On a cold night in March 2021, people gathered on Clapham Common to mourn the loss of Sarah Everard, who was murdered by then-serving police officer Wayne Couzens. Several women who attended the vigil – including Patsy Stevenson and Dania Al-Obeid – were arrested under Covid-19 laws. The Met Police have since apologised to Patsy and Dania and paid “substantial” damages
A photo of Patsy being pinned down by two male officers became the enduring image of the vigil, prompting mass criticism of how the police handled the event. She has since used her platform to advocate for police reform – as well as speaking up about police officers ‘liking’ her on Tinder, causing her to feel “intimidated”.
In a statement, Patsy said, “It’s been a really tiring and difficult process, but it has felt important to push for some form of accountability and justice for myself and all women who attended the vigil to express our anger and grief over the murder of Sarah Everard by a serving Metropolitan Police officer.”
A spokesperson for the Metropolitan Police said, "A protracted legal dispute is not in the interests of any party, least of all the complainants who we recognise have already experienced significant distress as a result of this incident.
“The most appropriate decision, to minimise the ongoing impact on all involved, was to reach an agreed settlement.”
In an interview with The Guardian, Patsy described the Met's apology as “half-arsed”, adding, “Although they said they regretted that our mourning was interrupted, they’re not actually saying, ‘We’re sorry, we shouldn’t have arrested you.’”
“I don’t believe [the apology] marks any real change … The vigil itself should have been a moment where [the Met] decided to change things and hold themselves accountable.”
In the years since the vigil, there's barely been a week without a breaking news story about misogyny and rape culture within the police. One such story was about Patsy being “liked” on dating apps by serving police officers.
“I wanted to hang out with new people so was on Tinder. And it’s easier with Tinder Gold because you can just see who likes you,” she tells GLAMOUR.
To anyone unfamiliar, Tinder allows you to know who has ‘liked’ you if you like them in return. Once the ‘like’ is mutual, you can strike up conversation. Tinder Gold, a paid-for service, allows a you to see all the people who have ‘liked’ you without you having to ‘like’ them in return.
“I woke up one morning, went on Tinder, and realised there were so many officers. I thought, ‘what the f*ck?’"
Though none of the officers have actually spoken to Patsy via Tinder, the frequency of police appearing in the list of men who’d ‘liked’ her was uncanny: “They’re in chronological order. It was around 50, all in one segment, with maybe one or two other people in between.
“If it had been dispersed a bit more I could have thought it was a coincidence. And now I know that people can share profiles on Tinder, it doesn’t seem like an accident."
Patsy also encountered difficulties when reporting one of many online death threats. The case is ongoing, so more details cannot be shared, but a female officer has already been given feedback for improvement after handling the initial report, Patsy says, with an insensitive line of questioning.
Despite repeated negative experiences of the police, Patsy is not, “100% on the logistics” of the defund the police movement: “One of my best friends is a police officer, and I have to constantly message her saying: 'It’s not about you, I know you’re good’, but she was the one who told me to complain.”
What Patsy does want is for policing to change: “When you see war veterans who carry so much respect and honour, it should be like that. Policemen, though, f*cking hell. They’ve got a reputation within society for misogyny and racism.
“Imagine if teachers had a reputation for being peadophiles, you wouldn’t send your kids to school! And if there was a rumour about a teacher being a nonce, would you hire them? I wouldn’t, so why do we do that with police officers? It’s not hard!”
Priti Patel, the Home Secretary, has ordered an enquiry into the systemic failures that enabled Wayne Couzens to remain as a police officer for so long, and the Met police has ordered a review into culture and standards. Patsy wants the reviews to lead to accountability:
“26 of Wayne Couzens’ colleagues have committed sex crimes” she explains, citing statistics showing offending over a five year period.
“It’s in their force and they’re turning at every angle trying to distract us. They’re still not taking accountability. They do it because they want people to trust them, but that’s the sort of tactic a manipulative boyfriend uses”
“If they do the work and say they’ve f*cked up and they’re really sorry, then we’ve got a chance of trusting the police again.”
Because standing up against sexism is literally a matter of life and death.
