Festival season is in full swing. Glastonbury and Wireless are already under the belt, and the likes of Reading, Leeds and Boomtown are all to come. Yep, there's plenty of sitting on shoulders, crowd wooping and confetti cannoning still to be had in summer 2023 and, while the festival good times will roll, that first day trek to the camp ground is always a test of endurance. The first step towards a painless festival entry? Don't overpack.
Glastonbury ‘23 was my third year on the hallowed Worthy farm grounds and, it would seem, I still haven’t learnt my lesson when it comes to overpacking. My rucksack weighed a hefty 70kg (the same weight as my whole body, I might add) and it took a total three people to leverage it onto my back with each shuffle through the entry queue. After the embarrassment of falling on my back like a wrong-side-up woodlouse, I've decided that the chronic overpacking must stop.
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First up on the festival checklist chopping block?
1. Wellies
Three years now I've worn my wellies in and out of Glastonbury only for the weather to shine brighter than Rihanna circa. 2012. Saying this, I'm well aware of the 180 degree switch-up Blighty's climes can inflict on us and I would never (never !!) rely on good weather on this unreliable island.
So, unless your festival's weekend is set for a downpour, I'd prepare yourself for some potentially soft, spluttery ground but nothing on the level of Woodstock ‘99’s infamous floods. Doc Marten Chelsea boots make for a perfect inbetween with enough water resistance to weather a light shower but less weight than their longer (and swelteringly claustrophobic) wellington sisters.
2. Toilet paper
Hear me out.
Of course you're going to need something to clean your nether regions. The portaloos and long drops will either run out half way through day one or, worse, they won't stock it altogether. Nonetheless, toilet paper is a poor choice in testing conditions. All it takes is one spell of rain or a spilled tinny in your backpack to render your TP useless, not to mention how bulky it is when you're trying to cram it into a titchy bum bag.
The solution? Moist toilet wipes. Inexpensive, biodegradable and sealed within a hygienic and splash-proof plastic pack, these wipes will insure your festi toilet trips against inclement weather and, dare we say it, any accidental drunken drops in the portaloo. The plastic packaging has got you covered - just make sure you've got anti bac to hand.
3. A water bottle
Again, hold your horses. I do not question the basic human need to rehydrate amid a weekend's worth of luke warm beers, ciders and the rest. What I do question, however, is the requirement to lug a cumbersome metal water bottle around alongside said tepid IPA when, we all know, you need at least one free arm to enact your best dad moves.
Thankfully, as these conflicting needs seem to have reached an impasse, the resourceful sellers at Amazon have come through with a nifty solution. Enter: the foldable water bottle. Light as a feather, easily folded up into a pocket or bum bag or clipped onto your belt loop, this £3.99 pouch is the stuff if festival dreams.
4. A playsuit
If you've ever been left in a portaloo, rendered helpless in your birthday suit as you frantically clutch your playsuit around your knees (lest it so much as touch the grime-covered floor), then you'll know the plague of the festival playsuit. Having ended up in such a situation in not only a portaloo but the hell-hole that is Glastonbury's long drop's, I can firmly say it's an experience no one should ever hope to endure.
Now, you ask, how will I create those same all-in-one-colourful-vibes? Well, reader, the answer is simple. Swap that playsuit for a co-ord and live fear-free at your next festival, without naked toilet dread hanging like a cloud overhead.
5. An electric handheld fan
I'll keep this short and sweet: the 👏 battery 👏 will 👏 run 👏 out 👏. Besides the fact that it most likely won't add much more than a huff of a cooling breeze (we're talking, a gust like blowing on your pasty to save a third-degree mouth burn), there's realistically no way your £5.99 Amazon mini fan is lasting through two or three days of constant use. For context, that's around five hours of midday heat per day, at best…
Save yourself the weight and money by opting for a lighter, cheaper and battery-free hand fan. They were Glastonbury ‘23’s must-have accessory and I frequently found myself asking (read: wining, begging, pleading) one of the girls in our group to borrow hers. Don't be like me.
6. All the snacks
Now this one might cause some conflict. As a group of girls who don't just like food but rather worship the ground that it walks on, you might be surprised to hear that we, in unison, agreed that our influx of snacks and treats from home were unnecessary.
Naturally, if you're hoping to save £££ at your next festival, this advice might not be as pertinent to you as it is others. As a student, I certainly practised my fare share of frugal festivals.
For me now, I must say I've had some of the best meals of my life at festivals and, be it the Glasto Nanny Bills pop-up or Neighbourhood Weekender 2022's cajun chicken Bayou Bar, you can bet I will have my fare share of festi food truck treats. Alas, this meant that our group of Glasto goers ended up swapping out our measly muesli bars in favour of something entirely more delicious from the grounds' caterers. My advice? Save yourself the rucksack space, succulent savouries (and sweets!) await.
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7. A jumper and a waterproof
Everyone will tell you to be prepared for both the colder nights and a potential downpour. What they won't tell you is that both of these items - your cosy jumper and cagoule - will take up a huge amount of rucksack real estate. Find yourself a happy medium with an insulated waterproof.
It sounds so obvious, but the number of us lugging around pac-a-macs and that 'ADA' Adenola sweatshirt for the night's acts was comical. Either it wouldn't rain altogether or our sweatshirts would leave the sweaty dance tent in the same round-our-waists knot as they arrived. The verdict? You don't need both and your rucksack-fearing back and shoulders will thank you.
For more festival content browse our guides to the best festival outfits, the best festival tents and the best UK festivals 2023. For more from GLAMOUR UK's Commerce Writer Lucy Smith follow her on Instagram @luceeeeesmith.
