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The Traitors may be reality TV, but it's one of the most fantastical shows out there… right? I mean, it's set in a remote Scottish castle. It's a world where ravens deliver letters; where Claudia Winkleman wears jumpers that defy explanation; where people randomly decide to be Welsh!
But as wild as The Traitors premise may be, underneath all of the camp drama, there lies a kernel of truth — because the thing is, we are all scared of being betrayed — even if that betrayal doesn't come in a hooded green cloak.
With filming for the UK's much-anticipated celebrity version underway, there's never been a better time to take a good long look at what The Traitors really says about our own relationships.
What The Traitors does, is effectively catapult relationships to the highest stakes, then put them under the microscope. “The Traitors plays on our natural fear of betrayal by placing contestants in a high-stakes environment where trust is constantly tested,” explains Danny Zane, therapist and founder at North London Therapy. “Each player's every move is scrutinised, which shows how betrayal can shatter relationships in real life.”
Although we don't often find ourselves wondering if our friends are secretly plotting to murder us in our sleep, it is common to second-guess our friends' real intentions.
Watch the trailer now.
“Common trust issues in relationships include jealousy, insecurity, and fear of abandonment,” explains Zane. In The Traitors, players become more and more paranoid as the show goes on — as they see more and more examples of people who have successfully manipulated and lied, people become more and more wary. “We witness contestants becoming paranoid, second-guessing their relationships, which mirrors real-world trust issues where past experiences influence loyalty and faithfulness,” says Zane.
Nowhere was this pattern more evident than in the painful season 3 finale. After Frankie discovered that her Traitors bestie Charlotte was actually a traitor, she was heartbroken. When she told the remaining finalists, everyone was shocked. Even though they did end up believing Frankie, they became so paranoid, they ended up voting her out, too, at the last minute. “Trust is built over time, and when someone feels threatened, they tend to become more vigilant, seeking signs of disloyalty to protect themselves,” Zane says.
Although most of us won't ever find ourselves faced with a bestie who has secretly been “murdering” our other friends each night, many of us will encounter friends or partners throughout our lives who aren't entirely truthful — and as The Traitors shows us, each time it happens, we're bound to become more and more wary of our other relationships.
And, just as in The Traitors, we usually look for what we think are tell-tale signs of a “traitor.” After all, we all have a clear idea of what a traitorous person and what a faithful person looks like.
Give that casting director a raise.
“The Faithful archetype is defined by loyalty, honesty, and a strong moral compass, while the Traitor is manipulative, cunning, and strategic,” explains Zane. In turn, we tend to be more trusting of people who express “Faithful” traits — people who “tend to build trust and connection.” Meanwhile, we are less likely to trust those who embody the Traitor archetype — people who appear to be “seeking to deceive for personal gain or creating tension among their peers.” Of course, the truly traitorous are usually pretty good at hiding their ulterior motives.
Funnily enough, we can see this playing out in The Traitors, too — often, the players end up voting out people simply because they are behaving in an unusual way. The players continually look to people who seem to be “too smart” or “too thoughtful” or “too quiet” because they read this behaviour as unsafe — as something an archetypical Traitor might do. Of course, being smart or quiet doesn't necessarily mean you're planning on an epic betrayal. And so, in the show, the traitor hunts often take players in the wrong direction.
This can also happen in the real world — especially when we've been betrayed in the past. “In my experience, some people [in the real world] may ‘hunt’ for traitors by observing behaviours, looking for inconsistencies in their words and actions, or even through gossip,” says Zane. In other words, if we are already wary, we can fall into the trap of misinterpreting certain unique behaviours as untrustworthy simply because we are convinced that there must be a traitor in our midst.
So, what can The Traitors teach us about our own relationships and our own trust issues? Unfortunately, there's no key to reading other people. When we've been betrayed in the past, we're more likely to doubt others — even when they haven't given us any real reason to. When we all tune into the celebrity version of The Traitors, we'll have to remember that it is ultimately a lesson in the dangers (and inevitabilities) of paranoia.
Will this fill the Traitors-sized hole in our lives?
