Nobody Wants This is back, bringing with it many relationship-related debates as well as goals, along with its sun-bleached LA location and gorgeous cast. The first season was a 2024 hit amongst millennials in particular, as we watched Noughties TV stars Kristen Bell and Adam Brody play a fated couple from opposite sides of the tracks – namely the world of a rabbi and the life of an agnostic sex podcaster.
For those who didn't immediately watch as soon as the new episodes dropped, the very beginning of the much-awaited second season sees protagonist couple Noah (Brody) and Joanne (Bell) throw a dinner party, with a mission of merging their friendship groups. It's made obvious from the outset that this is a huge milestone in their relationship, in order to make it legit, built to last.
As she is honoured as a 2025 Glamour Woman of the Year in the UK and the US, the Snow White and Evita star sits down with her friend, former costar, and legendary actor Helen Mirren.
In the opening scene of the episode we see Joanne and her sister Morgan (Justine Lupe) discussing Joanne's “perfect” new relationship on their podcast, with Morgan offering some more cynical analysis. “A relationship isn't solid until you're out of the honeymoon phase,” she says. “The real test is when you merge your lives and you blend your friends.”
In an interview with Nobody Wants This star Justine Lupe, we asked her about this storyline, specifically if merging friendship groups was a red, beige or green flag, and she referred to the concept as a “choose your own adventure” mission. “I understand people wanting to dip into their separate friendship groups, but I also think it’s great to combine and see how different people get along with different vibes of other people,” she added.
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Introducing your partner to your friends is a long-held milestone for a serious relationship. Will they pass the friend test? Will they build their own bonds with your friend's partners, leading to double date heaven? But, like anything that involves matchmaking and good chemistry, the success of this endeavour can definitely vary. The picture-perfect idea of your best pal having the exact same interests and taste in wine and food as your partner could happen, or it might not.
While watching this Nobody Wants This dinner party scene, the “merging friendship groups” scene felt to me like undue pressure. It made me uncomfortable. Not that it's not a lovely and important thing to do for some couples, but that it's seen as a pass or fail when it comes to whether your friendship groups mesh well. The question of Joanne's conversion to Judaism has been put on ice (for now, but not for long), so the couple's quest to build a serious relationship continues in the form of attempting to mix together their friends and family. Of course, this doesn't go to plan. In fact, the dinner is derailed not by any of the invitees, but Joanne and Noah's own lack of communication.
The mission also seemingly justifies being a bad friend to said pals you want to “merge with” on the night. When Joanne's friend Ryann (D'Arcy Carden) shows up heartbroken to the meal, for instance, instead of supporting her Joanne immediately reminds her she has “a lot riding” on the evening. It felt to me – a fan of the first season – as a really odd and disingenuous prioritisation.
Don't get me wrong. Seeing your pals bond with your partner over a pint and experiencing those two worlds collide is a lovely feeling, I’ve experienced it myself. But I also think that there are much more crucial markers of a successful relationship, and our friendship groups can look a variety of different ways when we are partnered up and still be valid.
So why are we so obsessed with merging our friendship groups? According to relationship therapist Madalaine Munro, it's part of our natural human instinct for connection and community. “When we merge friendship groups with a partner, it can feel like an extension of this innate need and a way of creating a shared world that creates a sense of belonging and unity,” she says. “In a partnership, this merging can reflect a compatibility that goes beyond the couple, encompassing their wider social circles. It can feel like a powerful affirmation of the relationship as though it’s supported and celebrated by a broader community.”
She adds that it can calm your nervous system, giving a sense of “safety and cohesion when our friends and our partner’s friends connect”.
But even though it can create a sense of peace to combine important relationships in your life, for me my friendships – which are mostly, but not exclusively, with women – feel sacrosanct, and at times separate from my romantic relationship. Their social compatibility with my partner is not my priority. The support, love and enduring with my friends – most of which outdate my relationship with my lovely boyfriend – remain important to me despite how many times we go for a pint all together. It feels good to have him enter that world, but I don't need him to be at the centre of it, or merge into it.
Madalaine adds that there can be other hazards, as well. “The pressure to merge friendship groups can also strain individual friendships," she says. “Friends may feel forced into connections they don’t naturally align with, leading to awkwardness or even tension.
“This can create a ripple effect, where the stress of trying to maintain harmony between groups impacts not only the romantic relationship but also the friendships themselves. Some friendships have different needs, for example more one to one time or different types of quality time.”
So my argument is this: let's have some flexibility when it comes to bringing friends and romantic partners together. Let's not make it a do-or-die situation for a relationship. Otherwise, you might end up missing out on something great, or putting too much strain on a precious friendship.
“The idea of merging friendship groups as a marker of success can set up rigid ideals for what a relationship ‘should’ look like,” Madalaine agrees. “Not all relationships thrive in the same way, and some couples may find that keeping their social circles separate works better for them. Holding onto these ideals can lead to unnecessary disappointment or feelings of failure.”
“Ultimately, the pressure to achieve a certain vision of relationship success can undermine the very stability and connection we’re striving for.”
