As is customary for all Brits, when I woke up this morning and saw that the sun was shining, I immediately WhatsApped my friends: “The sun is out!”.
It's a sure-fire winner in a group chat, guaranteed to earn you a string of emojis and excitable responses, and this morning's included one which read: “Good weather always makes me question whether I do actually need therapy or whether just moving to a sunnier country would more or less solve my problems.”
It's undeniable that sun makes us feel better, longer days help us feel more energised and all the extra vitamin D does, scientifically, help boost our mood and our overall sense of wellbeing.
Add to this the fact that, in the UK, it is thought that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects 2 million of us, and this winter, we were hit with wave after wave of depressing news, and suddenly my friend's comment starts to feel that it has more truth to it than you might have initially given it credit for.
But before you email your therapist to tell them that you quit with reckless abandon, or take yourself off any NHS waiting list, let's think about this for a moment: is quitting therapy when you suddenly feel as though you are in a better place a good idea to begin with?
As both the daughter of a therapist and a patient of various therapeutic methods myself (I've been with my current therapist for over three years) my answer would be no.
It's dangerous to assume that a clutch of sunny days have magically made our problems less prevalent and it's short-sighted, especially given as summer is a season, not a lifestyle - or at least, certainly not here in the UK.
I wish more people were able to access this therapy that helped me face my dysmorphia and self-esteem issues.
But, given that I'm not a therapist myself, I decided to ask a professional whether she notices a dip in clients over the warmer months and if quitting your therapist in response to feeling a boost in mood from the sun is ever a good idea.
“The thing about therapy is that many people wrongly assume that you only need to be actively working on yourself when you're in a crisis,” therapist Tami Sobell, founder of TS Therapy says.
“However, we often find that the real work – the deeper stuff – comes to the fore and can be worked on once the crisis has dissipated.”
She explains that, for example, many people start therapy to help them through a breakup and so during their initial sessions they are only dealing with what is happening for them in the moment.
“Once they feel they are able to cope once again and are on their way to moving on, we can start to look at other aspects of their life – past and present – and this will, over time, give them a better sense of awareness and understanding about their own triggers, behaviours and boundaries - and it's this, rather than being able to get over a breakup more quickly, that is ultimately going to give them a better quality of life,” Tami tells me.
Our mental health requires maintenance, not just an initial polish.
It's the same for most things in life. Take our bodies, for example, if we stopped exercising or eating healthily (whatever that means for us) when we felt at peace with how we looked or felt, we'd notice a steady decline in that soon after.
Or think about your job, if you took a break from being productive every time you achieved positive feedback or a sense of security, you'd find yourself getting negative feedback pretty sharpish.
“Therapy is for good times, not just bad,” Tami says. “If we continually attend sessions, we are better prepared for when a crisis rolls around again, it helps us to minimise those dips and keep our life on a more even footing.”
In fact, research released during the pandemic suggested that therapists saw a huge surge in people coming to therapy in the October of each year.
This is when summer really feels as though it's gone and we begin a comedown of, for some of us, momentous proportions.
“If we stick with therapy during the times where we feel good, we are more likely to stretch that good feeling out for longer, and avoid the crash that comes once this stops,” Tami says.
However, all this is not to say that you can never have a break from therapy - taking some time and space away from active sessions can actually be a positive thing.
“Therapy breaks can offer great growth opportunities when handled well,” Tami adds. “As long as they are considered and discussed as part of the therapeutic process, taking time away from active sessions to reflect and process can actually see clients return to the process with renewed vigour.”
Therapy can be tiring, there's no denying it.
Mining your own life, week-in and week-out, and exploring the darkest, or most hidden parts of ourself takes its toll, and some of my biggest breakthroughs have come during, or just after, a short break.
“Sometimes a therapy break can feel like a relief, a chance to slow down the hard work of self-discovery and change, and focus more on putting your new learnings into practice.
It may even feel exhilarating, like you’ve been learning to ride a bike and now the training wheels have been removed and you can venture out on your own, getting more and more confident,” Tami says. “The important thing is to talk it through with your therapist and make sure you have a date set to check back in.”
So, if the sun has you feeling like you've got your mojo back, amazing, let's bask in it for as long as we possibly can (after all, the research does show that the more time we spend outside, the better for our mental and physical health).
But let's do that while also getting to some really juicy - and enlightening - deeper parts of ourself in the process.
As I imagine skydivers might say: “You can enjoy the view without cutting the parachute cord.”
Neglecting your needs leads to anger and resentment, especially if it falls to you to make sure everyone else is fed, entertained and getting enough sleep.
