Ambition has long been a complicated word for many women in the workplace. If it wasn't a dirty word that saw many stereotypically labelled as ‘aggressive’ or ‘demanding’, it was a driver that left many burnt out and disillusioned, particularly in a post-pandemic world where we are left wondering whether our devotion to our jobs is really worth it.
‘Quiet quitting’ was the buzzy career term of 2022, only reinforcing the idea that many Gen-Z and millennial workers are no longer willing to make their jobs the be-all-and-end-all of their existence. Next came ‘quiet thriving’ – the idea that we can be fulfilled even in work we don't love, by focusing on wellbeing and positivity – but what does that mean when it comes to our true life goals, our ambitions?
While the idea of quiet quitting sparked some debate about work ethic and privilege, our relationship with ambition has undoubtedly changed. A recent Fortune report declares 2023 the era of ‘quiet ambition’ – as many see their goals switch from the traditional ideals of job success to individual wellbeing and fulfilment, whether that's within our careers or more personal matters.
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Life coach Nichola Henderson tells GLAMOUR that many people are still going through a “re-evaluation phase” following the pandemic. “It will always be a time that redefined all our lives and the lasting effects cannot be underestimated,” she says. “The shock of losing control of our freedom, the realisation that work can look very different from the traditional view, that there are other ways to live and still thrive, that life is short and unpredictable… these all changed our view as a society. People are more aware than ever that balance is crucial to lead a happy life. Goals that may have appealed pre-2020 have been redefined and redesigned forever.”
She adds that this new era of ambition could look different for many people. “It could mean striving for a career that fulfils you, rather than chasing a title or a promotion, or making peace with where you are rather than where society thinks you should be,” she says.
“Or it could be focusing on filling up your soul, doing things that are fun, that make you feel alive, pushing yourself into self-development for no other reason than getting to know what you really want. It could be leaving a ‘sensible’ job to do something that you’ve always wanted to, something you have a passion for.”
She adds: “It's a deeper, innate knowing of how you would like to feel, a sense of what you would like to do with your life, and taking steps towards that, without focusing on societal and cultural expectations.”
The ageing ‘gracefully’ myth.
GLAMOUR spoke to a number of millennial and Gen-Z and women who can relate to the notion of ‘quiet ambition’.
“My pre-Covid ambitions were purely career-focused," says Sophie, who works in marketing. “I had a poor work-life balance and paid little to no attention to the fact my employers were benefitting more from my ambition than I ever was. I was made redundant during Covid and it shocked me just how much of my identity was wrapped up in my role and my job title.
"Now, I am still very ambitious within my career but I am equally ambitious for a better balance.
I work hard at work, but then not at all at home. I have a separate work phone which is not looked at outside of work hours and I make sure my rest is properly restful," she adds.
Hollie says: “I used to be viciously ambitious – I thought it meant climbing over people, getting to the top, with a huge salary to boot. Then severe illness came along and took that view of work right out of me. Five years on and I’m about to launch my own PR and comms agency, and being ambitious means sticking to my brand values and making sure everyone around me is happy. I’m ambitious, and proud, but it means putting health first.”
80% of companies pay men more than women, according to new research.
Others recognise that the traditional ideals of ambition have been detrimental – and haven't resulted in the financial security or ‘dream’ life many of us imagine.
“Being ambitious is exhausting. I've busted my ass off for 13 years, worked late, taken far too few holidays, suffered burnout and stress rashes. Now I earn a 'good' salary but still can't afford to buy a house. What is the point? Why can't we normalise being average?” Becky* adds.
Ambition doesn't need to mean burnout or severe stress, and having dreams and goals within work (or otherwise) can always be positive – but is there a ‘healthy’ way to be ambitious?
“Ambition is never a negative thing unless it brings negative consequences for the individual or the people around them,” says Nichola. “Ambition can be a wonderful driver; the difference comes from analysing the ‘why’ behind it. Asking yourself why you want the promotion, the bigger house, the new title, the team of people. Being really clear with yourself on what you want and why. How do you expect to feel. A lot of the time people achieve what they think will make them happy, but it doesn’t deliver the feeling. A good question to ask is: ‘Can you be happy and content now with what you have?’ If the answer is yes, then everything else is a bonus. Status and titles do not bring fulfilment, we just think that they will.”
She adds: "A good idea is to always ask yourself if you are acting in line with who you want to become, maintaining that sense of self, showing people who you really are, looking after yourself as well as other people, and striving toward something you believe in.
“You can maintain all your personal goals as long as you like your future self, the idea of who this person will become.”
*Some names have been changed.
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