Long before she rainbow-washed the music video for You Need to Calm Down, Taylor Swift sang about how “this is why we can't have nice things.” And never is that more true than in queer reality television, and queer dating shows in particular.
The BBC has confirmed that its acclaimed shows I Kissed a Boy and I Kissed a Girl have been axed due to “funding challenges.”
The same-sex dating show launched in 2023 with an all-male cast, followed by the all-women edition in 2024, before flipping back again in 2025. A BBC spokesperson told The Sun: “We are exceptionally proud of I Kissed a Boy/Girl, the UK’s first dating show for the LGBTQ+ community… Unfortunately, we have to make difficult choices in light of our funding challenges and there are no current plans for the show to return.”
“Funding challenges” that predominantly impact queer television. Sound familiar? Netflix recently cancelled The Ultimatum: Queer Love after two seasons, while the straight version, The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On, has international spinoffs and a fourth US season on the way.
Women have become equal players in their downfall.
Maybe queer TV draws smaller audiences — though I’d love to see the budgets and marketing efforts to confirm. Or maybe, just maybe, we still devalue queer relationships and don’t want to invest in them, even when the shows are wildly popular. Perhaps we’re not as progressive as we like to think.
The messy history of queer dating shows
Queer reality television has a… complicated history.
Take There’s Something About Miriam, which never claimed to be queer TV but centred six men competing for the affection of 21-year-old Mexican model Miriam Rivera. After selecting a winner, Rivera revealed she was a transgender woman. The “reveal” turned her identity into shock value and did little to protect her afterward.
Then there’s A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila, which threw 16 lesbians and 16 men into a house before revealing in the first episode that Tila is bisexual. Cue messy antics, butchphobia, and biphobia. Its spin-off, A Double Shot at Love With the Ikki Twins, followed bisexual twin models pitting straight men against queer women.
Some attempts were better: Courtney Act hosted The Bi Life in 2018, the UK’s first bisexual dating show, exploring dating in Barcelona with honesty and support. MTV’s Are You the One? tried a fully bisexual cast in Season 8, which was glorious but short-lived. Love Allways, TV’s first pansexual dating show, lasted a single season. Couple to Throuple (2024) followed ethically non-monogamous couples and singles — cancelled after just one season.
We need real, queer love
I Kissed a Girl and I Kissed a Boy were so popular because they offered authentic representation of queer dating rarely seen on mainstream TV, letting audiences see LGBTQ+ love and heartbreak unfold in real time.
Critics hailed the show as a “gamechanger” because it shifted the reality TV conversation by centring queer relationships in a format traditionally dominated by straight couples, with a BBC controller saying it would be a “reference point” for future LGBTQ+ representation on reality TV.
Reviewers praised I Kissed a Boy specifically for its authentic, grounded portrayal of queer dating — with one critic from The Guardian calling it a fun, joyful reminder that “luv is luv,” mixing real conversations about attraction with the kind of flirty drama viewers tune in for.
Media and fans also responded enthusiastically to the format, with some viewers saying the show felt fresh and unfiltered, and even joking that its compelling, inclusive drama made switching back to Love Island feel like a “culture shock.”
The second season of I Kissed a Boy helped shift conversations about representation by including Lars Fellows, a transgender man, bringing much-needed visibility to trans experiences in mainstream queer dating TV.
And yet, despite cultural impact and clear audiences, I Kissed a Boy, I Kissed a Girl, and The Ultimatum: Queer Love are all gone. Why?
It’s not just ratings. These shows reach straight and queer audiences alike. A common misconception is that queer reality TV is “just for queer people.” But just as LGBTQ+ people binge Love Island or Love Is Blind, straight audiences can gain insight from queer love. Shows like IKAG and IKAB teach about boundaries, jealousy, and communication in ways that even fictional worlds like Heated Rivalry or Red, White & Royal Blue can only attempt. Queer TV normalises relationships that challenge heteronormative assumptions, and yes, straight viewers can learn a lot from it.
“There’s something freeing about engaging with sexual content that isn’t directly projecting expectations onto women’s bodies or behaviour.”
The problem isn’t audience interest, it’s production companies' unwillingness to fully support queer content in a politically hostile climate. While transphobia and anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric grow in the UK and US, queer TV is still treated as “risky.” From Hampstead Heath debates to JK Rowling's outdated tirade, President Trump's inflammatory comments and even fans' biphobia around Bridgerton, the war is not won.
I want the women of I Kissed a Girl discussing bisexuality and navigating the biphobic responses they've received within the queer community. I want The Ultimatum: Queer Love, proving queer sex, love, and jealousy don’t mirror straight experiences.
As a teenager, I replayed Emily and Naomi’s kisses on Skins to fill the aching gap that the media was not providing. Shows like this make representation tangible: kissing, talking, living, planning futures; not just happy endings on a majority-straight cast.
We need real queer voices on screen, not tokenised storylines. We need shows with budgets, soundtracks, locations and proper marketing — so people can actually find them. Fund queer content like you mean it, and don't allow them to disappear because of “funding challenges”.
