The Men You Want To Be…
Your Boyfriend…
Robert Pattinson
He topped our 50 Sexiest Men 2010 list by a country mile, and we can’t think of anyone better to cuddle up on the sofa and watch that Twilight box set with than dreamy-eyed Edward Cullen himself – Robert Pattinson. So long as he doesn’t insist on showing up in our bedrooms uninvited (how does Bella put up with that? Creepy!) we reckon we’d get along just fine. Altogether now - swoon!
Your Dad...
Bill Murray
Just think – the celebrity friends, the ‘Dad’ jokes that are actually funny, the wads of cash to take you out on a shopping spree, the understanding, ‘You do what makes you happy, dear…’ attitude… The man was in Ghostbusters for crying out loud – what more could you ask for? Dear Bill Murray, will you adopt us?
Your Brother...
Penn Badgley
If he’s anywhere near as caring and considerate as his doe-eyed character Dan Humphries is in Gossip Girl, we’d be well up for Penn Badgley being our big bro. He never argues with his on-screen sister Jenny (played by rock chick Taylor Momson), walks her to school, gets her out of all sorts of scrapes, and has the hottest friends ever (helloooo Nate Archibald). Please be our brother, Penn!
Your Teacher...
Johnny Depp
Wise, knowledgeable, plenty to stare up at over an exercise book...Annnnnd suddenly geography gets very, very interesting! Picture the scene; you sitting at your desk, head in hand, peering over your text book as he dreamily reads out a passage about convectional rainfall, before you recite – clearly and perfectly – the answer to his question. He smiles, you smile. He turns around to write on the board, giving the entire class a good, clear glimpse of his….Yup, pretty sure we’d ace that class. Every time.
Your Boss…
Will Smith
We’re thinking circa Fresh Prince days – sliding down banisters, all-day pool parties, DJ sets from Jazzy Jeff at the office Christmas party, gumbo in the canteen, generous Bel Air-sized bonuses for hilarious behaviour and ‘Wear your MC Hammer trousers to work’ days. Sigh…
Your Holiday Romance…
Jude Law
We’re not sure we could hack a long-term relationship with Mr Smooth himself, but for kicking back on a white sandy beach with a couple of cocktails and a lovely pair of peepers to stare into for seven days, we reckon he’d be perfect. So long as we could give him and his brogues back afterwards... Well, after the traditional Lao union ceremony á la Sienna Miller, anyway.
Your Personal Trainer…
Kellan Lutz
Need encouragement to haul yourself to the gym in the morning? Not in our fantasy – Twilight’s Kellan Lutz is ready and waiting outside your door to whip you into tip-top shape before you can say ‘Edward Cullen who?’ No-one, it seems, has pecks like that to check out when you get bored of squats and press ups. Make sure you take him seriously though – as he reminded us last week, he’s no piece of meat!
Your Life Coach…
Ashton Kutcher
We don’t even have to dream about this one– Ashton’s already showered us with guy advice a-plenty. Here’s the great man himself on spotting a player when you see one: "After a few dates, ask yourself: Have I out with his friends? Do I know anything about him besides his last name? Do I even know his last name? If he's not bringing you into his world, it's not because he's shy. It's because - all together now - he's a player." Next up? How to bag a super star…We wish!
Your Doctor…
George Clooney
“Doctor, Doctor! We can’t find her pulse!” “You mean her heart skipped a beat when I walked in looking positively ravishing in my duck egg blue overalls that show off my pecks and my gorgeous brown eyes?” “Exactly, Doctor.” “Bring me a bin liner – stat. The only way we’re going to revive this patient is if I leave the room or cover myself up.” We probably wouldn’t survive an encounter with George Clooney in his legendary role as ER’s Dr Douglas Ross, but we think it would be well worth it.
Your Husband…
Orlando Bloom
If it’s possible to get any more jealous of stunning Aussie super model Miranda Kerr, then her super-hot, super-intelligent, super-awesome (need we go on?) new husband Orlando Bloom has certainly turned us green with envy. So long as we could persuade him to leave the elf costume in the attic, that is…And maybe the pirate one too…We wouldn’t want the neighbours to stare.
Your Gay Best Friend…
Perez Hilton
Everyone likes a good gossip, so who better to knock back the lattes with than the ultimate gossip queen himself, Perez Hilton? He’s as loyal as a Labrador if you’re his friend, but for your enemies? They better watch out – Perez’ sharp tongue, quick wit and ruthless investigation will drag up those guilty secrets faster than you can tweet ‘OMG’.
Your Uncle…
Robert Downey Jr
Coolest uncle ever award goes to? Erm – real life Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes, obviously! I don’t think we need to try too hard to sell Robert Downey JR as your favourite fantasy relative…
Your Grandad…
Sean Connery
... Unless of course your Granddad is Sean Connery. Not many people can boast being related to James Bond, Robin Hood, Indiana Jones’ dad, and Highlander’s Juan Sanchez. Just think of Christmas…
Your Friend With Benefits...
Justin Timberlake
Hilariously funny, a good listener, great at giving advice…He’s got all the qualities we need in a guy pal. But there is one gigantic, gaping hole of a problem in this symbiotic relationship – he’s also ridiculously handsome. We’re not sure we could stick to being ‘just good friends’ with JT…
Your Postman…
Peter Andre
Ok, so this one takes a little imagination. But whose face would you rather see in the morning handing you your daily bundle of good news (in our movie, bills don’t exist) than smiley, up-beat, Katie-free Aussie pop star Peter Andre? If only for that impromptu “Mysterious Girl” rendition on your neighbour’s front lawn…
Rex FeaturesYour Stylist…
Ed Westwick
There are very few men on this planet that can pull off the type of 50s ensembles Ed Westwick gets dolled up in to play the sly but effortlessly sexy Gossip Girl character Chuck Bass, and while we’re not all that keen on the scheming and the sleaze, we’d love to harness some of that natural style power for our own wardrobes.
Your Gig Buddy…
Russell Brand
Who better to catch a show with than the real-life Mr Aldous Snow himself? If he’s anything like his Get Him To The Greek character, we’re pretty sure we’d be in for a whale of a time with Russell – that’s if we can prize him away from Katy for the evening!
Your Dinner Date…
Jake Gyllenhaal
The scintillating conversation, the fascinating snippets of Hollywood gossip, the ever-intriguing behind-the-scenes stories on movies such as Jarhead, Brokeback Mountain and Donnie Darko (Just how do they make that rabbit so creepy?). And we haven’t even mentioned those eyes. Definitely worth sharing a cheese cake with. Well, some of it anyway...
Your Colleague…
Shia LaBeouf
Aside from the fact he’s great value for money (the best in Hollywood, so we’re told), we reckon we could use a quick-thinking, smart, and loyal guy not unlike Jacob Moores – the character Shia plays in his new flick Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps. Gives us something to stare at over the water cooler, anyhow…
Your Chauffeur…
Brad Pitt
What? We said this was our dream movie, and in our dream movie, we’d refuse to be driven anywhere at any time other than by Brad Pitt himself in a limo. We’d be awesome bosses too – take him out for dinner, to the movies, whatever. So long as he drives us to Sainsburys and back every Sunday, he may keep his job.
