Dallas 101
The legendary Texan TV show is back with a ten-gallon bang, and, if you missed it the first time round (1978-1991), and have absolutely no idea what everyone's talking about, worry not. Our resident Dallas correspondent has created a cheat sheet so you can impress your friends by hissing, booing and cheering in all the right places.
The Ewings
Dallas, Texas was home to America’s favourite TV family throughout the 80s. The Ewings were rich, powerful and good-looking with the family oil business running through their veins thicker than blood. The family ranch ‘Southfork’ was the centre of the Ewing universe, and ruling the roost were Jock and Ellie (known as Miss Ellie) Ewing.
J.R & Bobby Ewing
Jock and Ellie had 3 sons; J.R, Gary and Bobby. Now forget Gary (he was booted off to daytime Dallas spin-off Knots Landing), the key people here are J.R (bad brother) and Bobby (good brother). J.R and Bobby’s rivalry was epic and lasting, although we all know deep down their brotherly love is solid. Or is it?
J.R
J.R, the older Ewing brother, was/still is the biggest cheese in Texas. The oil baron’s lust for power, money and control eventually saw him drive away all those he loved – his mother, wife (Sue Ellen) and son John Ross III. J.R cheated and manipulated his way through the 80s and low and behold in 2012 nothing has changed. J.R is still sleazy and possibly undead (he has cheated death countless times), however he has an undeniable charm that the ladies cannot resist. Some say J.R is simply craving the love his mother always gave Bobby. Whateves. J.R is baaaaaaadass.
Bobby Ewing
Youngest son Bobby was, on the other hand – nothing short of perfect. Handsome, heroic, kind, clever, caring and sexy – every woman worth her shoulder pads had a Bobby-shaped crush back in the 80s. Bobby was married to the beautiful Pam (Victoria Principle) and their dreams of parenthood came true when they adopted Christopher in 1981. Bobby and Pam’s marriage was pretty solid but, ultimately, Pam left Bobby after a car accident left her badly burnt and she refused to let him see her ever again. Bobby remarried several times, currently to Ann Rutter. Bobby is now head of Southfork ranch although time will tell how long J.R will have that.
Sue Ellen Ewing
Sue Ellen was often seen sporting tear-streaked mascara, a large drink (preferably a cocktail) and a lover. And who could blame her? Notorious ladies man J.R fell head over heels in love with ‘Miss Texas’ at the Fort Worth Beauty Pageant in 1963. Sue Ellen Shepard eventually succumbed to his charms and married the oil baron in 1971. And so began the most infamous marriage in TV history. The bottom line was, Sue Ellen and J.R genuinely loved each other but they simply found it impossible to be happy together. In 10 years they crammed in countless affairs, alcoholism, miscarriages, a car accident, several shootings and a son, John Ross III – the love of J.R’s life. In the new series Sue Ellen appears to have cleaned up her act and is a powerful business woman. Go Sue Ellen we say!
Pam’s Dream
In 1984 Patrick Duffy quit the series altogether and his character Bobby was run over and killed. However his departure dented the series significantly and he was persuaded to return. But how to you bring a man back from the dead? Simply have his wife Pam DREAM the entire previous season (including Bobby’s death).
Rex FeaturesCliff Barnes
Pam’s brother was Cliff Barnes and J.R’s MORTAL enemy. Throughout the entire show J.R and Cliff were constantly trying to find ways to outsmart each other. Cliff had an affair with Sue Ellen, and a string of short-lived affairs, but, eventually found happiness with wife Afton and daughter Pamela Rebecca.
Rex FeaturesRay Krebbs
Ray Krebbs began life on the soap opera in 1978 working on Southfork ranch. Good looking, happy-go-lucky Ray found his life turned upside down when it was revealed he was Jock’s illegitimate son – and therefore J.R and Bobby’s half brother. Like any true Ewing, Ray had his share of dramas, affairs and marriages, but eventually found happiness with Jenna Wade in Switzerland.
Lucy Ewing
Lucy lived with her grandparents Jock and Ellie Ewing at Southfork from an early age after her parents were unable to raise her. Lucy was a pain in the butt and her love of drugs, partying and generally causing mischief often spelt trouble. She had a scandalous fling with Ray Krebbs (who turned out to be her uncle) but married (divorced, re-married and divorced again) Mitch Cooper. The last we saw of her in the original series she headed off to Italy for a new life, however she’s a regular guest in the new series showing up at Christopher and Rebecca’s wedding in Southfork. Terry Wogan famously dubbed her ‘the poisoned dwarf’.
Who Shot J.R?
Perhaps the most famous TV moment EVER was in 1980 when viewers were left with the season cliffhanger – who shot J.R? The story ran in newspapers, on the TV news (unheard of back in the early 80s) and became a cultural reference with t-shirts claiming ‘I shot J.R’ on every other chest on the planet. So who DID shot J.R? Well the list of suspects was long, but it was in fact Kristen Shepard, J.R’s sister-in-law and mistress, who pulled the trigger.
Ann Ewing
Ann Ewing is new to the cast of >i>Dallas[/i] and plays Bobby’s third wife. We’ve yet to see how Ann compares to Pam but so far we know she’s pretty handy with a shotgun. Useful skill in Dallas.
John Ross Ewing
We remember when John Ross was a wee lad running around in oversized kids suits and picking on Christopher his cousin. He was destined to grow up mean like his dad and so far we’re not been disappointed. The all-new grown up John Ross, along with his girlfriend Elena Ramos, is keen to get his hands on Ewing Oil.
Christopher Ewing
Bobby and Pam’s adopted son Christopher (in the form of Desperate Housewives star Jessie Metcalfe) is, like his cousin, all grown-up and now a keen operator in the alternative fuels industry. He married Rebecca Sutter in episode one but already we can see that his former relationship with John Ross’s girlfriend Elena is far from over.
Elena Ramos
A childhood friend of John Ross and Christopher, Elena grew up on Southfork (she was daughter to the family’s cook). Now she’s beautiful and determined to make a name for herself in the oil business. She’s currently on the arm of John Ross but we say – WATCH THIS SPACE….
Rebecca Sutter
The hot new wife of Christopher Ewing lost her parents at an early age so had to work double hard to put herself through law school. Has she just married into the toughest family in TV history? We have a hunch she'll be able to handle it - maybe it's in her blood...
Homework
Has our Dallas 101 left you craving more?
Remember Wednesday nights are now DALLAS nights (on Channel 5 at 9pm) and for true enlightenment,
DALLAS: The Complete DVD Collection is on-sale.
