This article contains descriptions of male violence against women and girls.
Streams of cards and bunches of flowers have been laid on a Croydon street where a 15-year-old girl was killed on her way to school. On Wednesday morning, Elianne Andam was stabbed to death using a foot-long knife. A 17-year-old boy has been arrested and is being questioned by police. It's believed that the boy had been trying to give flowers to another girl, thought to be an ex-girlfriend, who rejected the reconciliation. When things escalated, Elianne, who was in her GCSE year, reportedly stepped in to intervene before the boy killed her with the knife.
In a statement, the family said: “Our hearts are broken by the senseless death of our daughter. Elianne was the light of our lives. She was bright and funny, with many friends who all adored her She was only 15, and had her whole life ahead of her, with hopes and dreams for the future.
“All those dreams have now been shattered. Our lives have fallen apart, along with that of our wider family.”
Local youth worker Anthony King met with Elianne's friends and family following her death. “This is the fourth or fifth time that I've had to look a parent in the eye and tell them their child has died. It's the worst day of my life and I can't imagine what that feeling is like [for them],” he told BBC Radio London. “The noises and screams I heard this morning will sit in my spirit indefinitely. Keep the family in your prayers and thoughts.”
In the aftermath of the heartbreaking incident, many have been quick to blame Mayor of London Sadiq Khan and the Metropolitan Police for not doing enough to stop knife crime in the capital which has been on the rise since 2019. In 2022-2023, there were 12,786 knife or sharp instrument offences in London, compared to 11,122 the previous year. Elianne is the 15th teenage victim of homicide in London this year.
But while knife crime undoubtedly remains a critical issue for our city, this points to a deeper systemic issue in society; an issue that means young boys think it's OK to attack young girls. When violence against women becomes so normalised, no amount of legislation is going to make a difference. We shouldn't need the police to stop boys from killing girls. We shouldn't need stop-and-search laws to ensure that a young girl makes it to school alive.
It is estimated that an average of three women are killed by men each week in the UK. Since records began in 2009, femicide in the UK has continued to rise. But isn't just a UK issue; the impact of misogyny – and the way it teaches men that they are entitled to and have ownership over women – is felt the world over. In May, a 16-year-old girl was killed in Delhi, India, by 20-year-old Sahil Khan for rejecting him in front of her friends and ending their relationship, according to police. Khan planned the murder for two days, using a knife he'd purchased two weeks prior, and followed the girl to a dark alley where he stabbed her over 30 times and bludgeoned her to death with a concrete slab. Apart from one passerby who tried (and failed) to intervene, CCTV footage shows several bystanders encountering the incident and doing nothing to stop him. A police informant happened on the teenager's body half an hour later.
“We shouldn't need the police to stop boys from killing girls. We shouldn't need stop-and-search laws to ensure that a young girl makes it to school alive.”
What is happening to a society in which children are dying for refusing the advances of men? How has the manosphere multiplied and become so maddened that young boys and men are being radicalised without intervention?
Women are often gaslit into thinking crimes such as this are unrelated to the rise in online incel culture, but considering the simultaneous advance of self-proclaimed misogynists who celebrate such violence, it's astonishing that anyone would think otherwise. Men like Andrew Tate and Laurence Fox advocate male supremacy and teach young men how to control and use women. This week, Fox – who has repeatedly posted racist and homophobic content, including an image of a swastika comprised of pride flags – was suspended from GB News after saying he “wouldn't shag” a female journalist after she spoke about the gender pay gap. Tate has been accused by four women of rape in the UK between 2013 and 2016, and in June, was charged with rape, human trafficking and forming an organised crime group to sexually exploit women in Romania. Tate – who once messaged one of his accusers saying ‘I love raping you’ – denies the allegations.
Despite this, the popularity of online misogynists continues to rise. Today, a YouGov survey of more than 1,100 children between the ages of 6 and 15 has revealed that 84% of boys aged 13 to 15 have heard of Tate, while 1 in 6 teenage boys still have a positive view of him. One is all it takes.
The fourth woman to accuse Tate of sexual violence shares her story.
As long as these men continue to have a platform that allows them to spew their hatred of women, young boys continue being taught that women are property to be owned by men, our lives disposable if we reject them. It's why women weren't surprised when men online leapt to the defence of Russell Brand, who was accused by four women of rape and sexual assault in a Channel 4 investigation this month, allegations which Brand denies. Slut-shaming and victim-blaming comments are inescapable online, despite the harrowing testimony from the women.
We also weren't surprised when recent footage showed fans of far-right incel influencer Nico ‘Sneako’ De Balinthazy shouting ‘f*ck the women!’ and ‘f*ck the gays!’, with one saying ‘all gays should die’. Sneako is known for his presence in the ‘red pill’ community which celebrates misogyny and is so named after The Matrix, referring to men ‘waking up’ to anti-feminist rhetoric.
“No no, wait wait, we love women, we love women,” Sneako responded to the boys in a clip which has been circulating on X (formerly Twitter). “We love women, but not like, transgenders,” a boy replied. “We love everybody,” Sneako laughed before looking at the camera and joking: “What have I done?”
Sneako later defended his fans' comments, saying: “They are children and obviously joking. This is how I was at 12. If it sounds egregious to you, blame the flags in their classrooms. Blame the media for emasculating men. Its YOUR fault for forcing an obvious agenda. Not these kids. BOYS WILL BE BOYS.”
Rape allegations are rare. You know what isn’t rare? Rape. Especially women being raped by men.
“Social media and online platforms now act as communities for many young boys, and is where they find that sense of belonging,” says Andrew Hampton, author of Working with Boys: Creating Cultures of Respect in Schools and founder of mental health initiative Girls on Board. “These platforms can act as amplification tools for hateful, misogynistic and toxic opinions. These young boys see that content, and in order to fit in with their social community, begin to adopt the very same views, themselves spreading hateful messages to women and girls online.”
The answer, according to Hampton, is education. “Though toxic and misogynistic views of masculinity often become dominant in Years 8, 9, 10 and older, it is before then that schools have to intervene,” he explains. "Lad-culture is learnt at school one way or another, and the way schools have been supporting teenage boys is not working. The teaching of issues such as consent, and respect, is not fit-for-purpose and is wholly inadequate.”
The sooner this educational overhaul happens, the better. We are in a crisis of male violence. News like that of Elianne Andam's tragic death proves that misogyny isn't harmless boys' ‘banter’. It feels almost redundant to have to write this, because it's something women have been shouting about for a long time. Our pleas to be listened to have fallen on deaf ears. Women and girls – children just trying to make it to school safely – are being murdered en masse. What will it take for the threat of incel culture to be taken seriously? How many more children have to die?
