Maisie Williams has detailed her traumatic relationship with her father during her childhood.
In a highly vulnerable and candid interview with Steven Bartlett on his Diary of a CEO Podcast, the 25-year-old spoke about her life before hitting the big time at age 12 on the hugely popular fantasy drama show, Game Of Thrones. The actress explained that her mental health issues and struggles with identity and anxiety stemmed from her early years in which she endured a distressing relationship with her father at home.
Breaking down into tears, Maisie explained that her troubles at home finally came out when a worried teacher took her to a staff room and began asking her "all the right questions".
"It's one of the purest loves I can think of"
"I had a traumatic relationship with my dad, and ever since I can remember, I have struggled sleeping," she explained. "When I was about eight, I was really struggling. It had met its peak, and when I was at school, I was taken by a teacher to the staff room. She asked me what had happened.
"She asked me if I ate breakfast. I said no, and asked if I did most mornings. I said no. They were asking the right questions. My mum came to school and picked me up. It was the first time that all of the doors were open, and it was the first time things were on the table."
Despite knowing deep down that things weren't normal at home, Maisie reflected: "I still wanted to fight and say these things aren't wrong, that you're just trying to take me away from my dad. I was indoctrinated in a way. I think that's why I'm obsessed with cults! My world flipped."
Even after her mother "escaped" her father, Maisie heartbreakingly admitted that she blamed herself for years over the situation. "I've known how that feels, and it's hugely influenced, I get to access all of that confusion and pain in my job and really feel it in every fibre of my being. It's all pretend, but the emotion is real. It all just came to the surface," she said.
Instagram content
"To be honest, I have been thinking about this a lot - it's not because of me that these bad things happened when I was a child. I thought it was. I thought there was something inherently wrong with me, that it could be anyone experiencing the pain."
Focusing on her father's behaviour, she noted: "It made me more interested in the guy. What could make you mistreat your own children? What happened to you as a kid? Did you pull the legs off bugs? Did you learn all this? That's how I feel about him now. He would make a fascinating documentary."
No need to risk a bleach-gone-wrong moment.
Maisie emotionally added: "I would look around at the other kids and look at the joy and would be like 'when does that come for me?' I had a sense of impending doom as a child and didn't know how to make it go away. I felt when I saw a kid that all my problems would go away, but then all my problems didn't go away."
"I feel now there is some sort of closure to it, where the journey may help other people whereas before it was just pain, pain and pain."
Maisie Williams, who played Arya Stark in the iconic show Game of Thrones, said she relied on meditation and therapy to get to the root of her problems.
Don't Worry Darling is in cinemas now.
