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If you're one of the 10% to 15% of women who have never had an orgasm, you may be curious about grounding, the masturbation technique that promises to help you get out of your head and into your body.
Simply put, grounding is a technique to help you feel a little more pleasure and maybe even enjoy multiple orgasms. “It’s a pleasure technique to try together or solo to help you reach orgasm or bask in the sexual energy post-climax,” says Samantha Marshall, head of brand at Smile Makers. “Sex is way more than physical stimulation, and grounding is a way to tap into our brain’s power and try some sensual mindfulness.”
We spoke to Marshall about grounding, how it can benefit you, and how to try it.
What are the benefits of grounding?
So, does grounding really … work? According to Marshall, it really does. However, it also has other benefits that go way beyond simply reaching orgasm.
For one thing, it can actually be a mindfulness technique that helps you rediscover your mind-body connection.
“One of the biggest factors contributing to the orgasm gap is not being able to focus during sexual experiences, be that because we feel the pressure to reach orgasm or because we’re distracted by other things going on in our lives,” she says. “Taking the time to be with ourselves is so rare nowadays, and just like meditation or mindfulness, focusing on the sensation can help us connect deeper with ourselves and block out distracting thoughts.”
Grounding can also be a great way to practice being in the moment. If you constantly find your mind racing to the future or lingering on the past, this technique may help you develop a habit of being present.
“The intention to connect with our body forces us to tune out and turn off what takes us out of a moment,” says Marshall. “Time slows down in the best kind of way. Grounding also eases us back into the world after an orgasmic high instead of immediately grabbing our phones (we’re guilty, too!).”
Grounding can also be a breathwork practice.
“We tend to hold our breath when anticipating something; the same thing can happen with pleasure,” she says.
“Grounding makes us aware of what our body needs, and taking some deep breaths can actually help us tune into the present moment (it’s like a pause for distractions) and also increase our orgasm potential. Our bodies need that oxygen to keep our genitals engorged as more blood flows to the region and the feel-good sensations build.”
Time to get 'cliterate'.
And, of course, there's the fact that grounding can be a great way to up your orgasm game.
“Many people swear by grounding to experience multiple orgasms — people with vulvas have a refractory period that is much shorter than those with a penis, meaning the body physiologically can become aroused and enjoy stimulation again very soon after orgasm,” Marshall says. “Stay connected after the first orgasm can help build arousal again soon after.”
How do you try grounding yourself?
Anyone can give grounding a try for themselves — and it's a surprisingly simple three-step process. Here is Marshall's guide to trying it yourself.
1. A body scan: If you're no stranger to yoga, then you might have already tried body scanning. The goal here is simple: tune in to your body. Start slowly, with the toes, and make your way up to the crown of your head. With each body part, give it the attention it deserves. You can do this alone or with a partner guiding you, building intimacy and providing a chance to really appreciate each other’s bodies.
2. Cup the vulva: Maintaining a broader touch after orgasm can soothe the sensations, keep the intimacy (just think of it like a vulva hug, a key source of our favourite love hormone, oxytocin), and build you up for more pleasure. To practice — use the palm of your hand or a vulval vibrator, like The Ballerina, to hold your vulva as the orgasmic sensations dissipate, breathing deep and slowly. Tune into what your body is feeling. After a few moments, try returning to sexual stimulation, partnered or solo, and notice any difference you might have sensitivity-wise. Or maybe even the potential for another orgasm!
3. Sense check: All five senses help you make more sense of yourself, the scenario, and your lover - not just touch! Making a conscious effort to recognise the different senses can keep you in the present sexperience. If you have access to all the senses, the 5,4,3,2,1 method can help you engage with your surroundings and alleviate worry or distraction. It's a simple and effective way to centre yourself and regain a sense of calm. Five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste. This can make for a fun and connecting game during partner play, too!
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