We tried vagina beauty products and here's our honest opinion
Is your vagina looking a bit lacklustre? Maybe it's calling out for a serious spruce up? No it isn't. And I can say with utmost certainty that your vagina is looking ok as it is. Great, even.
And yet, as we embrace our pubic hair, stop apologising for our periods and start celebrating our general womanhood, there are a throng of brands emerging with products aimed specifically at the upkeep of our vaginas. Eye roll.
After my initial frustration and irritation subsided, I started to wonder if I'd been too quick to judge and whether there were any pros to incorporating such products into a self-care regime.
So, we tried them. And here's what we thought...
VV Beauty Sheet, £2.50, The Perfect V
Despite reducing our vaginas to a single letter (couldn't cope with the full name?), The Perfect V offers a range of high-end skincare claiming to 'rejuvenate, enhance and beautify the V". Ahem. Despite its distinctly un-woke branding, the formulas themselves are surprisingly inoffensive. They're all dermatologically and gynecologically tested, pH balanced and free from parabens and fragrance. These sheets are essentially vagina-friendly cleansing wipes and there's no denying they're great for festivals. They don't irritate and make a far better alternative to using makeup removing wipes (don't even think about it!).
Shades Of V Very V Luminizer, £39, The Perfect V
Another offering is this highlighting cream designed to "add some prettiness to the bikini area". But the cream is balmy and soothing and shouldn't be reduced to this description. In fact, it doesn't really highlight at all. It calms shaving rash and keeps skin moisturised - but at £39, you and your vagina can probably do without it.
Freshness Deodorant, £2.65, FemFresh
The real OG of feminine hygiene, FemFresh has expanded its range of products from the perfunctory wash to wipes, powders and deodorants. This Freshness Deodorant is pH balanced, dermatologically and gynecologically tested and claims to provide 24-hour protection (in case you have a very sweaty crotch?). While it didn't do any harm, we didn't notice any noticeable difference when using it.
Intimate Care Bio-Cellulose Sheet Mask, £55 for 5, Janna
This is a sheet mask for your vagina. Yes, really - it exists. Upon opening the pink sachet, the bio-cellulose mask was dripping with highly-scented serum - not a great first impression. It's also hard to keep in place and recommends 20-minutes of wear, which is a big ask when spread-eagled on a towel. A very slight burning sensation at the 10-minute mark brought the experiment to an abrupt finish. Just no.
Soothe & Smooth Shave Gel, £8.99, SASS
Ok, now this is something we can get on board with. A non-foaming (so no abrasive sodium lauryl sulphate), pH balanced, dermatologist and gynecologist approved, vegan-friendly shave gel that helps to prevent ingrown hairs thanks to soothing and protecting ingredients. The clear formula means you can actually see what you're doing, and while it does contain perfume, it didn't irritate in the slightest. Sold.
