New Year, New Man
If you've resolved that 2011 is the year to find a new guy, you've come to the right place. It's not always easy (or guaranteed!), but there are a lot of ways that you can increase your chances of finding Mr Right this year. Have your own tips? Share them - in the comments, on Facebook and on Twitter!
Rex FeaturesMake new friends
There’s nothing wrong with hanging out with your classic group of tried-and-true mates every Friday and Saturday night, but the chances that they’re going to introduce you to fanciable blokes that you haven’t already considered and rejected (or, uh, snogged) aren’t great. If you have the opportunity to socialise with a new crowd once in a while, take it – friends of friends are a great potential source of romance.
PA PhotosTake a risk
So there’s a guy you’ve been fancying for quite a while...but he’s failed to ask you out. We think that making the first move is totally terrifying, but being a shrinking violet is SO 2010. If he likes you, he’ll be thrilled if you suggest that the two of you go for a drink (or, you know, if you chuck a water bottle at him, ala Katy and Russell)...and even if he politely turns you down, it means that you can stop thinking about him and start thinking about someone else. Win-win, we think.
istockphotoAvoid game-players
Sometimes playing games can be lots of fun, but if you are looking for something a bit more serious this year, then it’s time to cut the chaff: a guy who’s playing hard-to-get is unlikely to become your boyfriend, no matter how much you think you like him.
Rex FeaturesDon't play games yourself
It goes both ways: if you want to get beyond the first few dates with a guy, forget the so-called rules: if you like him, return his texts and calls and try to make it easy for the two of you to see each other. If behaving like a normal, friendly person makes him think that you’re too keen, then he’s not for you (and he’s weird).
Rex FeaturesGo old-school
Take a break from obsessing over whether that cute guy you met on the bus has texted you or thinking about whether or not you should poke him on Facebook. If you meet someone who you like a little bit, cut the procrastination and make a solid plan to get together before anyone’s interest wanes.
Rex FeaturesDate like a New Yorker
New Yorkers are famous for their efficient approach to dating. For example? Don’t turn down a date because you’re not sure you want to devote a whole evening to a guy – agree to meet him for coffee and then make sure you have somewhere to go after an hour (including, if you feel like it, a date with someone else). If you like him (and vice versa) you can always make plans to meet again soon, but if it’s not great, it means that you’re not locked in for a tedious evening.
Rex FeaturesAccept invitations
It’s January. It’s cold. Your sofa is so warm and snuggly. A reluctance to get out and about at this time of year is understandable, but if you’re trying to meet new men, it’s important to take advantage of invitations that come your way...especially if they offer an opportunity to mingle with people you don’t know that well (e.g. the new friends that you’ve just made).
Rex FeaturesGo against type
Have a passion for geeks? Prefer the strong, silent type? Either way, now’s the time for you to go on a date with someone who doesn’t tick all of your pre-determined boxes. Broadening your concept of what Mr Right will be like will not only give you more guys to get to know, but will also help you to confirm what items on your list are absolute musts.
bigExpel your ex
Comparing any new romantic prospects to your ex is understandable – particularly if he ended your relationship. But thinking about him all the time is not going to help you to move on, so if you’re committed to clicking with someone new, it’s time to wash that man right out of your hair. And your Facebook feed. And your phone. And your diary. You’re still friends? Fair enough, but taking some distance from that friendship will help you to be clearer about your feelings for the new man in your life.
istockphotoChange your routine
We’re not saying that you should take the bus instead of the train to work because the bus may be brimming with eligible hotties (though never say never!). But mixing up your day-to-day grind – going for a walk at lunchtime instead of eating at your desk, or making a point to spend at least one school night out with friends instead of sitting at home in front of the television will make your life seem just a bit more dynamic. Which in turn may make your love life feel a bit more interesting, too.
rex featuresTalk to strangers
Yes, ignore your parents’ advice – if you want to meet new people, you have to talk to new people, so go on a limb and strike up a conversation with someone who catches your eye rather than just smiling and blushing. Someone has to take the first step – and even if the banter doesn’t last longer than five minutes, it will give your day a little lift...and remind you of the potential to meet nice people pretty much anywhere.
PA PhotosEnlist help
Let everyone – friends, colleagues, your mum – know that you are looking to meet someone. They will suggest some men who are totally wrong for you. But you only need one right one.
Rex FeaturesGet involved in charity work
A bit of do-gooding is always a good thing, but if it helps you to meet chaps who share your values...well, that’s a good thing, too.
Rex FeaturesGo online
If you haven’t tried online dating before, 2011 may be the year for you to give it a whirl. Not just for nerds, even if all you get from it is a series of hilarious stories to tell at parties, it will get you into the habit of non-committal dating...and that’s no bad thing.
istockphotoDitch Mr Wrong
You’re dating someone who is perfectly nice, but not perfect for you? Don’t feel that you have to hang around for ages because you don’t want to hurt his feelings: if it’s not right, it’s actually better for both of you to go your separate ways. If 2011 is about meeting someone right, then you’ve got to resolve to stop spending time with Mr Wrong...even if you hate to be single.
PA PhotosLearn something new
Ah, evening classes: you may not necessarily meet someone in your Italian/pottery/basketweaving class who is going to be the love of your life, but you may well make new friends who share your interest...and they, in turn, may lead you to someone dateable. Of course, the class you sign up for may make a difference: you’re going to meet more guys in a furniture-building course than, say, a jewellery-making one. But only do it if you’re really interested in furniture.
PA PhotosSay yes
What’s the worst thing that could happen if you decide to go for a coffee with that handsome stranger who falls on top of you when the bus stops suddenly? He could be weird. But then you’ll have a good story. Sometimes, it is about finding love in unexpected places...so make 2011 the year that you’ll say yes.
Rex FeaturesDon't stress
Remember that dating should be a pleasure – not a chore. So if all your best efforts to find a new man don’t seem to be turning up the right one, remember that it’s not worth fretting over. He’ll turn up eventually...and every bad date will help you to remember exactly what it is that you’re looking for.
istockphotoCheck your motivation
Now’s a good time to think about why you’re looking for a new guy – and what you want in a new relationship. Are you looking for long-term commitment? Someone to keep you warm through the chilly winter months? Or are you not sure what you’re looking for? There’s no right answer...but having it in mind will help you be clearer about what you’re looking for. And remember: just because the year has changed doesn’t mean that you’re compelled to date at all – being single in 2011 is going to be just like being single in 2010, which is to say: sometimes lonely, generally perfectly fine.
Rex FeaturesGive yourself a break
Going out every weekend with the specific goal of meeting Mr Right can be very exhausting. So if you are beginning to feel a bit fatigued by it all, remember to give yourself some time off - there’s no need to feel like you’re going to miss seeing the love of your life one weekend because you’d rather watch Sex And The City II again with your girlfriends while wearing a velour sweatsuit.
