The Ab Fab guide to life: 11 (possibly ruinous) life lessons
Ab Fab returns to our screens this summer with the release of Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie , in which Patsy and Eddie are up to their old Bolly-swigging, chain-smoking tricks.
It's also inspired us to remember the many life lessons Ab Fab has taught us - some more ill-advised than others. We now know how to deliver the perfect putdown ("You little piece of dribble piss" is a perfect example), the importance of a logo and how a free glass of Bolly takes the edge off everything.
See 11 things Patsy and Eddie taught us, ahead of the film's release on 1 July:
Rex FeaturesLogos are everything
It was Patsy and Eddie who taught us that you're no one in fashion unless you're wearing something with 'Lacroix' across it. Same is still true today - just replace Lacroix with Vetements' DHL logo instead.
Rex FeaturesHow to deliver the ultimate putdown
Patsy and Eddie had the bitchy putdown down to an art form, starring Patsy's winning line, "She's so cold sweetie, I bet she has her periods in cubes." Burn...
AlamyFind your signature style
For Patsy this meant sexy skirt suits, a Beehive, red lipsticks and a cigarette in hand; for Eddie it meant Lacroix and more Lacroix in whatever mad shape she could find, and for Saffy, it meant chunky knitwear and a scrunchie, both of which would be deemed cool by today's irony-heavy hipsters.
AlamyWe found out what a celebrity stylist is
This one actually came via Bubble, Eddie's ditzy assistant, who helpfully explained why a celebrity stylish is necessary and what they do, "Stylist’? Oh I’m too rich and famous to ask for my own free clothes will you do it for me? Will you be my stylist?"
Rex FeaturesThe route to fashion success is hard
According to Patsy, there is a set formula to making it in fashion, which she imparted on the show. "Anyway, I just have to tell these tragic, little wannabes, do you know what I tell them? I say, darling, 'just stick your fingers down your throat, hack off your tits, keep taking the tablets and don’t come back until you’re looking like something!' Y’know?"
Rex FeaturesNever travel via public transport
Why would you get the tube when you can book a car? Budgets may be tighter than they were in the 90s glory days, but we still like to think of Patsy and Eddie sitting in the back of a posh cab drinking Bolly.
Rex FeaturesClean living is dull
Patsy and Eddie wouldn't have had nearly as much fun had they not been perpetually drunk on free champagne and cocktails. These two partied hard and definitely didn't know what juicing was.
AlamyLosing weight doesn't happen through fad diets
Truthfully, we have Saffy to thank for this. "All you've got to do is eat less and take a bit of exercise," she tells Eddie after she decided on another arbitrary diet fad.
Eddie doesn't buy it: "Sweetie, if it was that easy, everyone would be doing it,"
Rex FeaturesThe upper classes do not derserve worship
We give you one of our favourite pieces from the dialogue from the show:
Edina: "Who bloody needs 'em? Upper classes, who bloody needs 'em, sweetheart? They're all inbred anyway, aren't they?"
Patsy: "Yeah, just a talking neck! Most of them have done away with features altogether! They have to marry a bit of common every now and again to ensure bone development!"
AlamyNever trust a gynaecologist
It's as Patsy said, “I hate gynaecologists! A man who can look you in the vagina, but never in the eye!”
AlamyThe fashion world is full of hyperbole
"Fabulous darling" is a knowing jibe at the fashion world's tendency to make exaggerated statements about trends, designers and models to keep you interested (and also to help you forget that they said the same thing about another random trend last season).
