What do Gerard Butler, Leonardo Di Caprio and Vince Vaughn have in common? Aside from being award-winning actors, they've all become poster boys for the widely-celebrated ‘dad bod'.
Despite two of the aforementioned not even having children, Gerard, Leo and Vince have been lauded for their undefined abs and softer stature - and whilst I'm not inferring there's anything wrong with a ‘dad bod' (in fact, I'm a huge fan), I simply wonder: where are the female equivalents? Have you ever heard the term ‘mum bod’ banded around in anything other than a negative fashion? Thought not.
So it's no surprise a recent study found that social media portrays an unrealistic image of postpartum bodies, posing a threat to new mums' mental health. The study by the University of Sydney analysed millions of images and found that features commonly found on postpartum bodies – stretch marks, a soft stomach, cellulite and scars from caesarean sections – were only shown in 5% of pictures. Instead, new mums were shown in workout gear, lingerie or swimwear – essentially, showcasing how quickly their bodies has ‘bounced back’.
Just look at the treatment of Rihanna, who has been the subject of snide remarks after giving birth. With some of her postpartum looks consisting of oversized casualwear, critics and commentators are praising Rihanna for refusing to conform to “snapback” culture – which essentially pressures women to magically “snap back” to their pre-pregnancy weight and appearance after giving birth. It is, of course, an extremely unrealistic expectation to have of new mothers whose bodies have gone through tremendous transformations during pregnancy.
But ironically, the scrutiny over Rihanna’s size and headlines such as this one that reads “Rihanna flaunts her post-pregnancy weight” and this one that says she’s “embracing her thickness,” which zone in on the state of her weight loss – or lack of it, prove that snapback culture is very much alive and that ‘mum bods’ aren't viewed as desirable.
A quick search on Urban Dictionary further proves my point. I typed in ‘dad bod' and here's what came back:
1. "Dad bod" is a male body type that is best described as "softly round." It's built upon the theory that once a man has found a mate and fathered a child, he doesn't need to worry about maintaining a sculpted physique.
2. Having a "dad bod" is a nice balance between working out and keeping a beer gut
I did the same for ‘mum bod’ and the result was pretty horrifying:
"A woman who has had at least one kid and that child has affected her body in such a way that it changes her physical appearance to the point to where she no longer looks like herself. Ex: stretch marks on the hips, thighs and boobs, rounded face, double chin, cellulite ass, saggy boobs from nursing and pumping, a rounded or sagging belly (stomach, abdomen).
“Some women are blessed with the natural ability to convert back to a very similar version of themselves or exactly like they were before conceiving. More times than not, these women will have additional kids and will not worry since they are convinced that their bodies can handle it without long term effects. Each child is different and more times than not, these women will have that one child that their body just can't recover from.”
Are you f****** kidding me? As a new mum and proud owner of the body to match, I'm lost for words - and it seems I'm not alone. An illustration of the contrast in the perception of dad bods versus mum bods is going viral on Instagram and it shows you all you need to know about the gender disparity of post-baby bodies.
The image shows a sketch of a dad bod with the words ‘acceptable and hyped’ next to one of a mother holding her baby with the words ‘unacceptable and shameful’ and an arrow pointing to her saying ‘the one who carried the baby in her body’. Boom.
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“What does it say about society that the sexiness of dad bodies makes headlines and we glorify beer bellied male celebrities as the epitome of cool, meanwhile the only thing they have to say about mom bodies is the 2749 ways they need to fix their “ruined” and unacceptably shameful selves?” asks body positivity influencer, Lainey Molnar. “And no, actually carrying the baby is not an excuse, our value lies both in how perfect our body looks AND how perfectly we play mom and house. Excuse me? No. Just no. Break the stigma, both bodies are awesome and sexy.”
So when did we start glorifying ‘dad bods' and shaming ‘mum bods’? It's thought that the term ‘dad bod’ came about on the back of an essay written by Clemson University student Mackenzie Pearson, who wrote:
"The dad bod says, 'I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time.' It's not an overweight guy, but it isn't one with washboard abs, either. Turns out skipping the gym for a few brews last Thursday after class turned out to be in their favour. While we all love a sculpted guy, there is just something about the dad bod that makes boys seem more human, natural and attractive."
Sadly it seems Mackenzie Pearson is right - and it's down to evolutionary factors. As Valerie Ellis, a former therapist turned artist whose work explores interpersonal and feminist issues, explains: “It’s a combination of genetic/evolutionary factors and cultural stereotypes. From an evolutionary perspective, larger men are more desirable because of their capacity to protect women and provide for them. Culturally, men are held to less rigorous ‘beauty’ standards because instead, they are measured by their ability to earn which is less directly connected to appearances.
"Women, on the other hand, are valued for their capacity to bear children and biologically, this is indicated by a youthful body especially with a slim waist. Culturally, this has translated into the extreme youth culture women are subjected to and into pornography that takes physical ideals to bizarre extremes of Barbie-doll figures. Happily, as culture advances, these simplistic and harmful stereotypes are challenged and replaced with more nuanced indicators of individual value. Social media has made a positive contribution by exposing the variety in human form and inclusion into social standards.” But as the aforementioned viral Instagram illustration proves, we still have a long way to go.
Author and body positivity trailblazer, Alex Light, thinks the Internet is actually to blame for womens' desperate attempts to evade any sign of a ‘mum bod'. She says: "For decades and generations now, women have been encouraged to ‘bounce back’ after giving birth, to ‘get back into shape’, ‘drop the baby weight’ and fit back into our pre-pregnancy jeans mere weeks after giving birth. There are websites, apps, Instagram accounts, books, thousands of articles and countless products (a quick Google search of ‘weight loss after pregnancy’ yields 720 million results) dedicated to the process.
"The prevailing message is ‘don’t look like you’ve had a baby’. And I’d like to ask: why not? What’s wrong with looking like you’ve had a baby? You have had a baby… And that’s an amazing thing that many people would absolutely love the chance to do.
“What is wrong with a ‘mum bod’? Nothing. There’s nothing wrong with it, it just doesn’t fit into society’s very narrow standard of beauty that women are taught we have to uphold at whatever cost.”
She's right; whilst men are given plenty of space to reject societal standards of beauty, women have to - quite literally - fit into a narrow one. The only way we'll break the barrier is by easing up on the rigid standards we hold ourselves to, so embrace your post-baby body in all its glory because every perceived imperfection tells a story about your pregnancy and the perfect little person you've birthed - and isn't that the most empowering damm thing ever?
