Arts

Glamour’s Summer Blockbusters Guide

4 July 2014

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Just because it's hot and sunny, doesn't mean we've discounted 'date night'. In fact, with this plethora of big budget visual flair on offer, a trip to the cinema sounds more appealing than a Pimms

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
When? 17th July
Who? Gary Oldman, Jason Clarke, Andy Serkis
What? Anyone who caught the first installment in this ape-pocalypse reboot will know that it was one of the best films of 2011, making this one of the most anticipated of 2014. Taking place a decade on from Rise... Caesar, the genetically-modified monkey General, and his growing nation of clever apes are at war with the world’s last remaining humans, to determine who will emerge as Earth’s dominant species.
We predict: Explosive battle scenes and out-of-this-world CGI.
Rex Features
Transformers: Age of Extinction
When? 5th July
Who? Mark Walberg
What? Goodbye Shia ‘I’m not famous anymore’ LeBeouf and Megan ‘I’ve got the most appropriate surname ever’ Fox, and hello Marky Mark and the Clunky Bunch.
Wahlberg stars as a mechanic who unwittingly repairs clapped out old truck, Optimus Prime – and joins forces with the Autobots as they battle a Megatron incarnate and his army of robot drones. Yowzas.
We predict: Less thought-provoking narrative and more visceral delights; unrestrained action and pure spectacle.
Rex Features
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
When? 29th August
Who? Eva Green, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba, Joseph Gordon Le-FIT
What? The loooong-awaited sequel to the truly superb, film noir style-sexiness that was Sin City is finally here. Hurrah! We don’t know much, but we do know that it is pretty much guaranteed to be awesome. And that Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez have created a brand new storyline for Alba’s character, Nancy. From what we’ve seen teaser-wise, the stripper isn’t handling the death of her beloved Bruce Willis too well – and goes batsh*t crazy with a pair of scissors.
We Predict: Stripping, stylised violence and pillarbox red lipstick a’plenty. What’s not to love?
Marvel 2014
Guardians of the Galaxy
When? 31st July
Who? Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Benicio del Toro
What? The latest instalment from the truly spectacular Marvel Cinematic Universe – and seriously, do they ever get it wrong? This time, we join a pro-active force attempting to protect the universe from various cosmic and intergalactic threats before they get out of hand. Like of those from the villainous, Ronan. GAH!
We predict: That signature Marvel mélange of edge-of-your-seat action and hilarious dialogue – plus a soundtrack that reads like a mixtape of classic jams including David Bowie, the runaways and Marvin Gaye.

Warner Bros
Edge of Tomorrow
When? NOW
Who? Tom cruise and Emily blunt
What? A fast-talking coward of an officer finds himself caught in a time loop war with an alien race (the Mimics). Which he attempts to weasel his way out of, but luckily for us, he gets several chances to shed his wimpiness and become the hero. And he meets Blunt, a combat princess extraordinaire. Think Groundhog Day meets The Matrixmeets Alien.
We predict: Bourne Identity director Doug Liman bringing his talent for combining non-linear time sequence and rapid-fire action in a single, kick-ass package. Sci-fi doesn't get much better than this.
Jupiter Ascending
When? TBC
Who? Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Eddie Redmayne
What? The $150m sci-fi film from Matrixmasterminds The Wachowski Bros. Will this mark a return to form for the oh-so-clever storymakers? Well, in this tall tale, a destitute janitor (Kunis) meets an interplanetary warrior (Tatum) and finds out that she is a galactic princess, destined to finish the evil queen’s reign, and therefore intended for far nobler things than scrubbing U-bends.
We predict: If the bonkers trailer is anything to go by, we’re guaranteed a space epic with plenty of complex CGI work and intricate dialogue that will have you going ‘huh?’ ‘til the next playback.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
When? TBC
Who? Megan fox, Alan Ritchson, Johnny Knoxville
What? Four mutant warriors fight to save their city from an evil kingpin, with the help with beautiful, inquisitive sidekick, April. If you can get on board with a bunch of giant, jacked-up, roided-out turtles – trained by an old, man-sized rat – fighting to save humanity, then go nuts.
We predict: Heroes in a half shell. Turtle power!
The Equalizer
When? 26th September
Who? Denzil Washington and Chloe Grace Moretz
What? A former black ops commando – none other than he of smooth, velvety voice Mr. Washington – who faked his death for the quiet life in the suburbs, comes out of his retirement to rescue a young girl, finding himself face-to-face with Russian gangsters. Sooo, not an exact replica of the 80s TV show starring Edward Woodward, then?
We predict: Stellar acting from the ever-brilliant Chloe, and some pretty impressive, bad-ass moves from Denzil in the manner of Liam 'Taken' Neeson. We hope.

22 Jump Street
When? Now
Who? Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill
What? After tackling high school (twice), officers Schmidt and Jenko are in for more high jinx when they go deep undercover at a local college, searching for hot new drug WHY-FHY with the possibility, played deliciously OTT, that its supplier is Jenko’s new BFF.
**We predict:**21 Jump Streetwas the surprise hit of 2011, and the sequel promises much of the same, but funnier. Directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller – who are to comedy right now what Judd Apatow was in the mid-noughties – guarantee plenty of guffaws, -densely-packed one-liners and heartwarming bromance, but shrewdly packaged.
Sex Tape
When? 3rd September
Who? Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel
What? A married couple – keen to kick things up a notch in the bedroom – film themselves attempting pretty much every position in the Kamasutra in one marathon three-hour session, only to wake up and discover that their sex tape has gone walkabouts. Cue a frantic search with plenty of hilarity along the way.
We predict: Sex tapes are huge right now. And since Bad Teacher, we’ve become big, big fans of the witty repartee and undeniable chemistry ‘tween Diaz and Segel, so we’re expecting big, big things from this summer comedy. Think Date Nightwith jiggle balls on.
How To Train Your Dragon 2
When? July 4th
Who? Jay Baruchel, Cate Blanchett, Gerard Butler
What? Who doesn’t love How to Train Your Dragon? The House that Shrekbuilt is back with a sequel to the 2010 angry vikings/fire-breathing lizards hit, and five years on, Hiccup and Toothless discover hundreds of new wild dragons and the mysterious Dragon Rider, and find themselves at the centre of a battle to protect the peace.
We predict: It’s not just that Toothless is all kinds of cute, this kids flick has the heart of a very adult epic Icelandic saga: action, laughter, tears, tragedy and triumph. Yes, it's animated - but we can’t wait.
And now for something completely different…
Big budget action blockbusters and comic high jinx not your thing? Then get your popcorn fix and movie kicks with these summer indie stunners...

Night Moves
When? 29th August
Who? Jesse Eisenberg, Dakota Fanning, Peter Sarsgaard.
What? Environmentalists are typically thought of as simple, nature-loving folk, but these aren’t your run of the mill tree-huggers. They plot to blow up a hydroelectric dam, in fact. Because it is a symbol of the energy-sucking, resource-devouring industrial culture they despise. Right on.
We predict: Out-of-this-world acting, tense drama and increasing paranoia.
Rex Features
Venus in Fur
When? Now
Who? Emmanuelle Seigner and Mathieu Amalric
What? Roman Polanski’s French sadomasochistic masterpiece marks a smart adaptation of the erotic classic, following an actress’ attempts to convince a director that she's perfect for a role in his upcoming production. Eat your heart out, Fifty Shades of Grey– this is how it’s supposed to be done.
We predict: Class, all the way. And sex. And sexual politics a’plenty. Ooh la la, indeed.