Meet your NEW GLAMOUR cover star: Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer is our brand new cover star - and we think you'll agree, she's the ultimate badass that you'd love to be friends with.
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Amy on whether being famous is how she imagined it to be:
“No, I did not ever want to be famous, honestly. It didn’t occur to me until it was already happening. The fame aspect is not something that appealed to me at all. And I was really kind of terrified of it. I wouldn’t trade it to wait tables or whatever. I live my life, I’m grateful for everything. It’s mostly just really annoying. And distracting. And embarrassing for everyone. And I’m conscious for the people I’m with. Now when I go outside, I get photographed by the paparazzi. I’m not to the level of some people – some actresses where it’s constant tabloids – but it’s enough that it’s really uncomfortable.”
On her boyfriend, Ben Hanisch:
“He’s very protective of me, like, not overprotective, but if someone’s taking pictures of me or filming in a restaurant, he’ll start taking pictures of them. He’s really cool; it’s not a problem to be around any of the sorts of people who are at these events. He takes it all in his stride. But when I say, “Shall we get out of here?” he’s like, “Yes!” I’m so lucky that I met him. And he hadn’t seen any of my work before we met…”
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On whether there is any danger of her happiness jeopardising her comedy material:
“Um, well, I’m never that happy…I can be happy, and funny stuff also happens; I don’t think I’m like that. I went down on Ben this morning and he yawned – it was an accident, but we were both just dying laughing. I’m happy, but obviously I was like, “Fuck you.”….When I’m down there, if it’s more than a minute, it’s his birthday or something. But this morning it just happened – and then he yawned and it was a great excuse to stop.”
On whether there’s anyone that she would want to snog that she could cast in her next film:
“Oh, gosh, I mean there’s so many…Yeah, for sure, I wouldn’t kick [Tom Hardy] out of bed. Christian Bale, Idris Elba…I mean, this is just a list of who I wanna sleep with, right?”
GettyOn the Kardashians
"We have to be a role model for these little girls. Because who do they have? All they have literally is the Kardashians.
"A whole family who take the faces they were born with as a light suggestion? No!
We used to have Khloe and Khloe was ours. Whenever there is a group of women you identify with one of them right? Like with Sex and The City, you were like I’m such a Samantha.’
"Khloe has lost half her body weight. Khloe has lost a Kendall. We have nothing. I want good role models!"
Jill GreenbergOn body image in Hollywood
"At my first audition when I was 21, they were like, 'You should either lose weight or gain a bunch of weight, like be the fat friend or the romantic lead.' Can you believe they said this?” she said. “But I feel like more than other people saying it, it's a self-inflicted thing. We put pressure on ourselves and hold ourselves to this unrealistic standard.'"
RexDuring her GLAMOUR Awards acceptance speech
I’m 160lbs and can catch a dick whenever I want
RexOn giving blood
I donated blood today. That's what I call getting an AIDS test.
RexOn an ex
I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.'
GettyOn another ex
He was really into family... He'd never come on the road with me on the weekends 'cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.
GettyHer sex life explained
You have to pretend like you want to use a condom. I like to say something fun when I bring it up, but honest. I'll be like, 'You're going to want to wear this. I've had a busy month.'
GettyOn her school friends
The girls I grew up with they're living normal, adult lives. So they call me now and they're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still react like, 'What are you going to do? I'll drive you, I guess.'
GettyOn Twitter (OK, Twatter)
Now every idiot from high school's like, 'I'm back!' We weren't supposed to meet again. Stop poking me and inviting me to your weird vampire parties. No, I don't want to follow you on Twatter. Like, nobody's interested in you. I don't want to see you in real life, why would I want to follow you in the imaginary one?
GettyOn baby-rearing
It says, 'It's safest to let them sleep alone, especially if you drink, use drugs or are overweight.' Yeah, I thought that was weird, too. But if you think about it, if you're drunk, stoned or really fat, in the middle of the night, that baby might look delicious. I've eaten weirder things.
GettyThe joys of vaginal preening
It's work having a vagina. Guys don't think that it’s work but it is. You think it shows up like that to the event? It doesn't. Every night it's like getting it ready for its first Quinceanera, believe me.
GettyOn popular culture
You know that show 'Teen Mom'? Or if you're from the South, 'Mom.'
GettyOn the dynamics of a friendship group
In every group of girlfriends, there’s that one who is the sluttiest. If you don’t have that friend, you’re that friend.
GettyWhat she looks for in a man
I went home with this French guy because he said something adorable like, ‘I have an apartment.'
GettyOn sexism
I get labeled a sex comic. But if a guy got up onstage and pulled his dick out, everybody would say, ‘He’s a thinker.'
GettyOn her notorious Kimye fall
I think falling is the funniest thing and so I just took a dive right in front of them and pretended like I fell. [Kanye] did not crack a smile at any point... and there’s no way either of them had any idea who I am.
GettyHer mum gave good advice…
I just went through a break-up, actually. I'm not worried about meeting someone else or being lonely. I'm just worried about all the pictures. But my mom always told me, you know, ever since I was a little girl, 'Never put your face in them.'
GettyOn her childhood friends
I feel like you know what you're going to be good at when you're older based on what you like when you're younger. When I was younger my best friend was Tony, this kid Tony, and he loved rocks. He was always playing with rocks, counting them, and now he's a crack head.
GettyShe’s self-aware
I usually feel pretty good about myself. I know what I look like. You’d bang me, but you wouldn’t blog about it. You won’t be Twittering ‘You won’t believe who I’m inside.’ It’s fine.
GettyOn her high school crush
I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.
GettyOn marriage
All my friends are getting married. I guess I’m just at that age where people give up.
