Netflix’s latest controversial, truly addictive documentary The Man With 1000 Kids will have you hooked with every twist and turn, and not just because of its shocking premise.
Sure, it’s based on a pretty unbelievable but unfortunately true story – of mass sperm donor Jonathan Meijer, who was found to have donated at sperm clinics around the world, exceeding both national and international guidelines on how many families and clinics he should donate to. The result? Fathering a reported 1000 children.
Here's what we know about the man accused of fathering 1000 children.
This act is a form of fertility fraud, which is defined by misrepresentation of information during the reproductive process. After outlining the stories of the many families who were affected by Jonathan’s actions, the documentary’s third episode explores the ultimate result of the tireless campaigning of the many families who used Jonathan’s sperm.
In April 2023, a Dutch court banned Jonathan from donating any more sperm, and also instructed him to contact all clinics who still had reserves of his specimen to inform them that all reserves must be destroyed.
“We didn't dare dream of getting the recognition and an actual ruling with a fine,” Suzanne, a parent of a child conceived by Jonathan’s sperm donation, tells GLAMOUR, mostly because the result was “unprecedented”.
Eve Wiley, a fertility fraud activist who also provides commentary for the documentary, tells GLAMOUR that after her own experiences of the issue – she is a product of fertility fraud but not by Jonathan Meijer – left her “shocked to learn there was nothing in the legal landscape to hold these men accountable”. So, while Jonathan's civil court case didn't change law, it's a good start and indicator for where things need to go – as well as highlighting huge existing issues in the fertility and donor industry.
A big concern for parents is the risk of accidental incest, where half siblings both produced from Jonathan's sperm might meet or procreate. The ramifications are huge, Eve says: "the biodiversity concern that could lead to accidental incest, the mental health component of navigating such large sibling pods for the donor conceived persons, and the false sense of security when selecting a donor profile.
“Most countries have guidelines that are just recommendations that cannot be enforced.”
Suzanne and her partner Natalie, who are based in the Netherlands, spoke with GLAMOUR to talk through their experience, how it has affected their son and parenting strategy and how they hope the documentary will affect change.
What does being on the documentary and telling your story mean to you both?
Suzanne: Of course, there was the court case, but that is a civil court case in the Netherlands and it is aimed to help him stop. But it doesn't solve the actual underlying issue. There is no universal law to prevent men like him doing this. It was really great to have an opportunity to address it by putting this on the agenda and moving it to the top of people’s minds. These practices are a global problem.
There’s so much misinformation out there about donors and regulation of the fertility industry – these are problems that we need to address. It is a problem worldwide. There is no law preventing it and the fertility industry is so strong, they have such a strong lobby, because it's a billion dollar business. People are paying €2000+ per straw [of semen].
It follows the story of a mass sperm donor who allegedly fathered 1000 children.
Are you able to tell me about your relationship with Jonathan in the beginning, and how he built your trust?
Natalie: He was perfectly normal. I first met him in 2010 and he was very helpful, very open… solid and well thought out, he had a good brain… Very nice and easygoing.
Suzanne: He comes across as super intelligent, a good conversation partner. He was friendly and had a very decent way of presenting himself. There's not a lot of conversational partners I don't get bored of – I didn't get bored of him. Then [when we spoke to him about having a second child] we touched upon the number of children he had [at that point] and he said, ‘I have like 25 children now’, and we were shocked.
Natalie: [Now,] his word doesn't mean nothing to us, because he's continuously lying.
Suzanne: It's hard to imagine what the reason is behind this. We'll leave that up to the viewers, to look at his actions and judge based on that. He's told a few stories about why he started donating, but it does not explain why it is happening at this scale. His statements running up to the documentary are very, very contradicting.
Natalie: In his mind, 99% of the women are against this documentary, and only 1% of the women wants this documentary to help them. But in fact, it's the other way around. 99% want him to stop and want him to be to be accountable for what he did.
Of course a big risk and worry here is two of Jonathan’s children, half siblings, falling in love or becoming sexually involved with each other - how did that make you feel, when it comes to concern for your child?
Natalie: I feel sorry for all of these children. I feel very, very sorry. And that's why we're so determined to help them. They’re underage. The oldest one is probably around 16 but the youngest one is not born yet or is still a baby. These children are not able to defend themselves, they're innocent.
Suzanne: Even if our son moved outside of the Netherlands, he should always be careful, because you don't know where and what countries [Jonathan] has maxed out [donating sperm].
How do you plan to talk to your son about this, has it affected how you parent?
Natalie: We talked about it immediately because we feel at this age we can control the story, we can tell him what what he needs to know, and what he can handle at his age. So we talked about the numbers, we talked about him having half siblings. That's a lot for a child of his age to comprehend. But he's a smart cookie. He understands what has happened. And he was like ‘Who are they? Can I can I talk to one?’ He talked to his half sister and they had an instant connection.
Suzanne: It is hard, and we need to have this conversation with him over and over again. As he grows older and the conversations will be around different topics, for instance if he starts showing some interest in any sex. It's important that he knows what the risks are and that he should be always be a bit aware of people's backgrounds. But that's a rough thing to put on the shoulders of, of someone, there will be a phase where he is working on his own identity.
Natalie: We need to be very careful monitoring his his mental health as well. This is this is a big, big, big burden to put on a child. And that's why if I had known back then that he was not honest and not truthful, I would not have chosen him as a donor. And that's something people may or may not understand. But for me, it's very important to get that message out. Because, yes, I am happy with my child. Yes, I love my child. But the fact that I had no idea what was going on back then, makes things very difficult for me – because there was no information out there. I didn't know the numbers [of children], I didn't know that he went to all these clinics. There was no information at all, only that he was a teacher and a musician.
Suzanne: The children will carry the burden, their grandchildren will carry the burden.
How important was the Facebook group of other mums/parents who used Jonathan’s sperm, while going through this?
Suzanne: Especially in the beginning, there were [lots of] emotions, but over time this group was very supportive. Running up to the documentary’s release, we’ve found a lot of support in one another.
Men inevitably have an upper hand in this fertility dynamic – how does that feel, particularly as a queer couple?
Natalie: It feels a little bit like we're back in 1917, where women's bodies were controlled by men, and we couldn't have abortions, we couldn't control our own bodies. And it feels like that all over again, because we are in control of our bodies in certain ways, but we are not in control of what happens with the semen of these men. And if we're not in control of that, we’re also not in control of our bodies.
What do you most want to see change, after experiencing fertility fraud?
Suzanne: We need to make sure that the person doing the actions [of sperm donation] is accountable for these actions – not by civil law, but by criminal law. And that is the major change that we would love to see happen.
A comment that we sometimes get is ‘we can't regulate where a man puts his sperm’. And we're like, ‘okay, but you can regulate a woman's body’
Natalie: You can regulate our eggs.
Suzanne: It’s double standards – there are standards for us women, and other standards for these men. And these double standards need to go away. And we need to have universal law in place. We need to have laws in every country, criminal laws, that can take down these men and help them to stop.
Eve adds that when it comes to the change The Man With 1000 Kids can affect, her hope is that it will “educate and raise awareness about infertility practices so that people can make more informed decisions with clinics and on the private market.” She also thinks it can contribute to a reduction in stigma and support for the families going through this.
“So many of them are continuously marginalised by hearing “you've got a baby – why are you complaining?” she says. “My hope is that people will acknowledge the deception around the conception and fight with them for change.”
The Man With 1000 Kids is available to watch on Netflix now.
