Movie & TV Bitches: the 20 all-time best
Movie and TV bitches are always best, because, frankly, life would be too boring without them. From withering putdowns to razor sharp one-liners, we run down our absolute favourite - and the very baddest - bitches from the big and small screen.
Rex FeaturesWho? Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada
She said what? “By all means move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me.”
With hair that looked like carefully-whipped ice, Runway Editor Miranda Priestly is one of celluloid's baddest bitches. Curt, yet oh-so-softly-spoken, with a killer tailored wardrobe to boot, the audience feared her as much as Andy and the rest of her staff did on screen!
Rex FeaturesWho? Julie Cooper from The O.C.
She said what? “Oh honey, I thought you were going to wear your hair down. Pulled back like that, it's a little harsh on your angles.”
Julie Cooper makes the list for more than once standing in the way of true love; regularly telling her daughter Marissa that Ryan wasn't good enough even though theirs was the teen TV romance of the mid-Noughties. Oh, and she married Caleb Nichol, but not before having an affair with her daughter's ex-boyfriend. That said, like many a screen bitch she then went on to win our hearts with seriously pithy one liners, and fighting tooth and nail to get justice for her daughter.
Rex FeaturesWho? Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl
She said what? “Chuck will soon realize that it doesn’t matter if the dress is couture if the girl is off the rack. And as with all things that don’t fit, you’ll be sent back to where you came from.”
Even though Blair had more than a few withering put-downs in her six-series reign, she did, deep-down, have a heart of gold. In the meantime though, she ruled the school with her acidic tongue before becoming a badass fashion mogul.
Rex FeaturesWho? Alexis Carrington from Dynasty
She said what? “Oh God are you still here? I thought you were just a temporary infestation.”
Banishment, revenge, plotting, abduction and deathbed nuptials, Alexis Carrington has gone down in TV history as the bitchiest, most badass of them all.
Rex FeaturesWho? Ruth DeWitt Bukater from Titanic
She said what? “Will the lifeboats be seated according to class? I hope they're not too crowded.”
Not an obvious choice, Ruth DeWitt Bukater was pretty dreadful. Prepared to marry off her only child to a really nasty man just to keep her social standing, she then went on to be utterly foul to Jack Dawson – who saved her daughter’s life, no less!
N.B. Nobody is mean to Leo on our watch and gets away with it.
Rex FeaturesWho? Kathryn Merteuil from Cruel Intentions
She said what? “I don't fuck losers.”
This one is bad to the bone. From trying to ruin a girl's reputation, to multiple attempts at trying to seduce her own step-brother, to very nearly completely ruining his first shot at true love which then goes on to eventually kill him, sex-mad and psychotic, Kathryn from Cruel Intentions almost takes the crown in this list.
Rex FeaturesWho? Cordelia Chase from Buffy The Vampire Slayer
She said what? “Excuse me. Who gave you permission to exist? ”
Like many bitches in long-running TV shows, Cordelia eventually came good when she fell in love. She joined up with the hapless Xander, and joined Buffy's crew fighting the Sunnydale Hell Mouth. Initially, Cordelia wasn't so nice and was the archetypal bitchy cheerleader who regularly pointed out to anyone who would listen that Buffy, Willow and Xander were not cool – even though we totally knew that they were. Extra points are awarded for her oh-so-90s wardrobe that was totally great.
Rex FeaturesWho? Sue Sylvester from Glee
She said what? "I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help, but picturing birds laying sulphurous eggs in there and I find it disgusting."
Where to begin? Consistently plotting the downfall of the Glee Club and their leader, Mr. Schue, shell-suit loving Sue Sylvester is one of the baddest and most badass TV bitches and don't get us started on her awesome one-liners – particularly the ones pertaining to Mr. Schue's hair.
Rex FeaturesWho? Cruella DeVil from 101 Dalmatians
She said what? “Congratulations. You've just won gold, silver, and bronze in the Morons Olympics!”
SHE. IS. AWFUL. And also the stuff of children's nightmares; not only does she want to steal Pongo and Perdy's adorable little brood; she wants to skin them to make a coat. So basically, she’s not just bitchy, she's horrifying.
Rex FeaturesWho? Regina George from Mean Girls
She said what? “That is the ugliest effing skirt I’ve ever seen.”
She rules the school corridors with her bitchy comments, made up stories about Janice, runs the awful Burn Book, and is regularly horrible to supposed BFFs Karen and Gretchen. In short, Regina is one of the all-time High School bitches of both the big and small screens.
Rex FeaturesWho? Bellatrix LeStrange from Harry Potter
She said what? “My Lord, I'd like to volunteer for this task. I want to kill the boy.”
She's a psychotic murderer hell-bent on killing a teenage boy. Then she kills the only surviving family he has just a short time after boy wizard Harry actually found said relative. Plus, she's infatuated with another murderous psycho. Off-hand, I'd say Bellatrix was pretty bad.
Who? Cersei Lannister from Game Of Thrones
She said what? “Do you think if I wanted to kill you I would let a wooden door stop me?”
Where to begin with Cersei Lannister? For starters, there’s the very questionable love life, she’s also more than fond of a little public decapitation and oh, yeah: she’s completely hell-bent on power.
Rex FeaturesWho? Emily Gilmore from Gilmore Girls
She said what? “I’m so exhausted with incompetent people, I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Not really a bitch, per se, but Emily sure does wield an acerbic tongue when she wants to. Oh, and she's also mean as hell to her staff, which is arguably worse. Constantly trying to get her daughter and grand-daughter to conduct themselves in the same manner that she does that doesn’t stop her keeping toe-to-toe with Lorelai in their battle of wits.
Frank Ockenfels/AMCWho? Joan Holloway from Mad Men
She said what? “Remember, when you're over there in the jungle, and they're shooting at you... you're not dying for me. Because I never liked you.”Yes she’s sharp-tongue in the office but we love Joan Holloway. Carving out a successful career in the male-dominated advertising industry in 60s New York, whilst dishing out some withering putdowns to whoever gets in her way in the process, Joanie is just great.
Rex FeaturesWho? Cece from New Girl
She said what? “I got your text. When you're going through a 'Taylor Swift-like range of emotions,' I should come over, right?”
Beautiful and barbed, model Cece reserves her wittiest – and just plain harsh – putdowns for her on/off boyfriend, Schmidt.
Rex FeaturesWho? Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous
She said what? “One more facelift on this one and she'll have a beard.”
Ridiculous and sublime in equal measure, it’s always a wonder that Patsy ever held down a job given that she and BFF Edina were always in Harvey Nicks. She’s got a wicked side when she wants to, especially when sparring with nemesis Saffron – or referencing anything to do with Eddie’s body.
Rex FeaturesWho? Vivian from Legally Blonde
She said what? “Nice outfit.”
Where to begin? Gah! When we first watched Legally Blonde and Elle Woods was being picked on by snooty Vivian, well, we were up in arms (read: gesticulating wildly around our popcorn). The fancy dress party bit is tough to watch but Elle’s good nature soon wins her over and when Viv finally dobs in “bonehead” Warner, well, we ended up liking Vivian, too.
Rex FeaturesWho? Scarlett O’Hara from Gone With The Wind
She said what? “[On divorce and heartbreak] I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.”
Scarlett is one of the maddest, craziest and sometimes meanest bitches in movie history. Not only does she repeatedly scorn and rebuff Rhett Butler – who loves her – she also chases her best friend’s husband for the best part of the movie. However, like many of the great silver screen bitches, she eventually realises her own mistakes and pays the price, all the while remaining pretty calm, collected and well, mad.
Rex FeaturesWho? Karen Walker from Will & Grace
She said what? “They're just like you, only infinitely better.”Karen’s high-pitched one-liners and machine-gun firing laugh made her an immediate favourite on Will & Grace. Almost always drunk, or about to be drunk, her best lines were her slagging off Will, slagging off Rosario and even slagging off absent husband, Stan.
Rex FeaturesWho? Simon Cowell from The X Factor & Britain's Got Talent
She said what? “There's as much chance as you being a pop star or a rock star as me flying to the moon tomorrow morning for breakfast.”And of course TV judge Simon Cowell deserves an honourary mention for his services to witty putdowns and sarcastic comments. The X Factor honcho is the king - and queen - of them and as such has become a guilty pleasure for us on a Saturday night.
