Job application: Johnny Depp’s personal stylist
No, he may not have officially advertised the position, but we're pretty sure we're not alone in thinking that Johnny Depp, he of universally acknowledged acting and being-fairly-easy-on-the-eye greatness, could do with a style shake up.
Granted, there's nothing wrong with having a favourite look, and sticking to it, but we're just not sure* this one's working for the Depp anymore.
*We're being nice since this is a job application; but to make it clear, we are sure. Depp needs a new look.
But it's tricky breaking out of a style rut. Our favourite M&S cashmere sweater has recently broken the once-in-a-week wear rule (alright, alright, it's bordering on every other day territory) but in our defence, it's chilly in London and we're not being photographed every day.
So what's Depp to do? If he's unwilling to take a punt on hiring us (a mistake, if you ask us), we've got a few suggestions of how he could improve* on a few of his latest outfits.
*Sugar-coating again. Read: completely change.
What would you dress Johnny in? Let us knowon Twitter using #DressUpDepp. And Mr Depp, if you're readingthis, call us*.
*For styling advice. Or just for chats.
Rex FeaturesThe outfit: A double denim extravaganza for a Mortdecai press conference appearance in Tokyo, January 2015
What's wrong with it? Not one of his very worst crimes against fashion, Johnny's double denim ensemble is close to working, but it's got a Depp-tastic-twist*.
*It doesn't work.
The tones of the denim jacket (worn several sizes too big as is the JD standard) and the jeans (again, not the best-fitting cotton-twills we've ever seen) clash. The rich navy of the jacket jars with the washed-out plum black of the pants. He's also wearing an estimated 23,004 necklaces and scarves, way above the recommended daily allowance. And while we're impressed that he owns the world's first ever pair of shoes, he should probably protect those antiques at home, rather than showcasing them in public.
PA PhotosWhat he should have worn: Hands up if you’d like to see Depp in a well cut navy suit, skinny tie and excellent posture, a la Eddie Redmayne?
Rex FeaturesThe outfit: Low-key show appearance April ’14. Ripped flared jeans, a couple of scarves, a hat with a hole in and an oversized blazer.
What’s wrong with it? These clothes should never have been in the same room together, let alone been forced to try and cooperate into working together covering the body of a Depp-god. The jacket would be fine if teamed with trousers from the same family and selected at least two sizes (probably four) smaller. The hat is not only failing to function as a hat should and keep the wearer’s head protected from the elements, it looks shabby. And those jeans! Not since we wore our baggy boyfriend jeans slung low to a Take That concert in the 90s and had the hem ripped off by a stampede of 13-year-olds have we seen denim so badly abused.
Getty ImagesWhat he should have worn: If Depp wants to channel the off-duty vibe, a classic cut tee and fitted black trousers a la Beckham is a great look. And you see how he’s wearing the jacket in the correct size? Revolutionary!
Rex FeaturesThe outfit: Trousers, shirt and a leather jacket for an evening at a magazine bash
What’s wrong with it? It’s trousers, a shirt and a leather jacket, what can go wrong, right? Oh Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. Again our man’s dug into fashion’s historical archives and pulled out trousers owned by the Winston Churchill, a shirt owned by David Hasslehoff circa Knight Rider and a leather jacket brought at 50% off from Del Boy himself. Accessorised with a lilac scarf, natch.
PA PhotosWhat should he have worn? Depp’s a comfort over style kinda guy. We get it (you heard about the M&S jumper already), but we’d like to see him in modern comfy classics like Rob’s denim shirt and white tee mix, straight-leg jeans and suede bomber. We’ll even allow him to keep the battered old boots if it’ll make him happy.
