Pick-Up Tricks: Revealed
Tired of meeting men who are less interested in you, more interested in playing games? Zero in on these pickup techniques and save your charms for the men who are looking for more than another notch on their bedpost.
iStockWe’re taking a look at the most commonly used plays popularised by stateside pickup artists like Neil Strauss, “Mystery,” and other members of the “seduction community.” And since these charmers often rate women out of 10, we decided we’d do the same to their lame plays: 10 for “maybe the poor guy genuinely has trouble talking to girls, give him a chance” down to 1 for “he’s not even worth your fake phone number.” Read on to level the playing field.
iStockThe play: “Peacocking,” or using ridiculous, accessory-laden get-ups to snag your attention. It does seem like some sort of rule that if a man walks into a party with a hat, some girl will take it off him. Which might be too bad for the guys that, you know, just like their hats. Katy, 24, admits that her now-boyfriend was once a “hat man” himself. “He had a lot of silly animal hats that he would wear to parties. I think girls probably found them endearing.”
The score: 4-7 (depending on the outrageousness of his props). It’s definitely a little try-hard, but we suppose it’s a bit more above the board than the more manipulative moves. Hopefully he can lose the flare if you actually take him up on that date.
iStockThe play: Working fast. Pickup artists often impose time constraints on themselves to “close the deal.” He’ll make sure to approach you within seconds of first making eye contact, in order to exude confidence. Exchanging flirty smiles from across the room just ain’t what it used to be.
The score: 9. Give the man a chance - it probably means he would have lost his nerve otherwise.
iStockThe play: Telling you out, not asking you out, like, “I know you want to meet me here again next week.” This seems to be part of the whole “caveman” pickup style (which also includes groping ladies without so much as a word, on the assumption that they’ll be so bowled over with lust they’ll just go with it). Alissa, 31, once had a would-be suitor tell her that he knew she wanted to hook up with him because he could “see it in her eyes.” She disagreed.
The score: 2. This is the height of arrogance. On the plus side, it’s an easy one to identify, and shouldn’t waste too much of your time.
iStockThe play: Striking up a “spontaneous” conversation like, “Did you see the fight outside?” Hint: there probably was no fight. It’s not directly sexual or even about either of you, so it’s meant to get your barriers down.
The score: 8. Disingenuous, yes, but not unforgivable. Let’s just see if he’s got anything more interesting to say for himself. Alternatively, have some fun and get him to call his own bluff...by asking him detailed questions about his fib.
iStockThe play: Asking you and your friends to resolve a bet or argument for him and his friends. After you answer his question, he just nods and leaves – the idea being that you’ll go chasing after him to find out what it was all about. Polly, 25, got this line in a bookstore, where a man approached her and said, “My friend bet me that I wouldn’t come up and talk to you.” Um, congratulations? Megan, 30, got another version of this classic with, “Do you think my best friend should move in with a girl he’s only known for two months?”
The score: 7. We’re all for ice breakers, but do they have to be so blatantly fabricated? You might want to let it slide if it turns into a decent conversation, but if he does the walking away trick, it’s probably not worth crossing a crowded dancefloor to go after him.
iStockThe play. He breaks out a gimmick, like palm reading, mind-reading games, or handwriting analysis. Did you think you were too old for magic tricks? This one sometimes works because it can attract a whole group of woman around the magic man, making him look like more of a stud.
The score: 5. Like peacocking, this is more embarrassing than offensive. Consider it your free entertainment for the night.
iStockThe play: He asks you what seems like a random question(“What do you think of volcanoes?”) without giving any hint as to where he’s going with it. Suddenly, you’re the one straining your brain to come up with a witty response, and he’s got the upper hand. Sarah, 23, was once drawn into conversation with the headscratcher, “Do you believe in reincarnation?” She couldn’t resist taking the bait, only to have him finish the conversation with, “I know what you were in your past life. A parking ticket, because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you!” Sarah says, “I laughed in his face but gave him points for being unique.”
The score: 8. The whole power dynamic obsession is a bit annoying, but a sparring of intellects could prove to be fun, as long as he actually joins in instead of making you do all the work.
iStockThe play: He’s got a weird name, and a weirder occupation (Dudemeister the mandolin collector? Cornelius, Master of the Forest?). Louise, 28, knew a man who would tell every woman he met that he was a kangaroo trainer. “It’s amazing how many people believed him,” she says. “It worked wonders as a conversation starter.”
The score: 1. A fake name is bad enough, but a man using this strategy probably has other memorised “material” up his sleeve, and ultimately may not be trustworthy.
iStockThe play: He challenges you to some friendly competition: dancing, trivia, table-tennis, card-house building, whatever. Amelia, 26, says she can’t help herself when a man suggests a contest. “My love of winning is just too strong. Plus, I’d rather flirt by showing my strengths than by pretending to be helpless or stupid.”
The score: 8. Who doesn’t like to show off how awesome she is? On the other hand, this could be a lot of work for impressing someone you’ve just met.
iStockThe play: He doesn’t bother asking your name, which will eventually put the onus on you to tell him yourself.
The score: 5. It’s definitely disrespectful (he’s the one chatting you up, remember?), but it is admittedly true that a “who’s who” Q&A session can be a real conversation killer. Let him off the hook for not asking right away, but don’t bother offering up the info later on if he never asks.
iStockThe play: You’re doing the talking, and he sounds like a parrot, repeating everything you say back to you. It’s supposed to subtly show that he’s listening to you...or something.
The score: 3. This technique is relatively harmless, but who wants to chat with someone who is such an unoriginal conversationalist? Try doing it back to him and see how far you can take it.
Rex FeaturesThe play: The “neg”: a backhanded compliment (or downright insult) intended to bring beautiful women down a peg, like “You have a really distinctive nose.” Translation: If your self-esteem is lowered enough, you might look twice at him. Stephanie, 21, finds that men often use pseudo-intellectual conversations as a negging opportunity. "This man was talking about the desire to conform and pointed at my hair, saying ‘You dye your hair because society tells you to.’ When I told him it wasn’t even dyed, he made it seem like I was lying to impress him. I left him at the bar.”
The score: 0. It’s disgusting enough that this move is meant to make you feel bad about yourself, but the theory behind it is that “really hot” girls will be intrigued, because they’re not used to being criticised. We’ve got news for you, boys: there isn’t a woman out there who hasn’t heard it before.
