Get Over It
Rex FeaturesRemove all photos of him
From your purse, your phone background, that frame on your bedside table, and especially from Facebook. It will sting at first, but keeping those photos around won’t only make it harder to get over him – it will also send the signal to others that you haven’t let go.
RexTell the office gossip
Choose a chatty coworker and tell them that you’re no longer in a relationship. That way, you can count on them to spread the news about your breakup. It sounds awful, but it’s better than the alternative (squirming when your boss asks you how Mike is doing these days).
Rex FeaturesRearrange your furniture
Because nothing says “I’m starting a new life!” like pushing the sofa to the other wall. You don’t have to be a Feng Shui master for this to be helpful, either. It’s just a simple, physical way of embracing change.
iStockThe symbolic ceremony
For those really devastating splits, you may feel inclined to represent the break with some kind of ritual, even if you know it doesn’t really make sense. So go ahead and burn those love letters (and then bury the ashes in the back garden). Just remember to practice fire safety.
Rex FeaturesChange your Facebook relationship status
Try to do this quickly and discreetly (like really late at night or early in the morning, and ideally not during the weekend). And whatever you do, do not allude to the breakup in any of your status postings. Your 300-odd “friends” do not need to know that your heart will go on.
iStockWrite that letter
If actually talking to your ex isn’t an option, get it all out in a strongly worded letter. If you’re more of a typist, may we suggest opening a word processing file rather than pressing “reply” to an email? Otherwise, a slip of the finger could put you back in relationship hell.
Rex FeaturesGet outside
Exercise plus sunshine is an instant mood booster. Even something as simple as a brisk walk can be a good opportunity to obsess over the finer points of your breakup, without feeling like you’re just moping around the house. By the time you get home, you might feel like you’ve cleared your head a bit.
iStockReclaim your bed
Staying on your side and looking over at an empty pillow is just a recipe for sadness. Instead, spread out and rediscover the joys of diagonal sleeping.
iStockGet busy
Get busy. If you suddenly find yourself with an empty schedule, fill it with friend dates or even sign up for some classes (hey, you always wanted to learn French/play the guitar/dance ballet, right?).
Let yourself wallow
For a little while. So watching bad daytime television in dirty pyjamas makes you feel better? Fine. Give in to the urge, but make sure you give yourself a deadline for when it has to stop.
iStockGo to the cinema alone
Just because you’re not part of a couple doesn’t mean you should miss out on seeing new releases (and now you don’t have to feel guilty about watching that it’s-so-bad-it’s-good-no-it’s-actually-just-bad flick). If you’re nervous about braving a busy date night, head to the cinema on a lazy afternoon with a coffee in hand.
Indulge in a breakover
Yes, this does mean trying a new look or dying your hair. Just make sure you don’t fall into the trap of thinking that it will make your ex feel like he’s missing out. Think of it as a fun way to tell yourself – and the world – that you’re turning a new leaf.
Get it off your chest
Still got something to say about the way things worked out (or didn’t) between you two? Better to do it now, while you’re still in the post-breakup transitional phase. Once you let things settle, it will just be too weird to bring up relationship problems if you’re not in a relationship anymore.
iStockMisery loves company
Find a friend who’s also going through a breakup. You’ll both feel free to talk about the one and only thing either of you feel like talking about.
Rex FeaturesTake his number off speed dial
This is another official way of recognising that the relationship is over. It will also help you avoid any potentially embarrassing pocket-calls. If you’re an accident-prone texter, you may even want to move his phonebook entry to a less obvious spot (like last name first), to save yourself from any slip-ups. Or forward his number to a friend for safekeeping and delete him altogether.
Make a change
One of the positive things about leaving a relationship is that you’re suddenly free to make decisions without having to consider anybody else. This could be your chance to switch cities, take that long holiday, or even make that risky career move.
iStockGo home
Sometimes it’s nice to hand over the reins to Mum and Dad again, even if it’s only for a weekend. So take advantage of the free laundry service and the warm breakfasts while you can – on Monday you can go back to being strong.
iStockInstitue a no-contact period
In the heat of the breakup, many of us agree to (or even suggest) trying to be friends. This might be an option in the future, but it’s rarely a good idea right off the bat. If you find yourself slipping back into your old relationship ways, you’ll just get confused and prolong your mourning period.
Rex FeaturesMake a list
Write down the reasons you broke up (especially when you’re feeling most angry). You might need these reasons to remind you why your breakup is a good thing when you feel tempted to get back together.
istockphotoTurn to your friends
Find your support network, and for once, actually use it. Sometimes we spend too much time worrying about burdening others with our problems, but you might be surprised to find out who’s happy to listen to you in your hour of need.
Rex FeaturesClear the air with mutual friends
If you want to keep in touch with people who are friends with both you and your ex, you’ll have a better chance of staying close if you talk about the breakup directly and let them know that you don’t expect them to take sides.
iStockHave a good cry
As with wallowing, sometimes you just need to let yourself feel really sad. And if you let it all out when you’re safely at home, you might be able to save yourself from some mortifying impromptu tears in public.
iStockDo some spring cleaning
Winter, you say? It doesn’t really matter. Throw yourself into an intense day of “everything must go” style cleaning. The sooner you find any of his lingering belongings (and either dispose of them or return them), the better.
Know that it's tough for him too
Assume that he’s hurting just as much, in his own way. Yeah, imagining someone else feeling terrible shouldn’t help, but somehow it does. If you’re feeling a little devious, you can even add “yeah, he’s taking it pretty hard” to your breakup story.
Rex FeaturesGo out!
Did anyone say girls’ night? You may not feel up to hanging out with your besties, but trust us – throwing on a sparkly top and at least acting like you’re having fun will help you feel slightly less pathetic.
