conversations so others know I’m still alive and co-ordinated meet-ups, so that I spend the least amount of time alone as possible.
It’s a huge – yet necessary – effort. And to be honest, the effort weighed up with the danger of violence (rape, murder, robbery) can cause me to reconsider my plans.
I’m not alone in this. Last year, ONS research found that 49% of women reported feeling unsafe walking alone after nightfall in a busy public place. And while the conversation may not be loud enough, people are speaking up on Twitter about the pure injustice of us having to put our lives on hold for two seasons of the year.
"It was really important."
“What a civilisation [where] in 2022 women still can't go out alone at night without fearing being harmed,” one tweeted. While another posted: “Women can't go out alone at night without harassment from men”.
While the issue of male violence against women is undoubtedly being discussed more so than in previous years – and decades – it seems like the tacit acceptance by the majority of women that they just shouldn’t venture outside alone once it gets dark is not being questioned enough.
I’d go as far to say that many of us end up exhaustedly putting it down as a necessary act of self preservation, instead of it being one of many ridiculously unfair elements of the patriarchy.
We sit inside, missing out on night runs, peaceful and reflective twilight strolls and not to mention various social engagements. Should this be viewed as normal? Is this an acceptable way for at least half the population to feel like they have to behave?
Most frustratingly, while the majority of those affected by this issue seem aware of how unfair this is, I’ve had to explain it to so many men. That the threat and harsh reality of violence against women keeps us inside.
There was the guy I dated who repeatedly questioned why it was necessary that I ran with a friend in the dark, never alone. He talked at length about how much he enjoyed a solitary jog at 10pm, and balked when I explained why I could never enjoy one of these myself.
Another would call me walking his dog in the darkness, revelling in the quiet. I was so jealous.
The author of ‘I’m Glad My Mom Died’ on her heartbreaking memoir.
The fear of attack or violence in the darkness doesn’t sit exclusively during the winter months, either – it just worsens due to the increase in darker hours. This summer, I walked home from a party at 5am and was terrified by the lack of street lighting throughout my parents’ housing estate.
During that unbearable five-minute walk in the pitch black, led only by my phone’s torch light, I voice noted my friend a garbled stream of consciousness the entire time, in the futile hope that if anything did happen to me, if someone appeared from in front of or behind me and hurt me, she would somehow be able to deduce where I was when it happened.
It's unlikely she would've been able to, but – as is often the case in these situations – I felt powerless, so did what little I could to feel safe.
This isn’t good enough – we must insist on more conversation, and more action, around the confinement we feel by the days becoming shorter, and the threat we feel from walking the streets alone. While the “advice” given out to prepare or protect us from the threat of violence on these darker nights is well meaning, it misses the point.
Even if we wear bright colours, opt to exercise in a group, stick to a well-lit route and stop using headphones so as to be hyper aware of our surroundings and how safe they are, the fact remains that we've been forced to moderate our behaviour for a danger that shouldn't exist.
“While we know that women often restrict their activities and freedoms in the winter months, it is male violence, not longer nights, that are the problem," Andrea Simon, director of the End Violence Against Women Coalition, tells me.
"We need to move past these frustrating conversations about women taking further safety precautions or being vigilant, and talk about our collective responsibility to change societal attitudes, hold each other accountable and intervene as bystanders.
"We are starting to see more and more public campaigns targeting men's attitudes and behaviour. This is exactly the right focus. The onus can never be on women to ‘keep ourselves safe’, as nothing we can do will stop a perpetrator intent on harming us.”
While we might not be able to get back the nights we've sat in, we can, and must, use our voices to talk about the issue that's keeping us inside.
