Ashley Graham On Motherhood & Changing The Body Positivity Conversation | GLAMOUR Unfiltered

Hi, I'm Ashley Graham

and this is my Glamour Unfiltered.

[relaxing music]

What's still so frustrating about the conversations

that we're having today,

that I was still having 20 years ago when I started

was, How do you feel confident in your body?

How do you dress for your body?

And it's the label conversation.

It's all about how I look and how I feel.

You know, just because I am a size US 16,

and just because I'm over 200 pounds

and just because I am in luxury a lot,

doesn't mean that I need to have this constant conversation

about what it takes to feel so confident within myself.

Just because I'm a big girl doesn't mean that I need to have

this constant confidence conversation.

Like to me, it's so mind blowing, like,

why are we not asking thinner women,

what does it take for you to be confident as well

because I think that it's not just about the exterior.

Sometimes it's about the interior.

[upbeat music]

Labels, labels, labels, labels, labels.

Everybody wants to talk about labels

and it sucks because we live in a generation

where there's a label smacked on literally anything

and anyone and I think that we need to get over it.

I don't wanna be personally labeled

because of a number inside of my pants.

I don't think that men are labeled based off

of a number inside of their pants and this is just,

you know, from my own experience,

something that I have found to be divisive in so many ways.

So I think we get rid of the labels.

We treat people as the way that they wanna be treated

and that's it, sounds so simple,

but yet it is so hard for some people to understand.

[upbeat music]

I do a lot of prayer.

I do a lot of speaking out loud to myself.

Affirmations are a big deal for me

and a lot of times I record them into my phone

and I repeat them over and over again,

so that when I'm getting ready in the morning,

it's not like I have to spend an extra 10 minutes

on affirmations, I'm actually listening to it,

my own voice on my phone.

So it's like I'm programming myself.

You create the world that you wanna live in

and it's very important that you put the effort

into manifesting what it is you want

and I think that it's easy for people

to say the word manifest,

and it's easy for words to say affirmations,

but if you're not putting in the work

and you're not doing a daily deed to create that world,

then you're not actually going to feel hopeful

for the future.

[upbeat music]

Everything changes when you have a child.

I'm always thinking of creative ways to be better for my son

and making smart choices has been very important.

I want my child to live in a beautiful, clean world.

It's the same when you're speaking about

the fashion industry.

When you're talking about sustainability, you know,

it's all about everybody doing their part

and putting one foot in front of the other

and making sure that we're creating a huge impact

to create change.

[upbeat music]

Self-doubt has been something that I feel like everybody

has had to deal with in such a big way

and I've had imposter syndrome.

I've also felt as though is what I'm doing

even making a change or, you know,

am I making a big enough effort

and I think that things that are supposed to change

and things that are supposed to stick,

those are the things that sometimes take a while

and slow and steady wins the race.

[upbeat music]

A good place I started when I wanted to find resilience

in myself and where I did find it was when I first moved

to New York and I wanted to quit.

I had been bombarded with an industry that kept telling me

you're not good enough, you're not skinny enough.

You're not big enough.

I wanted to give up.

I told my mom, that's it, I'm coming back to Nebraska

and she told me,

No, Ashley, your body is going to change someone's life.

[upbeat music]

Filters, face tune, the high-end Photoshop, I hate it.

I hate it so much because I think back to the younger me,

who, if there was social media around,

when I was 15 years old,

I would have been crying

and I would have been so upset that I had so much cellulite

and my favorite celebrity didn't.

There's a big confidence issue that's happening now

and I think a lot of it has to do with Photoshopping filters

and morphing yourself into something

that you're definitely not

and I think that it's so important that if you have

a platform that you talk about those struggles that you had

and that you still have,

because there's somebody who's going through that,

that you're gonna change their life

by just telling your story.

[upbeat music]

One of the biggest experiences and aha moments I had

in season two of Pretty Big Deal was with Demi Lovato

and she told me the word body positivity

is not one that she can actually relate to.

What she can relate to is body acceptance.

I was like, Can you please explain?

She said, Ashley, I can't get out of bed

and say like thick thighs, you're so beautiful.

She was like,

Because I don't feel that my thick thighs

are so beautiful.

but what she can say is thick thighs,

you are strong today and you're getting me out of bed.

Thank you and so it's just those little bit of shifts

in your language to not make it a lie to yourself,

but to make it an encouragement to yourself,

to shift your thinking.

[upbeat music]

The most important thing to remember

walking into our new normal and walking out of a pandemic

and you know, maybe you're stepping into a new body

is to remember that you're not alone,

that your body is strong, that your body is your body.

If you don't have body positivity within yourself,

maybe think about it from body acceptance

and remember that this is your one body

that you've been given.

Treat it well, speak to it kindly

and remember that the younger people that are around you

are watching and I think for parents,

it's really important for you to remember that your children

are watching how you treat and talk to your body

and that's exactly how they're gonna treat

and talk to their bodies.

So just keep that in mind, no pressure.

[upbeat music]