The Traitors spoilers incoming!
There’s no escaping the fact that life is January-ing in a big way this year, but luckily for us, The Traitors season 3 is here to save the year already. In case you haven’t had access to a TV/ internet/ social media/ been part of society over the last three years, you may have missed real-life Cluedo, which follows 25 strangers (some with short lived air time this year – more on this soon) who are divided into innocent ‘faithfuls’ and murdering ‘traitors’. By day, they play happy families competing in challenges to contribute to a prize fund; by night, they metaphorically murder one another in a Scottish castle. It all happens under the watchful fringe of Claudia Winkleman. Iconic.
It may sound like a very niche TV format if you haven’t watched it before or you may, like me, be one of the many people emotionally invested with the show to a level that it consumes 99% of your waking thoughts for the entirety of January each year. I am seriously not alone; season 2 of the BBC show broke viewing records, becoming the most watched entertainment show in two years. Season 3 was released on New Year's Day, and if the first few episodes are anything to go by, it's set to be better than ever.
The beginning of this series was the definition of BRUTAL. As the 25 contestants sipped tea on a steam train on the way to the castle, Claudia took to the tannoy system to announce there was only space for 22 contestants in the castle. Each of the carriages had to expel someone or risked losing up to £10,000 from the prize fund. It was a genius move by the producers and showed The Traitors is the one reality TV show that doesn’t rest on its laurels.
This is exactly why we are so hooked: it marks the dawn of a new era of high camp reality TV – after we have all been suffering from reality TV fatigue. Let’s face it, we are on season one billion of Ru Paul’s Drag Race – and who even remembers the last winner of Love Island? Anyone?
And when I say high camp, I mean high camp. From the traitors meeting in a turret every night deciding who to murder in their drama-giving capes, to wannabe Prime Minister Freddie taking slow-mo showers (he gets my vote, clearly for services to thirst), and one-liner after one-liner served at daily round tables where the faithfuls attempt to expel (and try to spell the names of – Nather, anyone?!?) a traitor from the game – the show is camper than a row of tents.
But it isn’t only that. The Traitors’ plot twists and cliffhangers make for a level of suspense Martin Scorsese could only dream of creating. What other show would give you two sisters – Armani and Maia – competing against each other, with one (so far) blissfully unaware the other is a traitor? It’s going to end in family therapy, isn’t it? Then you have priest Lisa who has hidden her clerical collars for the game. Then there’s Charlotte faking a Welsh accent to seem more ‘faithful’; a questionable move considering she'll have to keep it up for six weeks and isn't Meryl Streep. Lest we forget Leanne, trying to disguise the fact she's ex-military by wearing the best pink suit this side of River Island Westfield.
The instantly meme-able cast is often what keeps us coming back year after year. Lest we forget the icon of season 2, retired 63-year-old teacher Diane, who drank fizzy rosé from a poisoned chalice. Unforgettably, the next day she was given the state funeral the nation needed for the death of the second Lady Di as she marched unknowingly in front of a horse-drawn carriage to her own funeral and burial (!) with all the contestants in mourning attire, led by Claudia in a veil, all as part of their daily challenge. It was another Oscar-worthy moment.
Yes, there are lies, betrayal and manipulation; but this isn't reality TV's usual lazy storyline of contestants screeching at each other. When the traitors are uncloaked or faithfuls banished, there are no hard feelings (maybe with the exception of when traitor Harry won season 2 – Mollie, my thoughts are still with you!)
What also sets the show apart is that the contestants don't appear fame-hungry – aside from Diane landing a few fizzy drink sponsors (well-deserved) and a Lidl Christmas campaign alongside Martine McCuthcheon – they seem like they just want to play the game. Take silent assassin and my stand out MVP so far in this series – Minah, a call centre manager from Liverpool – who wants to get her hands on the possible £120,000 jackpot to get a house deposit and a stunning honeymoon but loves lying along the way.
Then of course there's queen of the castle, Claudia Winkleman, who rejoices in bringing us piping hot drama and camp one-liners while doing things like asking an owl to help her choose red leather gloves, and wearing oversized knits, tartan skirts and a proper good boot. Her enthusiasm for the game knows no bounds – she cheers the contestants on during the challenges and chastises them over breakfast, particularly when the traitors have got away with murdering her favourite faithful. Give that woman a BAFTA.
And more importantly can you stay there?
Whilst this all has the makings of an epic TV show, The Traitors is truly special because it is doing the work many reality TV shows – namely Love Island – refuse to do: it casts contestants from all ages, all backgrounds and all personalities. In the process, it harks back to the origins of reality TV shows like the OG Big Brother, which was all about creating a must-see sociological experiment – not creating a launch pad for the next face of Pretty Little Thing.
As The Traitors season 3 gets into its stride, I can’t wait for more delicious drama. At least it will get my heart rate going without having to commit to a January fitness regime.
The Traitors airs at 9pm on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.
