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As Nicole Kidman herself would and has put it, we come to this place for magic. Magic — not clean girl propaganda.
Practical Magic 2 is finally coming — nearly three decades after the original 1998 cult classic first landed on our screens. That in itself is very magical. The first teaser trailer promises a nostalgia-fuelled return to the iconic world of the Owens sisters, Gillian (Kidman) and Sally (Sandra Bullock), witches doomed to lives of singledom thanks to a curse that results in the deaths of all of the men they happen to fall for.
It may have been almost 30 years since the original film introduced us to the Owens witches, but, aside from a glaring case of drab Netflix lighting, everything looks eerily familiar — there's the white coastal home, the midnight margaritas, the umbrellas on the roof, and, I'll say it, the poreless, wrinkle-free faces of our two leading ladies.
Of course, this is hardly the first time we've discussed the phenomenon of the seemingly ageless middle-aged Hollywood leading lady — but seeing pristine, wrinkle-free 50- and 60-something-year-old faces in this film feels particularly disappointing. I can't help but find myself wondering… is this really the middle-aged witch representation we deserve? Wouldn't it be wonderful if the Owens sisters had aged into bohemian, reclusive witchy — and I saw this in the most complimentary, respectful way possible — hags? Do we really need more (conventionally) hot witches?
She's like Miss Honey on steroids
This feels like a wasted opportunity for some great messy hag representation. As one X user pointed out, Kidman and Bullock are now the same age as Stockard Channing and Dianne Wiest were when they played their aunts in the original film — and back then, it seems middle-aged witches were allowed to let themselves look a little whacky, a little weird, a little witchy.
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This is not to say that Channing and Wiest weren't hot in the original film — far from it. In fact, there's something undeniably attractive about that frazzled, carefree witchy look. Those nests of hair, frizzing up after hours pouring over a bubbling cauldron. Those shapeless homemade kaftans are perfect for a spellcasting session. Those normal bodies, that definitely do indulge in a few too many midnight margs. And, of course, those very normal fine lines from simply living.
Perhaps it's worth exploring the history of the aesthetics of the witch. While we often think of the stereotypical wart-covered, hooked-nosed witch as “ugly," there's something empowering and feminine and refreshingly real about the classic witch look. After all, the coarse hair, the natural lines, the imperfect teeth — all are symbols of the witch's rejection of patriarchal society's rigid, sexist aesthetic rules. A symbol of her refusal to play the game of the male gaze. A symbol of her choice to live as a truly free woman.
Aunt Frances and Aunt Jet aren't the only frazzled witches to grace the screen. In 1993's Hocus Pocus, Bette Midler, Kathy Najimi and Sarah Jessica Parker as the Sanderson sisters embraced whacky, witchy style, complete with false teeth, bird-nest hairdos and billowing capes. Even Parker as the “hot” and “young” sister, deigned to look imperfect and messy. In 1998's Halloweentown, Debbie Reynolds draped herself in crimson robes and piled her grey hair in a witchy updo for her role as local witch Aggie Cromwell.
The reviews are in.
Then again, witches have been getting (conventionally) hotter for a while. Take the 1987 Witches of Eastwick, 1992's Death Becomes Her, 1998's Charmed or 1964's housewife witch in Bewitched.
It's hard to glean the same sense of empowerment from the increasing slew of “hot” witches. Are we really meant to believe a couple of flawless, clean girls are living their best witchy lives outside of the boundaries of society's rules? After all, the witch is something of a cultural feminist symbol— and if our witchy women are now abiding by the, frankly, sexist dictates of the male gaze, where does that leave the rest of us?
Perhaps it's time we finally retired the conventionally hot middle-aged witch and let our witches be free — not just to live the way they want to, but to step away from society's aesthetic rules, too. If even our witches can't do it, who can?
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