Online Dating: DOs and DON'Ts
Thinking of making a splash in the online dating pool? Everyone's doing it, and it can lead to happily ever after: in the US, between ten and twenty per cent of new marriages are now between couples who meet online. But like dating the old-fashioned way, there are some definite DOs and DON'Ts to keep in mind when it comes to meeting your online match. Read on for our top tips, and share yours in the comments, on Facebook, or on Twitter!
Rex FeaturesDO get help writing your profile
We’re not saying you should get someone to write it FOR you (although you can – see Sarah Beeny’s site MySingleFriend.com, which is perfect for the more modest among us, as you get your pals to write a glowing recommendation of you to potential suitors). But a second pair of eyes will help you realise whether you’re putting your best foot forward...and that you haven't misspelled 'foot'.
Rex FeaturesDO try sites tailored to your interests
There a dozens, catering to different interests. We're especially partial to Penguin Dating, for people who like to read, but there are also sites associated with different newspapers and sites associated with magazines; sites for people from particular religious groups and sites for people of various nationalities. The bottom line: there’s a huge amount of variety, and it can be fun to try a few to see which format or system works best for you.
rex featuresDON'T think that all the guys are geeks
Anyway, geeks are hot right now. But seriously: the demographics of online daters has changed dramatically over the past five years or so, and chances are good that the gorgeous guy who you see on the bus every morning will be surfing for dates.
Rex FeaturesDON'T be negative
Would you introduce yourself to a guy you meet at the pub with a list of your pet hates? Your profile is a place to write about things you LIKE, not things you don’t. It may be tempting to make a list of things that you’re not looking for in a man ("unlike my ex-boyfriend, not a jerk")...but it can make you seem like a bit of a downer.
Rex FeaturesDON'T stretch the truth
Painting yourself in a flattering light is a no-brainer. Stretching the truth is unwise: just as you’re not going to get very far with a guy you meet down the pub if you’re not honest with him from the get-go, untruths you tell while internet dating will eventually be exposed...and you’d hate for that to happen when you meet someone you really like, wouldn’t you? So stick to the real you, and trust that good blokes will appreciate you as you are.
Rex FeaturesDO meet up in a public place
And not just the first time. It really should go without saying, but it also can't be reiterated enough: meet in a public place and make sure a friend knows who you are. No, the chances that anyone you meet online is dangerous are very slim, but you can’t take chances with your safety.
WennDO meet up sooner rather than later...
If you’ve exchanged two or three messages with a bloke and think he sounds promising, suggest meeting up sooner rather than later. For some reason a very long correspondence with someone you’ve never met can lead to an awkward in-person meeting...perhaps because you run out of things to talk about!
Rex Features...but DON'T move too fast
So you've emailed a guy a few times, you've met up for a coffee, and there's a bit of a spark? Great - but don't move too fast. After all, dating sites are designed to help you meet a lot of people - so the odds are that they may be seeing a couple of other people too. So take things slowly until you're ready to have a straightforward chat about your expectations...
Rex FeaturesDON'T take it too personally
So, you're having a witty, banterous exchange with a guy...and then, all of a sudden, you stop hearing from him. It's tempting to wonder if he was suddenly put off by your enthusiasm for Lady Gaga, but the truth is that people can disappear off websites for a million reasons - none of which have much to do to you. Move on to the next guy and don't worry.
Bigpicturesphoto.comDO choose first dates wisely
Online dating first dates can be even more awkward than regular first dates, since you've never seen each other in the flesh - so opt for a quick coffee initially so that you don't feel trapped if it's all wrong! And DON'T be afraid to cut it short if the online spark doesn't translate to real life...he'll probably be relieved, too.
Rex FeaturesDO have a sense of humour about it
Yes, sometimes online dates will turn out to be FAR from what they seemed cracked up to be (or, you know...mentalists) but think of it as an opportunity to add to your arsenal of stories to tell when you’re out with the girls.
Rex FeaturesDON'T forget it's not (quite) the same as online shopping
Clicking through pages and pages of eligible men, online dating can sometimes make you feel like you’re picking boys from a catalogue...but don’t forget that unlike the perfect pair of shoes, men can be kind of unpredictable! So be up for giving a guy who isn’t quite what he seems in his profile, a chance, if you have a good feeling about him. Even if he isn’t as tall as he claimed.
Rex FeaturesDON'T indulge in game playing
Just because you meet someone online doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have the same high expectations of a guy who you meet under more ‘natural’ circumstances. Don’t let weird behaviour slide. Your gut feelings still apply.
Big PicturesDO make sure it stays fun
If internet dating starts to make you feel angry and/or frustrated, give it a break for a while...there’s no point in letting it make you feel agitated, and if you do associate it with feeling frustrated, it will show in your communication with men. It’s fine to come and go...after all, there aren’t any rules about how much (or how little) you should use it.
rex featuresDON'T do it exclusively
Yes, the man of your dreams may be online – but he may also be under your nose. If you find yourself spending more time at home on your computer than getting out there, remember to give yourself plenty of breaks from the computer screen and plenty of opportunity to meet guys in other ways, too.
