Ridiculous Celebrity Quotes

From the rude and obnoxious to the silliest and downright head-scratching, these stars definitely have a way with words
PA PhotosKate Moss
"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."
WennDavid Beckham
"I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.”
Rex FeaturesBrooke Shields
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Rex FeaturesKim Kardashian
"I couldn't care less if they [the media] say I'm pregnant with twins by my brother."
PA PhotosJustin Bieber
“I have a swagger coach that helps me and teaches me different swaggerific things to do… He has helped me with my style and just putting different pieces together and being able to layer and stuff like that.”
Rex FeaturesAlicia Silverstone
On her role in Clueless: "I think that the film was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
Okayyy.
Rex FeaturesCharlie Sheen
"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
Rex FeaturesPink
"Kanye West is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote Me."
Rex FeaturesRashida Jones
"This week's celeb news takeaway: she who comes closest to showing the actual inside of her vagina is most popular. #stopactinglikewhores"
PAMariah Carey
Before entering rehab in 2001, Mariah said, "I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows."
Rex FeaturesNicole Richie
On that catwalk appearance: "I've just gone through so much in my life that pulling my top up just doesn't seem like that big of a deal."
Rex FeaturesJohnny Depp
When discussing photo shoots, Johnny let his true feelings be known: "Well, you just feel like you're being raped somehow."
Rex FeaturesKristen Stewart
K-Stew repeated Johnny’s mistake in 2010, telling a UK women’s mag: “What you don’t see are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or the people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction,” she said of the constant paparazzi crush. “The photos are so … I feel like I’m looking at someone being raped. A lot of the time I can’t handle it. It’s f—ed. I never expected that this would be my life.”
Before apologising in People mag, saying: “I really made an enormous mistake – clearly and obviously. And I'm really sorry about my choice of words."
PA PhotosJim Carrey
To Emma Stone, Jim wore his heart on his sleeve: "I just wanted to let you know that I think you're all the way beautiful. Not just pretty, but, you know, smart and kindhearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you, and we would have chubby little freckled faced kids."
Alrighty then!
Rex FeaturesRobert Downey Jr.
"I'm thinking of buying a monkey. Then I think, ´Why stop at one?´ I don't like being limited in that way. Therefore, I'm considering a platoon of monkeys. So that people will look at me and see how mellow and well-adjusted I am compared to these monkeys throwing feces around."
Rex FeaturesJennifer Hudson
"I'm prouder of my weight loss than my Oscar!"
Rex FeaturesSarah Jessica Parker
"I love the smell of diapers; I even like when they´re wet and you smell them all warm liked a baked good. I love the smell of Balmex. Love it."
PA PhotosGwyneth Paltrow
"I am who I am. I can´t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year."
Rex FeaturesOzzy Osbourne
"I think MTV should consider using subtitles. Half the time, even I can't understand what the fuck I'm talking about."
Big PicturesKarl Lagerfeld
On Pippa Middleton: "Kate Middleton has a nice silhouette and she is the right girl for that boy. I like that kind of woman, I like romantic beauties. On the other hand, her sister struggles. I don't like the sister's face. She should only show her back."
Getty ImagesKanye West
"Visiting my mind is like visiting the Hermès factory. Shit is real."
GettyMadonna
“I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art.”
Rex FeaturesLady Gaga
"I don’t know if this is too much…but I can actually mentally give myself an orgasm."
PA PhotosMegan Fox
"When you think about it, we actors are kind of prostitutes."
Getty ImagesChristina Aguilera
"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"
Whoops.
Rex FeaturesWill.i.am
"If I were a painter, I would paint beautiful bodies — I would paint nipples, and I would paint Bibles. Am I going to say, 'I'm not going to paint this woman's neck because people will think I just want to lick on necks?' Please! That's not what art is about."
PA PhotosBritney Spears
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
Rex FeaturesArnold Schwarzenegger
"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."
WennSylvester Stallone
"The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush."
Rex FeaturesDonald Trump
"Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich."