The meme of the Christmas Day fallout is a tale as old as time. You've probably experienced it yourself. You're settling down to Christmas dinner, or enjoying drinks around the TV after opening presents, and that one relative who shares those sketchy, far-right infographics on social media pipes up with a truly unhinged comment that shocks everyone into silence — shortly before arguments ensue.
When everyone has had a Bucks Fizz (or one, or two, or three…), things can escalate quickly, leading to tears, upset, and fallouts that can continue for days, months, or even years after.
Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood's latest asylum plans have been condemned by human rights groups (and anyone with a shred of decency).
As A Christmas Carol has taught us, Christmas is meant to be a time of togetherness, generosity and kindness — ‘goodwill to all men!’ and all that — but with such a tense year that's seen shootings, cruel politics, genocide and a rolling back of rights, we're feeling more divided than ever before. And while the onus is really on your relative not to be hateful, there are some steps you can take to de-escalate the situation, engage in productive conversation, and encourage some compassion for those who are seeking refuge and protection this winter and beyond.
“Start by focusing on the human story rather than the politics,” suggests Flora Alexander, the International Refugee Committee's UK Executive Director. "Remind family members that refugees are women, men and children with dreams, hopes and ambitions — they're teachers, doctors, parents, and students who've been forced to flee persecution and life-threatening situations. They don't make these dangerous journeys because they want to; they do so because they have no other choice.
"When we strip away the rhetoric and focus on individual human experiences, it becomes easier to see beyond often damaging and inaccurate stereotypes. It can help to ask questions that encourage perspective: “What would you do if our country became unsafe? Where would you go and why?”. This can help to highlight some of the main reasons people seek asylum in the UK, such as family ties, speaking English and professional connections,” she says. “It's also worth highlighting that the asylum application process is incredibly rigorous and can take years to complete.”
Below are some more talking points about refugees and how you can respond to family members who bring them up negatively around the table this Christmas.
If they say: “We can't just let everyone in”
This is a common talking point from the far-right. While the number of people crossing to the UK on small boats is increasing, the fact is that not everyone who wants to claim asylum here is, in fact, ‘allowed in’.
The UK has a stringent migration policy — one that's become even stricter this year after the Labour government enacted the largest overhaul of the system in 50 years. Those tight regulations have had a knock-on effect on those applying for asylum. According to the Refugee Committee, there has been a 34% decrease in granted protections in 2025 versus the previous year, with a total of 44,370 people given asylum status with their initial decisions, down from 67,533 in 2024.
So, we're not ‘just letting everyone in' in the UK at all. “In reality, less than 2% of the world's refugees come to the UK, and they make up less than 1% of the UK population,” shares Flora.
“It’s also often overlooked that 67% of refugees stay in the first country they reach, and nearly three quarters of all refugees live in low and middle-income countries; Iran, Turkiye and Colombia host the most overall, while Lebanon and Jordan have the highest proportion relative to their population," she says.
If they say: “Who pays for all of this? Shouldn't we take care of our own?”
The fact is that people seeking asylum receive very little in support from the UK government. They are banned from working and are provided with just £7 per day from the Government — barely enough for a matcha latte in most major cities — to cover the costs of their basic necessities, according to the Refugee Council. They're not allowed to work, so there's no chance of boosting their sense of self-worth, confidence and personal finances (as well as paying into the tax system) by contributing towards the local business community.
“Refugees and asylum seekers start businesses, pay taxes and contribute to local economies," says the International Refugee Committee. "The vast majority quickly aim to be self-sufficient and become productive members of their new communities.”
Asylum seekers who are successful in their applications for asylum status in the UK do go on to launch successful businesses — businesses that contribute to the tax system that pays for healthcare, school and housing. According to a report by Better Futures, an organisation that fosters the talents of entrepreneurial young refugees, one in seven new businesses in the UK are created by refugee founders.
The Lioness pens an exclusive essay for GLAMOUR.
Many of these business owners go on to support the local community in turn — around 35% of refugee-founded businesses go on to employ staff, with on average two to three employees per business, according to Refugee Entrepreneurship Network (REN).
In the media and online, it's often framed that refugees are a huge drain on the UK's resources, but it's never really highlighted how much people from around the world benefit us. “Studies have shown that properly supporting refugees and asylum seekers to rebuild their lives can actually cut down costs and help grow the economy,” shares Flora. "In fact, the UK economy could gain an estimated £333 million per year by allowing people seeking asylum to work whilst their claims are being processed. "
“We know from our work with refugees and people seeking asylum that they are incredibly eager to work. Our employment support service actually has a waiting list because demand is so high — people want to contribute, they just need the chance.”
If they say: “What if they're not really refugees, but just coming to cause trouble?"
While there are people with bad intentions in all groups in society, the likelihood of large groups of people going through years of bureaucracy and red tape during the application for asylum status — with the outcome often being rejection — just to ‘cause trouble’ isn't very likely, is it?
It's an extremely arduous process that can take months and even years, and even after all of that stress and upheaval, 53% of applications are refused at the initial application stage. “Refugees are vetted more intensely than any other group before they're allowed to enter," says the International Rescue Committee. "It can take years for the vetting process to be complete. The asylum process can similarly take years to conclude.”
If they say: “The number of people coming to the border is too high. Someone on TV called it an invasion”
Using words like 'invasion' or ‘swarm’ (as ex-Prime Minister David Cameron famously did during the Calais refugee crisis) acts to strip refugees of their humanity and personhood, and furthers the idea that many more people are seeking asylum than actually are.
As well as that, ‘invasion’ holds strong negative connotations — the Cambridge Dictionary literally describes it as ‘an occasion when an army or country uses force to enter and take control of another country’. This perception that refugees are ‘forcing’ their way into the UK and trying to ‘take control’ only furthers stigma and false representations.
If a family member brings this up, the International Refugee Committee recommends responding with something like: “I wish the news wouldn't use dehumanising language like ‘invasion’. Asylum seekers are people and families fleeing life-threatening situations. They have a legal right to seek protection.”
Christmas isn't just a time to enjoy presents and drinks out with friends — it's a great opportunity to remind each other about how everyone deserves to feel safe, protected and supported — and that includes refugees and immigrants.
Naturally, when we're experiencing a cost-of-living crisis and deepening inequality, people start pointing the finger at who they think is to blame. But too often, that blame lands on the shoulders of some of the most deprived people in society. “This rhetoric often emerges during times of economic uncertainty, when people are genuinely struggling with the cost of living, access to housing, and stretched public services,” agrees Flora. “It's easier to blame newcomers than to address the complex systemic issues that created these problems in the first place.”
But supporting ‘our own’ — i.e. British-born citizens — as well as refugees doesn't need to be mutually exclusive. In fact, they're complementary, says Flora: “Refugees contribute to the economy through the businesses they create, the taxes they pay, and the skills they bring. The question ‘Who pays for all this?’ assumes refugees are merely recipients of support, but the evidence shows they're contributors. When we invest in helping refugees rebuild their lives, we're investing in people who will, in turn, invest in their communities.”
With all of that in mind, we hope you're feeling better equipped for tackling those rage and anxiety-inducing conversations that inevitably crop up at this time of year. And if it comes to it, just block that conspiracy theory-sharing uncle on social media — it's not worth the headache.
You can learn more about how the International Refugee Committee are supporting refugees here.
