This article references baby loss.
IVF is by far the most common fertility treatment available for parents struggling to conceive, but it can be arduous and emotionally fraught – not to mention costly. Here, GLAMOUR speaks to Rosie, who received a partial refund after she and her partner's first IVF treatment program failed.
This is her story…
Rosie always knew she wanted to be a mum, but the right circumstances never seemed to materialise. That is, until she met Paul, her future husband, at age 37. A year later, they started trying for a baby.
After a few months of trying without success, Rosie and Paul started exploring more options. “We were both getting older, so we decided to look into IVF,” Rosie tells GLAMOUR.
IVF, or in vitro fertilization, is the technique that most people associate with fertility treatment. While success rates for IVF generally decrease as women get older, research from The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) indicates that more people are choosing to have IVF later on, with the average age for women having first-time treatments now over 35.
The research also determined that fewer people are choosing to have IVF on the NHS, with the proportion of IVF cycles funded by the NHS dropping from 40% in 2012 to 27% in 2022. There are complex reasons behind these figures. Clare Ettinghausen from HFEA described IVF in the NHS as a “postcode lottery” with “wide-ranging inequalities.”
For Rosie and Paul to receive IVF on the NHS, they must have been registered at the same NHS trust for at least a year. But Paul had only been registered at the same trust as Rosie for four months. “We just didn't want to wait for another eight or nine months before we could start treatment on the NHS,” says Rosie.
Instead, Rosie reached out to a private clinic who, after running some tests, determined that the couple would be suitable for IVF treatment. They were referred to Access Fertility, an IVF treatment provider, where they signed up for a three-cycle program. The treatment cost around £12,000 (excluding costs of drugs involved in treatment) and, devastatingly, was unsuccessful.
As part of the Access Fertility program, Rosie and Paul were entitled to a 50% refund. Rosie had doubts about requesting a refund. She tells GLAMOUR: “I expected it to be like, ‘How many hoops am I going to have to jump through? How many forms am I going to sign?’”
The parts of the country where some women are completely disadvantaged in their fertility options.
In reality, Rosie received her refund within days. “No quibbling, no lengthy process, no lengthy questionnaires or anything like that,” she reflects.
At this point, the IVF process had taken its toll on Rosie and Paul. “I think very naively, we went into it thinking, 'Oh, we'll have IVF, and we'll get pregnant just like that,'” says Rosie. She cites the media coverage of IVF, which tends to prioritise success stories rather than the day-to-day disappointment that many would-be parents must navigate.
The refund was a game-changer. “When we first signed up for the program, we obviously didn't want the refund back – we wanted the treatment to be successful," says Rosie. “But actually,” she continues, “it's not an insignificant amount of money.” When the refund, approximately £6000, came through, Rosie and Paul realised they wanted to spend it on one last package of IVF treatment.
As Rosie was now over 40, they no longer qualified for one of the refund programs. They used the money to start a two-cycle program, including additional frozen embryo transfers. Although Rosie didn't get pregnant during the first cycle, they had an additional embryo that they froze and transferred. At the end of 2022, Rosie became pregnant through the frozen embryo transfer. In January 2023, she experienced a miscarriage.
“I needed to be pregnant again so it was like no time had passed”
Although Rosie and Paul were entitled to one more cycle of IVF treatment under their program, they didn't know if they should use it. “I was exhausted,” says Rosie. “You can imagine the mental, physical, and emotional toll it took on both of us.
Ultimately, they decided they “might as well”, seeing as the cycle was already paid for. “We told ourselves, ‘This is definitely it. We are definitely done after this round’” Rosie reflects. “It was our best round ever.”
In the summer of 2023, the couple discovered that Rosie was pregnant. "We were incredibly excited but incredibly nervous, having had a miscarriage earlier in the year.
"We went for our viability scan, and all looked okay. We held our breath until the 12-week scan, and that went okay. We held our breath again at the 20-week scan, and that was all okay. I was probably 26 weeks pregnant before I relaxed enough to buy baby stuff.
“Esther arrived in February earlier this year.”
It took seven cycles of IVF treatment for Esther to be born. And Rosie is all too aware that not everyone gets such a happy ending. “I can't remember what life was like before I had her […] She's wonderful. We are incredibly fortunate, and we really do know how fortunate we are, given what we've gone through.”
While Rosie was undergoing treatment, she didn't know many others in the same situation. And the fact that she had to attend most appointments alone due to Coronavirus restrictions certainly didn't help. “But it turns out,” she says, "when you start talking about this, there's an awful lot of people out there who have had IVF or had miscarriages.
“One of the reasons I want to be quite vocal about IVF is that we are so lucky that we ended up having Esther. It took seven goes; it wasn't easy.”
“I had no idea something like Access Fertility existed before we started looking into IVF, and I suspect a lot of people don't. And whilst it's still a very expensive process, and we spent a lot of money, getting that refund back to us did help.”
Rosie bounces Esther on her lap. “You are very, very much loved, aren't you?” she says.
For information and support on baby loss, visit tommys.org.
