Whether it’s economic, cultural, political or nonsensical TikTok trends, many different factors influence the way we meet, connect and date each other.
Needless to say, post-Covid dating trends have been a little weird. Meeting someone the old-fashioned way finally died a death, 'virtual dating' became a legit thing and with all the social distancing, casual sex was pretty much off the table - but the future is looking bright.
So as we look to the year ahead (with very eager anticipation), we have some confidence that we know what's coming for your dating life and we've called upon Relationship Guru and Script Consultant on Netflix’s Sex Education: Alix Fox, who’s been working with dating app Plenty of Fish on their latest annual dating trends report, to bring you the dating buzzwords you need to get on top of ahead of 2023.
“I’m getting major OnlyPlans vibes from this guy - this is the third time he’s rescheduled.”
Instagram feeds were thriving this summer, as post-lockdown plans exploded across our social calendars. With two years of socialising to catch up on, holidays, festivals and rescheduled weddings meant UK singles were more time-poor than ever. With 87% admitting to having all the intention to date, but no free time to commit, the OnlyPlans trend kicked off.
Alix says: “OnlyPlans-style behaviour can have a lot of different roots behind it. Sometimes, it’s genuinely a product of someone struggling to manage their hectic schedule, but unfortunately, dithering about locking a date in the diary can also be a sign that someone’s simply not that interested in you. They may be uncertain about whether they truly want to date anyone properly at all - aka ‘hesidating’, which Plenty Of Fish identified as a key trend in 2022 - or perhaps they selfishly like the ego boost of knowing you’ll eagerly say yes to any meet up they suggest. Of course, on occasion people have genuine reasons why they might need to rearrange a rendezvous, but if a love interest isn’t respecting you or your time, then respect yourself enough to no longer make yourself available to them, and move on. Don’t let an OnlyPlanner leave you a sad, disappointed LonelyPlanner!”
“Why don’t you just suggest cooking at yours or go to Wetherspoons for cheap drinks? Seriously, the Cost-of-Loving is hitting us all, she’ll understand.”
As though gas bills and petrol prices weren’t bad enough, the country’s looming recession is also expected to impact our love lives. Dubbed the Cost of Loving, the term arose from over half of singles stating that the rising cost of living is impacting how they plan their dates, with almost three quarters admitting to avoiding or cancelling plans with a potential love interest due to the cost of the date.
Alix says: “You don’t have to be spenny to make someone feel special, and getting yourself in debt for a date isn’t a healthy or sustainable way to begin a relationship. Try a romantic moonlit walk using an astronomy app to help you stargaze or raid the yellow-stickered reduced section of the supermarket to bag snacks for an indoor picnic.
Pro-tip: Stop trying to win your fights.
“Both honesty and financial responsibility are attractive traits, but many of us still find speaking openly about money awkward, so if saying ‘I can’t afford X date suggestion’ feels uncomfortable, try ‘I’m saving at the mo, so how about…?’ or ‘That’s not in my budget this time, but would you enjoy..?’”
“All he eats is fast food and red meat, and doesn’t care how bad it is for the earth. If he doesn’t start trying to change soon, I’m going to have to Eco-dump.”
Whether we like to admit it or not, we all have a certain partner criterion when dating. Whilst being family-orientated and having a sense of humour remain firm favourites, next year Brits may experience Eco-dumping. Value-driven connections have seen over a third of singles say a partner who cares about the environment is a key attribute for them, more than their physical appearance or their profession.
Alix says: “In dating terms, ‘eco-dumping’ is a super empowering act, whereby you bin someone (or potentially ‘recycle’ them into a friend!) because they’re not environmentally friendly enough to fit your ethos. Ideal dates for eco-cosiness? Foraging classes, bike rides, beach clean ups or seed bombing – see if your relationship lasts long enough to see your wild flowers bloom!
“I’m taking a leaf out of Kim Kardashian’s book… I need to 180-date to help me escape from my recent break-up.”
2022 really said “Death to Type on Paper”! Experts predict that un-typing behaviour is most likely to follow periods of romantic stress such as a messy break-up or divorce. Following heartbreak, singles are most likely to deviate from their usual type and find a rebound connection with a younger partner who brings much needed excitement and distraction.
Research shows almost two-thirds of singles have rebounded with a younger lover owing to the rise of 180-dating. Alix says: “After an exhausting break-up process, dominated by an all-too-grown-up sense of doom and gloom, it’s easy to see why someone would be tempted to ‘pull a datey-180’ and hook up with a wild new match full of revitalising, youthful energy and fresh ideas. We’ve seen this demonstrated lately by high profile celebs. 41-year-old Kim Kardashian had an uplifting fling with 28-year-old comedian Pete Davidson following her split from Kanye West. And after parting ways with her 47-year-old actor husband Jason Sudekis, 38-year-old Olivia Wilde has been enjoying a giddy romance with Harry Styles, who is ten years her junior.”
180 Dating can help people feel rejuvenated and re-energised after a tough time. It’s often about having lots of laughs and lots of fun – rediscovering hedonism, happiness and hotness, and feeling silly, spirited and sexy again instead of stale, serious and sad.”
“I am so over playing hard to get - from now on I’m Bae Realing and if they don’t like it then they can move along.”
According to Plenty of Fish’s research, the age of using unrealistic face filters and photo edits is over. Bae Realing means it’s time to be your unashamed self. Whilst over 69% confess to having used a photo filter when online dating in the past, a massive 74% of singles now feel comfortable enough to post real life, unfiltered pictures on their profile thanks to the rise in authentic social sharing and low-pressure dating.
Alix says: “It’s time to enter a Sincerer Era! Cutting to the chase about who you are and what you want can make chasing your dream date a lot easier, as you’re less likely to attract mismatches and time-wasters. Bae Realing reflects a broader backlash against photoshopping and fakery on social media, and the embracing of body positivity/neutrality, and the rejection of unobtainable beauty standards.”
“Well I thought there were red flags with Chris, but now I’ve started getting to know Adam, it’s making me think I made a mistake. I’m gonna go for it and Ekin-sU Turn to see if Chris still feels the same way.”
2022 became the year of second chances, with the nation’s favourite reality TV power couple proving time apart does indeed make the heart grow fonder. 70% of singles have experienced Ekin-sU Turning, being the most popular reason for returning to an old flame. Half of singles also stated the new relationship made them realise they made a mistake, and the history they had is what brought them back together.
Alix says: “Beware: you can only usually try Ekin-sU turning once, before your love interest will get turned off by your flighty ways and ability to have your head so easily turned by others…and turn you away for good. The Ekin-sU turn is not an uncommon move to pull after a 180 Date fling has come to an end, and people realise that their original relationship had more going for it than they first realised.”
Maddy Carty is the host of comedy podcast Mads World. Born out of a Premier League footballer catfishing experience, Mads World explores dating, relationships, feminism, sex & life in London. For tangible tips on dating moving into 2023, tune in to the latest episode of Mads World to hear her chat with Alix Fox
