1. I'm in my seat. Act cool, Leanne. Just act cool.
2. Everyone is dressed so fancy.
3. The French girls are just... wow.
4. What's in the water here?
5. Note to self: drink more water before I return to London.
6. Everyone is pretending like they're totally chilled about being here.
7. Maybe they are - but I'm totally losing my shit.
8. This is so exciting.
9. The runway is just so... glittery!
10. I hope no one falls.
11. And yes, I'm talking to you Bella Hadid.
12. People watching is amazing right now.
13. The lights have dimmed slightly... must look out for late arrivals - it's usually the big celebs. Searches longingly for Zayn.
14. OMG is that Kim Kardashian?
15. Nope.
16. Like she'd ever come to Paris again.
17. The fellas are all trying to pretend that they're not excited about seeing boobs and bums.
18. Ooh the chair I'm sitting on is comfy.
19. I have my glittery wristband on... I might keep it on forever.
20. Holy shit, the runway is the size of an Olympic swimming pool.
**21.**Girl behind me is hungry - she's desperate for a snack. So am I now.
**22.**I'm mesmerised by the cameras that whizz along the sides.
23. I've seriously lost count of how many YSL across-the-body bags I've seen parade past.
24. Loving the music as we wait - we've got some 90s R'n'B to keep us entertained.
25. WHERE ARE THE CELEBS?
26. Blimey! A girl in a leopard print boob tube dress has just gone past... because why not eh?
27. So many barely black tights - note to self: buy some.
28. Lenny Kravitz is here and looking hella hot. How is he 52?
29. I wonder if he's wearing leather trousers?
30. Snigger 🙊
31. Man he's cool. 😎
32. Carine Roitfeld, Lottie Moss and Mr Balmain Olivier Rousteing himself are here.
33. Ooh I'm directly opposite Yolanda Hadid - I must have a good spot!
34. Dominic West is here - random - he looks so suave chatting to the lady next to him.
35. Everyone wants to have an "affair" with Dominic West, amIright, or amiright?!
**36.**There are so many attractive men in this room RN.
37. Swooning.
38. LOL just spotted a pair of sparkly sequin hot pants on someone in the front row. When in Paris, and all that.
39. The final people are taking their seats. Come the fuck on, Bridget!
**40.**Ooooh people are clapping - it's about to start.
**41.**I need a wee.
42. It's starting - there's a live orchestra playing in the wall behind the door where the models are coming out. C'est chic.
43. Bam, doors are open! Hiya Elsa Hosk.
44. Woah! Her shoes are high.
**45.**I couldn't walk in those shoes.
46. Ooh, spotted my first wink to camera.
47. Why can't I wink like that?
48. Must work on my winking?
49. Seriously though, how hard can it be to look sexy whilst winking?
50. Hmph.
51. Are those headdresses going to cause offence?
**52.**Sara Sampaio has the best skin I've ever seen - must buy one of those 24k gold face masks.
53. LADY GAGA has arrived! I fucking love Lady Gaga.
54. She's dressed very classy... she's singing that song she did in her Carpool Karaoke.
55. When the models come down she turns into a statue - yes, Lady G!
56. I'm obsessed.
57. She's finished, and she's exiting the show near Yolanda. Wtf she's pretending to bow down to Yolanda. She must be a Real Housewives fan.
**58.**Gigi's up! Man she's good at this VS malarkey.
**59.**Must find out what highlighter they have on their cheekbones.
**60.**Why do I always just look sweaty when I use highlighter? Am I doing it wrong?
61. The stage is covered in actual glitter, it's coming up when the girls are strutting their stuff.
62. I can't see a wind machine but there has to be one, surely!
63. Bruno Mars is up! I love how pocket sized he is and he gives zero fucks about that.
64. Ok, just spotted his high heels - maybe he cares a little bit!
65. Lenny Kravitz is loving him. He's even clapping along.
66. The gym gear segment is kind of hilarious - those trousers with the cut out crotch.
67. I might wear those the next time I'm in Fitness First. Great for ventilation.
68. Like I'd ever go to the gym.
69. Yikes, Bruno nearly got taken out by a huge fuck off bow on one of the girls backs.
70. She probably didn't see him he's so ickle.
**71.**Finally! I've spotted the wind machine.
72. Oh I get so nervous when the girls come down singing the lyrics to the song. Don't get it wrong, don't get it wrong...
73. And hello The Weeknd.
74. Immediately look over at Yolanda - she's clapping. Maybe Abel and Bella haven't split after all...
75. OK I reckon if Bella walks they're still together, if she does't - they've broken up
76. Ooh here she is!
77. They're having a moment 💕. All the feels.
78. He's checking out her bum.
79. Yep, they're totally still ON. Was that split thing just a publicity stunt? Don't know, don't care.
80. Adriana Lima really is the boss of this whole operation isn't she? Her walk is pure 👌🏽
81. Lady Gaga is back! She's in sequins and she's doing a dance which is just awesome AF.
82. Must look at models but can't stop staring at Gaga.
83. ZOMG I'm sure she just nearly fell over! Those shoes, man! How on earth does she walk in them?
84. The cheers are so loud for Gigi when she's on the runway.
85. Did Gaga just put up her two fingers to Gigi?
86. In one of the stalls opposite me there's a woman in a black and white dress who is whooping for joy at every moment.
87. She can't be French.
88. Or English.
89. I wish she was my mate though.
90. Ok, I just whooped out loud. It had to be done, life's short, whoop a little.
91. Irina Shayk is walking - she's pretty covered up. That's strange...
92. Girl behind me reckons she's preggo.
93. IS SHE? Imagine Irina Shayk and Bradley Cooper's baby? #GeneGoals.
94. Kendall is walking... I wish Kendall would interact more with us all. She's quite serious.
95. For the love of god, SO many heart outlines with the hands. We get it, you're feeling the love here.
96. The boots are so very Vivian in Pretty Woman, aren't they?
**97.**BIG MISTAKE. BIG. HUGE.
98. Bruno is back... of course he comes with a big gold disco ball. Sure.
99. What the hell, him and his crew at the top of the runway giving their best moves around the models.
100. Does Bruno Mars have a girlfriend?
101. He might have one after tonight...
102. I've seen so many butt cheeks tonight and they've all been dimple free. Jels.
103. I want a bum like her.
104. And her.
105. And her.
106. Ooh they're all up... it's the finale. My eyes, there's just so much to take in.
**107.**I want to take a pic... fuck it, I'm taking a picture even though no one is allowed. It's not like I'll be escorted off the premises now.
108. God I'm such a rebel.
109. Oh yes, this is everything and more.
110. Confetti is falling from the sky and I just want to watch it all over again.
111. God I'm such a fan girl.
112. Act cool Leanne, act cool.
113. Too late.
