Who would have thought that sending 19 beloved British personalities to a gothic castle in Scotland would be so damn fun? And so very watchable? The first season of Celebrity Traitors was nothing short of an absolute treat. From Alan Carr's profuse sweating to tittering over Celia Imrie's utterly iconic fart (there are some words I never thought I'd type), it's been a riot. But who won Celebrity Traitors?
In addition to all of the memeable moments through the series, there has been plenty of gripping gameplay, too. Let's remind ourselves of the roller coaster ride: the 19 celebs rocked up to the castle in cars only to be swiftly driven to a makeshift graveyard where they dug their own graves searching for the first six shields. Later, Jonathan Ross, Cat Burns and Alan Carr were selected as the three Traitors.
At Thursday's roundtable, Cat told Stephen Fry her ADHD and autism meant she found being around people all the time “exhausting”.
In an unusual twist, it took the Faithful celebs a very, very long time to hunt one of them down. In the meantime, countless Faithful were murdered or banished. Annoyingly, everyone was kind of onto Jonathan Ross thanks to the popular Big Dog theory — but he wasn't banished until last week.
After Alan murdered Celia Imrie in plain sight by quoting a few lines of Shakespeare at her (again, something never thought I'd type), the remaining group banished Kate Garraway. This left us with our five finalists: Traitors Alan Carr and Cat Burns, and Faithfuls David Olusoga, Joe Marler and Nick Mohammed.
In the final, players did not reveal their true identities when leaving the game, meaning the five remaining contestants were forced to make their final call on pure instinct.
So what happened in the final and who won Celebrity Traitors?
And more importantly can you stay there?
What happened in the Celebrity Traitors final?
In the penultimate episode, Joe Marler came up with yet another theory. But this time, he was right: he was convinced that Alan and Cat were the two Traitors in their midst and he sought out Nick and David to get them on side. (It didn't help when Alan burst out laughing while saying “I'm a Faithful” — let's face it, he was doomed.)
In the tense Celebrity Traitors finale, the group completed their sufficiently stressful escape room-esque train task before running through a lush green field to Claudia.
The tone quickly turned though, after the celebrities had to carry out their final banishments.
Nick and David made an alliance, agreeing to vote for Cat in an attempt to seal her fate. Meanwhile, though, Joe did an amazing job of flying undercover with the traitors by forming his own alliance with Cat and Alan and agreeing to vote for David.
Ultimately, however, when it came time to vote, while Cat and Alan voted for David as planned, Joe successfully pulled the rug out from under the traitors, with Joe voting for Cat too. Bravo on your poker face, sir. Immaculately executed on your part. But did Alan make it out alive and win it for the traitors?
At the end of the finale, the group gathered around the fire pit to cast their final judgement, with each of them voting to banish again in the belief that there were remaining traitors in their midst.
So who won Celebrity Traitors? Did Joe Marler's hunch pay off?
Who won Celebrity Traitors?
First up, meet our runners-up…
The runners-up
The sly, sneaky cat amongst the Big Dogs, Cat Burns slinked her way through the game, never breaking a sweat (like some people we know) and always playing it cool. Her only misstep was perhaps taking a little cat nap (sorry) on the window sill, leading eagle-eyed Stephen Fry to note that perhaps she was tired because she was spending her evenings murdering in the turret. Which, of course, she was. Although she successfully diverted attention by explaining that she gets tired because of her ADHD and autism (also true). Cat's game seemed to be going perfectly until the final moments when Joe began to suspect her and he ultimately sealed her fate, voting for her to leave along with David and Nick.
So close and yet so far! One of this season's most aggressive Traitor hunters was former rugby player Joe Marler. Desperate to find Traitors, he came to every Round Table in attack mode — and, on a few occasions, it almost proved to be his undoing. However, he made it to the finale and teamed up with Nick to take down the Traitors whom he rightly pinpointed as Alan and Cat. Ultimately, however, right at the last minute we had the twist that we did not see coming, with Alan, Nick and David all voting to banish Joe. Ouch. We felt that one.
The brains of the operation, David Olusoga came inches away from banishment when he and Mark found themselves in a tie. David squeaked through and, for some reason, was never really suspected again. Always suspicious, never certain, David found himself at a loss for most of the game — which is fair enough. And it saw him through to the finale, though sadly not to the bitter end.
Lovely Nick! The “wonder kid” of Ted Lasso was also the wonder kid of the Traitors castle. He can solve puzzles in seconds! And he's a man with a plan! Nick was always a few steps ahead of the other Faithfuls, thinking about how he could ally himself with a Traitor and get to the finale before throwing them under the bus. Which, in a way, is exactly what he did.
Our Celebrity Traitors winner
And just like that, we have our Celebrity Traitors winner! Well played, all. Ultimately, Alan, David and Nick all voted to end the game after banishing Joe, leaving Alan to scoop up the £87,500 prize pot for his chosen charity.
The unlikely killer Alan Carr didn't get off to a flying start as a Traitor. He was, as you may remember, a sweating, giggling mess. “Worse than Linda,” as he indelicately put it. However, before long he found himself slipping quite easily into the role. In fact, his first dastardly move saw him murdering his bestie Paloma Faith in plain sight. He went on to laugh off any suspicion and he giggled his way to the finale. Of course, when he giggled his way through the words “I'm a Faithful,” the others finally began to catch on.
And yet, in a twist seemingly too unexpected to be true, Alan sealed the deal for the traitors, leaving Nick and David in shock before breaking into tears and apologising profusely, saying “It's been tearing me apart”. What a hun.
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