Wondering what on earth cash-candid dating is? Bear with us, we're about to spill all…
Now, we know what you're thinking, another day, another dating trend - just let us live, right? And, to be honest, it felt like lots of straight women were ready to pack in dating altogether since we learned that women demanding higher standards from their partners were leaving men feeling more ‘single’ and ‘lonely’ than ever. I mean, we'd never wish loneliness upon anyone, but… come on?!
However, the latest dating trend is actually one we can get onboard with, because it's linked to something that has long been a taboo in relationships (and life), and just really doesn't need to be: money.
For some, even the mere idea of discussing money with someone you're dating induces a spine-tingling shudder, while others feel they have been unfairly judged for for opening up about the vulnerable topic, but there's no denying that being more open about our finances has many benefits. And new consumer researcher from women-first dating app Bumble proves just that.
The app did a deep-dive into the rise of ‘cash-candid’ dating, basically talking about your money situation, and how getting real about finances on a date is no longer being considered taboo in the same way. They found that far from keeping schtum about our bank balance (balance is a rather ironic word for it), some straight-talking Gen Z and millennials discussing their salary with a new flame almost straight away.
This openness about finances and dating has led to a rise in ‘low-key’ dates - a date with little to no costs involved, which ultimately leads to less financial pressure. We all know that feeling, saying yes to a date and then worrying about how dearly your share is going to cost you, especially as more and more women are keen to pay for themselves while dating.
Sounds like a pretty good formula to us.
But times are changing, because across the UK, 1 in 3 people (34%) aged 18-34 are now more likely to suggest a free date activity, such as a walk in the park or on a beach, than they were at the start of this year.
Bumble’s research, commissioned through YouGov, also found that nearly half (42%) of Gen-Z and Millennials would now prefer modest date locations to avoid any pressure or stress about money, and almost one in three (30%) people say it’s now more important to talk about finances with the person they are dating or in a relationship with than it was at the beginning of the year.
Honestly, it feels like a better conversation starter to us than “do you prefer your peanut butter smooth or crunchy?” - to which the obvious answer is clearly “whichever way I can get it in fastest.”
One in ten (11%) people say they would talk about salary on the first few dates, as it’s important to know these things about a potential partner, while only 6% of people say that they never talk about finances with someone they’re dating - suggesting that our attitudes around money as an early dating taboo is shifting.
A lot of the change is likely linked to the rising cost of living (soz to bring it up again), which has led many of us to feel concerned, or under pressure, around our finances, and those of others. In fact, 30% of people aged 18-34 were found to be conscious of their date’s budget when suggesting a venue for a date and one in five (21%) people aged 18-34 are more likely to set themselves a budget to spend on a date than they were at the beginning of the year.
And it's part-inspired by our very own Adele.
And the good news? We've had some of our best dates enjoying a beer and a sharing a packet of crisps in a park somewhere, or, as we learned in-between lockdowns, heading out on a walk with someone, proving that the cheapest dates are sometimes the best. Plus, let's face it, if the person you're on a date with is mind-numbingly boring or has a lot to say about crypto, it's unlikely that a super-fancy dinner or flashy cocktail bar is going to sweeten the pill.
The big question is, how do we get the conversation around money started? Well, you're in luck, because Alice Tapper, financial expert behind popular social media platform, Go Fund Yourself, has shared her top tips on how to approach conversations about money with your date.
“This new-found transparency about finances amongst young people has likely stemmed from the trying times they currently face with the cost of living crisis," she says. "Although this new trend of ‘cash-candid dating’ isn’t born from a very positive place, I do think it is a positive thing in itself, as it shows that people are choosing to date on their terms, and according to their budget”.
“Daters should feel comfortable talking about finances, because at the end of the day, not many people have unlimited financial resource to burn through on dates – so why not be more open about that? Not only this, but being more open about your budget can ultimately lead to a better dating experience, as you’ll feel less pressure to spend beyond your means”.
We agree, just tell us how to do it please…
Being 10 minutes into a three-course dinner and realising there is zero vibe is an expensive but avoidable situation. Save yourself the pain of having to think up an elaborate excuse in the loo (your mate suddenly contracting a tropical virus is not compelling…) and kick things off with a short and simple low-key date. A walk in the park on a sunny Saturday, a quick coffee. You get the idea. Bumble’s interest badges are a great way to find out more about what makes a person tick, so look out for these on your date’s profile and use as inspiration to suggest your low-key date activity.
A cultural shift has left heterosexual women wanting more from their relationships and, in turn, realising that men can’t always provide for them in the way they want.
It’s a controversial one, but in my view, nobody should be picking up the full tab unless they really, really want to. Times are tough and thankfully we’re moving beyond gendered expectations of who pays for what. Whilst paying can be a kind gesture, it often creates unhelpful expectations and pressure. On the first date in particular, there’s no shame in confidently asking ‘shall we split?’ In fact, research from Bumble shows a quarter (25%) of Gen Z and millennials believe that you should split date costs even if you and your date have different salaries.
So, how do you work out someone’s values when it comes to finances? Having open conversations about money and earning with your date - also known as ‘cash-candid dating’ according to Bumble, are good places to start. On a first date, you can kick things off with questions like ‘Is work important to you or a means to an end?’ Down the line, you might move on to bigger conversations like whether they prioritise saving and paying off debt. Remember, there are no right answers - it’s just about what your values are and whether they align.
Lastly, whilst we’ve all heard the advice that it’s important to find someone who has the same values as you, remember that financial values are a ‘thing’ to. We’re all guilty of making assessments about a date, but what someone earns is only half the story - whilst it’s ok to want financial stability, someone’s behaviours and values around money are more important than what they earn.
The TikTok trend has millions of views.
