One of the downsides of a monogamous relationship no-one warns you about? Running low on fresh, fun foreplay ideas. Because when you know what the other loves and enjoys, why would you deviate from your regular routine?
But we can say, undoubtedly, that Cameron Diaz was wrong when she declared that foreplay was ‘overrated' in The Holiday. Because there is, arguably, no better way to (re)connect with your partner and get in the mood for penetrative play than a sequence of sensual speaking, touching and teasing.
Thankfully, we asked a host of sexual wellness experts to weigh in with their best pre-sex suggestions — everything from discussing your fantasies to mutual masturbation or experimenting with massage oil — that may help build the sexual tension and, simultaneously, level up your sexual encounters. And, for those with space to spare in their bedside tables, we've also shared some of our recommendations for the best sex toys for couples, massage candles and sex games to get you going. Enjoy!
SKIP TO: Meet the experts | 21 foreplay ideas to try in 2025.
- Dr Barbara Winter, licensed psychologist and clinical sexologist.
- Dr Claudia Six, clinical sexologist, couples counsellor and the author of Erotic Integrity: How to be True to Yourself Sexually.
- Dr Emily Morse, doctor of human sexuality and host of Sex With Emily.
Ahead, 21 fresh foreplay ideas to try in 2025:
Relationship fact: The early days of your romance tend to be the hottest and heaviest. But that doesn't mean you can't still capture that gotta-have-you-now passion. Use one of your early hookups as inspiration, and aim to re-create it, suggests clinical sexologist, Barbara Winter. This can start before sex — for example, going to the location of your first date or wearing the same clothes they tore off you at the beginning of your relationship.
Another hallmark of those hot early hookups is that they don't necessarily happen in the bedroom. If you want to make things more spontaneous, try initiating foreplay in the kitchen, office, garage, or anywhere else you don't typically do it. “It’s the unexpected that keeps things interesting,” says clinical sexologist, Claudia Six.
Tell your partner to get comfortable. Then kiss them — on the mouth, the cheeks, the forehead, the ears, the eyelids, the neck, hands, knees... Here's the catch: Your partner has to stay totally still. They can't move, or touch you, or try to kiss you back. The buildup and anticipation will have you both aching to get intimate.
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Dirty talk can be seriously effective at turning you both on. But if you're not sure where to start, the key is not to overthink it. Sometimes the most effective dirty talk can be as simple as just stating exactly what you want your partner to do to you.
The cold can amplify the sensations you're already feeling. One common — maybe even overused — foreplay tip is to suck on an ice cube before giving oral sex. But we'd also suggest running it over various other erogenous zones — like their neck or inner thigh.
To play with heat, try dripping warm wax on each other, or pre-loading with a warming lube. Just make sure to get your partner's permission first. Both should create, in Six's words, “a delicious shiver.”
Sometimes the best form of foreplay? Relaxing, because when your mind is on a thousand different things, it can be a challenge to really be present. Plus, any form of (consensual) touch is a great, non-verbal way to reconnect with your significant other.
Have your partner sit on the bed before putting on an anthem that always has you feeling yourself — may we suggest Sabrina Carpenter — and give them a lap dance. For some added excitement, have your partner start off fully dressed so you can personally remove their garments one by one.
Foreplay doesn't need to be limited to the bedroom. Whether it's sexy texts throughout the day or stolen kisses while you're doing errands, foreplay can (and should) start well before the main event.
If all your intimate encounters are starting to look eerily similar, one of the best foreplay tips is to switch things up. For example, if you always get down at night, trying initiating intimacy first thing in the morning. Normally leave the lights off? Try lighting candles instead, or make a new sex playlist.
Simple but effective, a ‘keen to try’ and ‘keen to skip’ list are a great way to brainstorm and set boundaries. “Discussing this can be arousing, but also lead to learning even more about your partner, and exploring something new that you might have never considered before,” details Morse.
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Content shot at One Hundred Shoreditch.
Before you cringe, remember there is a reason words of affirmation are a love language, and hearing what your partner likes about you is a huge turn-on.
Whether they admit it or not, everyone has a sexual fantasy. Have your partner write down 10 fantasies they have — anything from foot play to dressing up as Killing Eve's Villanelle and Eve — before throwing them in a hat and choosing one randomly to act out. Admittedly, this can feel a little cheesy at first, so to help you get past any awkwardness, experts recommend just trying to keep it up for 30 seconds. Even in that short amount of time, you might find yourselves getting swept up in your roles.
Sometimes almost kissing can be as tantalising as actually smooching. Get your faces close enough — either lying down side by side or with one of you on top — so that your mouths are almost touching but aren't. Instead, breathe in and out at opposite times, so you're ‘trading’ breaths. It's simple but deeply intimate.
Whether you're regular porn watchers or not, watching another couple enjoying different physical sensations and positions may inspire some new ideas. It may also prompt a conversation about your likes, dislikes and sexual fantasies to bank for later.
Looking to get off to something that empowers, pays fairly and is respectful? We've got you.
Sometimes we can learn a lot about how our partner likes to be touched by observing how they caress us. It's as simple as it sounds: Face each other, either sitting, standing or lying down. Decide on a leader, and then take turns, copying the other's moves. If their hand reaches to slip your top off, you do the same.
Have your partner lie on their back and proceed to play a little game of ‘Warmer’. Use your hands or your mouth to caress different parts of their body. While you're moving about, ask your partner how they're handling the temperature. Keep ‘getting warmer’ until they can't take it anymore and then switch roles.
Don't be afraid to let your partner know when they do something that you like. They'll likely appreciate the praise and direction, plus will be happy to come back to whatever gets you going in the future. Next time you're having a relaxed moment with your partner in private, start a conversation about what he or she likes during foreplay. Chances are, just talking about it might lead to more.
If the visual medium isn't your thing, audio porn may be another route to sensual escapism — and , like the above, inspire some new ideas.
Whether you’re into sexy stories, masturbation tutorials, or straight-up moaning.
“This is the perfect way to switch things up with your partner and bring back those first-date butterflies,” says Dr Emily Morse, doctor of human sexuality and host of Sex With Emily. Approach each other at a bar before coming up with a fun back story. Chat each other up as if it's the first time you're meeting. "This is a chance to let go and act out a fantasy you’ve always wanted to try, or simply feel it out in the moment," Morse adds. “You get the thrill of a 'one-night stand' without the hassle or infidelity.”
Next time you're on your way home, send your other half a flirty text. If you haven't sexted before, it can feel intimidating, so remember it's all about what makes you feel sexy. Maybe that's a photo, a poem, or a description of what you're going to do to your partner when you get home.
