Sex/Life's Sarah Shahi On Dating Her Co-Star Adam Demos IRL

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Hi everybody.

I'm Sarah Shahi and this is my Glamour unfiltered video.

The success of the show, and you know,

why people have sort of really gravitated towards it,

it's because it takes a real raw look at sexuality.

We're making a show about this woman

who is in the midst of an identity crisis,

and she's a fantastic mother and she's got a great life,

but there's something missing.

There's something that's just not enough.

And I think it's a,

it's a common thing that a lot of people can relate to.

Women, you know, like oral and women, you know,

like to be fondled. And this is what it is.

And this is what we expect of our partners.

This is what we want.

Yeah, myself, I've definitely been knocked down

a few times by things.

And you know,

it just really makes you wonder about who you are,

what you want to put out into the world.

Especially as women,

I feel like we have these stereotypes

that are put on us.

By certain age, we've got to get married

and we have to have kids.

And once that happens,

you have to dress a certain way

and you have to act a certain way.

You know, you're not supposed to want sex

the way you used to have it.

You know, it's supposed to be

this much more tame version of your life

that you're supposed to enter.

But those things don't go away,

and those things still shape who we are.

For me, I couldn't ignore it anymore.

I just wanted something so much more

than what was in front of me.

And, you know, there was a,

there was a big freedom that happened when I turned 40.

And I was just like, here I am, the good, the bad,

the ugly, the insecure.

I'm not going to make apologies for it.

And I'm going to put it out there.

And I wouldn't trade that moment

for any part of my thirties, any part of my twenties.

It's a privilege to grow older

and it's a privilege to carry wisdom with you.

And one of the things I've always said is, you know,

I don't claim to know much,

but I do know more than I did last year.

One of the things that Billy, the character I play,

does so boldly, is she constantly is questioning,

where did that other girl go?

You know? Cause she still feels it.

She feels it's so much. And it's a very natural cycle.

I think that couples in relationships

and long-term relationships get to

is they become compliant and they ignore each other.

And you know,

it's like other priorities take over.

I feel like through life, we have people, you know,

that influence us

and they tell us their opinions or they judge us or,

You should be happy. You've got everything you want.

You have, you know, a providing husband

or you have a providing wife

or you have the white picket fence

or whatever it is, you know?

But Billy is so brave.

And she really encouraged me to live my life, you know,

boldly to the fullest because she's saying I have it,

but I'm missing something.

And it's against what her friends think, you know,

it's against of what society is telling her to do,

but she cannot ignore her soul.

She cannot ignore that flame inside.

I've had sexist remarks being made to me

by various showrunners in my past.

I don't consider myself a victim by any means.

I think we have a choice.

We have a choice in how we can respond to things.

There are so many different ways to be a feminist

and a feminist can have lots

of different meanings, actually.

It can be so big or so trivial to some people,

depending on their own personal definitions of it.

You have to find out what that means for you.

Not what society tells you a feminist is,

what is a feminist for you?

The Brad scenes, mostly we're all in flashback.

So we had to shoot me in a way that was very complimentary

and with the Cooper stuff, I really just wanted to be me.

And, you know, there are scenes

where you can see my stomach doesn't look a hundred percent.

It doesn't look great and I'm proud of it.

You know, it's like,

I never quite realized the power of my body

until I had children, until I breastfed all my children.

Now I'm, I'm proud.

I'm supremely proud of every stretch mark or curve

or bump or whatever it is, I earned those.

For me, it just goes back to, to be loved

so wholly you know, and by wholly, I mean,

W H O L E that kind of, you know, whole,

to be loved so completely, you know,

it makes me feel amazing.

And I, I truly do, I wear him on my sleeve

and I'm proud of it.

But for myself and my own journey, you know, it's like,

I really had to get to know myself.

I really had to get to know the good parts of me,

the bad parts of me.

That's the thing it's like, no, one's perfect.

You know, the idea that we should be perfect,

or the idea that we should forget about our insecurities,

I think, is kind of insane

because it's human to question things.

It's human that life is going

to throw different situations and new circumstances at us.

But if we don't dive into those darkness's,

if we don't take a true look at who we are

and what those unlikeable qualities are, we won't grow.

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