This article contains references to sexual assault.
The ‘mascara trend’ is a code word co-opted by users to discuss their relationships, breakups and sexual experiences to dodge TikTok’s rules and regulations. It’s generated some critical discussion points around consent and sexual assault, with many using it to share their own experiences, raising awareness of the many forms sexual assault can take.
Last week, Julia Fox came under fire for misunderstanding the trend. One user shared a video describing that he “gave this one girl mascara one time and it must’ve been so good that she decided that her and her friend should both try it without my consent.” Believing that he was referring to makeup, Fox commented, “Idk why but I don’t feel bad for u lol.” The reply read: “You don’t feel bad that I was sexually assaulted?”
After the backlash she received, Fox posted an apology. However, the irony is that she struggled to do so: her first attempt was removed for being too explicit. “I thought this guy was talking about getting his mascara stolen by some girl and then the girl like, lent it to her friend. As I read it…I was like ‘damn, like don’t catch a case, it’s just mascara’”, she explained.
“But it was, in fact, not just mascara. I have already apologised to this person but I just wanna apologise to everyone who has been a victim of you know what. I’m really sorry, I’m really showing my age right now”, Fox added.
This was a seemingly innocent mistake: on an app as fast-paced as TikTok, new code words are constantly emerging. Julia Fox isn’t the only one confused, either: there are tens of videos explaining what this code word means. But if users are confused about these terms – which aren’t always immediately obvious in meaning – are these rules and regulations a help or a hindrance? Arguably, the latter.
In a world where we all spend a lot of time online, staying safe has never been more important.
SARSAS is a specialist service for people affected by sexual violence across Bristol, BANES, Somerset, North Somerset and South Gloucestershire. As spokesperson Lisa Benjamin notes, the mascara trend is a way for survivors to dissect their emotions and reach out for support. “It shows how creative people can be when it comes to finding ways to process their experiences”, Benjamin says.
“It’s a positive sign that young people are able to identify when someone has done something to them that isn’t okay and feel able to talk about it, but it also highlights the scale of this issue”, Benjamin adds. “However, the flip side is that platforms like TikTok need to have strict censorship policies on abuse, predatory behaviour, and videos celebrating misogyny which cause sexual violence.”
Regulations are imperative in protecting consumers, but there’s an argument to be made that these are so restrictive that users are held back from holding nuanced discussions. Ness Cooper is a clinical sexologist and therapist, and she believes that TikTok censorship is making it difficult to give supportive information around sex and sexuality. It’s no wonder Julia Fox slipped up.
In fact, heavy censorship can generate false or misguided information. “Content using sex or sexuality-related words isn’t automatically harmful”, Cooper says. What’s more, the algorithm is flawed: whilst sex educators battle hefty regulations that constantly remove their content, creators that might actually pose harm aren’t always identified.
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Cooper acknowledges that ‘mascara’ is still in its youth: we don’t know where this movement will go next. “'Mascara' is still fairly new as an alternative word, and it’s likely to be popularised elsewhere as slang”, Cooper says.
“The issue is that whilst slang can help some communicate these challenges, it can isolate others. It can also cause issues in gaining access to education and information.” So, it’s imperative that RSE educators and assault support networks keep up to date on learning these current terms – more so than before – so that they can provide support.
With emerging terms like mascara, it isn’t always black and white. Sometimes, nuance is required. “One thing that can be helpful is not only asking survivors what words they personally prefer to use to discuss things, but also what those words mean to them. Code can have different meanings to different people”, Cooper explains. However, this can leave people vulnerable, raising the debate on whether survivors should be responsible for educating others on terminology.
According to a spokesperson at TikTok, the words “sex”, “sexual assault,” and “sexually assaulted” are not banned. The company describes itself as valuing authentic self-expression, and it is currently working towards creating an environment where users can both be safe and comfortable in sharing their experiences. It includes discussions from survivors of sexual assault in this vision.
Evidently, change is needed. Talking about sex and sexual assault in code words creates nothing but confusion. What sex educators and survivors alike need is the freedom to communicate these topics. The #mascaratrend has proved that survivors are finding solace in sharing their stories, but the fact that code words are even necessary feels somewhat infantilising.
If you need to access support after rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse or any form of sexual violence, you can access the following UK-based support services:
