Buckle up, everyone! The most body-shaming time of year is upon us. That's right, hello new year's resolutions!
After a month where most of us have (hopefully) rested, reconnected with loved ones and enjoyed every delicious festive snack on offer, we all know what comes next.
Diet culture goes into overdrive, and everywhere we turn, we’re reminded that it’s time to repent for those mince pies and burst into the New Year, ready to transform into our best [read: smallest] selves.
The first time I remember making a resolution around weight loss was in January 2004 – I was 10 years old, and I scrawled my diet goals in my Groovy Chick notebook, wanting more than anything to wake up one day and be the tall, slim, perfectly groomed grown woman in my imagination.
Fast forward two decades, countless diets, one serious eating disorder and hundreds of pounds lost and gained later, and I no longer make resolutions around weight loss. In fact, I have no desire to change my strong, soft, size 18 body at all. All of that is down to body positivity and learning why dieting… just doesn’t work.
Isn’t anyone curious about – I don’t know – how or what I'm really doing, as opposed to how I look in a pair of jeans?
“Losing weight” consistently tops the list of most popular New Year’s resolutions, and the global diet and weight loss industry was reportedly worth $246.8 billion in 2022. This means we spend a whole lot of money trying to make ourselves smaller – especially at this time of year. But where do we end up?
80% of New Year’s resolutions are broken by February. And when it comes to dieting in particular, the stats are even more wild…
“Diets don’t work. And the reasons are far more complicated than not having enough willpower or just needing to try harder.”
The percentage of people who lose weight on diets and maintain that weight loss long term comes in at between 3-5%. More than that, at least one-third to two-thirds of people tend to regain more weight than they lost in the first place.
Diets don’t work. And the reasons are far more complicated than not having enough willpower or just needing to try harder.
Now, I’m not saying that you can’t make intentional changes to prioritise nutrition and add more health-promoting behaviours into your life. But if you’re looking for that quick-fix, Lose-20-Pounds-In-20-Minutes crash diet result? You’re more likely to lose money, joy and self-esteem than weight. You deserve better than that.
We all deserve better than a lifetime battling our bodies to fit an impossible beauty standard, and beating ourselves up when it inevitably doesn’t work. We deserve to make resolutions that make our worlds bigger! Not just our bodies smaller.
Treating bodies as commodities you can “try on” is damaging and dangerous.
So, if you’re ready to ditch diet culture and give that old resolution a makeover, here are 10 suggestions for a body-shame-free 2023:
1. Give up negative body talk
Instead of swearing off carbs, why not try to cut back on the critical voice that tells you you’re not good enough whenever you look in the mirror? I know; it’s easier said than done. But actively trying to override negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmation really can help to change the way you see yourself.
Replace I’m so hideous with there are so many great things about me that have nothing to do with my body. Swap out I’m a failure for I’m doing my best and I deserve to be on my own side. Do it for a whole year; I dare you.
2. Resolve to stop holding onto clothes that no longer fit you
Yes, I’m talking about that one pair of jeans you wore that one summer all those years ago that have tried to cut you in half every time you’ve wrestled them on since.
Weight fluctuations are normal, and it might be clever to hold onto a few different sizes if you’re up and down often. But if you’re clinging to long-outgrown items and using them as weapons to berate yourself, it’s probably time to let go. Jump on a second-hand app, send them off to their next owner and make room for your new favourite outfit of all time (which will be in your size!).
3. Learn about intuitive eating and heal your relationship with food
What are you meant to do after a lifetime of yo-yo diets and no idea what “normal” eating even looks like? Take it back to basics, reconnect with your body and unlearn all the moral judgements that diet culture teaches us about food.
Intuitive eating is meant to help you get back in touch with your hunger and fullness cues, re-learn how to listen to your body’s needs and nourish yourself without shame. I’d recommend starting with books like Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison, or listening to Laura Thomas’ podcast, Don’t Salt My Game.
“You’re fooled into thinking it’s possible to push a baby out of your vagina and be on a treadmill in your finest Sweaty Betty matching bra and leggings within hours.”
4. Reclaim some joyful movement
Getting more physically active always ranks high on New Year’s resolution lists, but usually, the reason for January gym membership mayhem is more rooted in guilt and unrealistic body goals than moving for the sake of enjoying it.
If you want the physical and mental health benefits of movement without the diet culture, why not pick your favourite childhood sport back up or try something totally new? What’s that gymnastics class with the big sheets that hang down from the ceiling called? Try that!
5. Do more things that scare you
Most lifetime dieters have a list of things we’ve told ourselves we can only do once we’ve lost those last x pounds. Wear a bright colour, cut off our hair, travel solo, ask someone out, get a tattoo… Whatever is on your ‘one day’ list, you owe it to yourself to do now, in the body you already have. Maybe you could even do one a month, for a year?
6. Stand up to diet culture and fatphobia when you see them
Spot a company using guilt and shame to sell a product that probably doesn’t work? Don’t give them your business! Notice that a brand only ever celebrates one type of body? Tell them to do better! Have to sit through that one family member telling you again how much better you’d look if you could only-? Set a boundary. Leave the room. Shut it down.
Imagine how much better off we’d be if we resolved not to take any more bullsh*t.
7. Give a non-physical compliment a day
Shower your friends with personality praise! Tell your co-worker how great they are at their job! Compliment a stranger’s energy on the train! Be the kind of person who reinforces that the best things about all of us have nothing to do with how we look.
You don't see the Internet coming for Gerard Butler.
8. Take yourself on a date every month
We are no longer waiting for “the one” to make us feel loved, important, special or sexually satisfied. We’re capable of doing all those things for ourselves. Challenge yourself to move beyond the discomfort of going places solo and treat yourself like the main character you are.
9. Books, books, books
Read 10 pages every night before bed. Get through 50 books in 2023. Make your way through every recipe in the cookbook. Re-read your favourite series. Whichever way you turn it, a book-based resolution is probably gonna bring you a lot more fulfilment than a weight loss one.
10. No self-improvement necessary
You know what? It’s been a long year. You are not required to make any grand declaration of self-improvement. Enjoy January. Go in without expectations. You do you, boo.
At the end of the day, when Big Ben strikes 12 and the New Year begins, it’s up to you which goals you set. No shame or shade coming from me – we’re all just doing our best out here.
But I hope we can all go in with at least a little bit of gratitude to our bodies for carrying us through another year, whether we’re ready to embrace them or not.
