In the second instalment of GLAMOUR's Assistant Editor and Entertainment Director's column, ‘Showtime with Emily Maddick’, in which Emily brings a unique perspective to the month's most hyped film or TV series, based on her two decades in entertainment journalism, she reviews Amazon Prime’s new rom-com, The Idea of You, in which Anne Hathaway plays a single mother who dates a world famous pop-star, 16 years her junior. Emily says that having dated younger men herself - including a celebrity (it’s a reach, but bear with…) - the film exposes the misogynistic double standards imposed on older woman/ younger man relationships, and hopes that it will mark a turning point in cancelling the sexist stereotype of the ‘Cougar’ once and for all.
Spoilers incoming.
Anne Hathaway’s new film, The Idea of You is the gorgeous, rom-com schmaltz-fest the world so desperately needs right now. It’s sexy, it’s cheesy, it’s dripping in hipster-LA glamour and above all, it’s pure, unashamed escapism.
Based on Robinne Lee’s bestselling novel of the same name, single Mum, Solene, played by Anne Hathaway, is going through a nasty divorce after her douchebag husband left her for a younger woman (deliberate irony here). She’s cool, she’s just turned 40 and she’s resigned to a future focusing purely on her career as a successful art gallerist and raising her 16-year-old daughter, Izzy, while trying to amicably co-parent with her ex. On a trip to Coachella, chaperoning her daughter and teen pals, while looking for the loo, Solene accidentally ends up in the trailer of Hayes Campbell, (Nicholas Galitzine), the 24-year-old lead singer of the world’s biggest boy band, August Moon. (Who incidentally had the writers for One Direction pen a few of their songs for the movie.) It’s a meet-cute for the ages and Solene and Hayes then embark on a whirlwind romance that causes shockwaves throughout the world and the tabloid media - and has devastating personal consequences to Solene and her family. She is pilloried by millions (including her ex-husband) for being older than him - with many a screaming ‘Cougar’ headline depicted along with accusations she’s breaking up the band, as ‘Yoko Ono mark 2’.
And while I am not going to get bogged down in the rabid speculation and fan theories that this is actually based on Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde’s age-gap relationship (or indeed any of Mr Styles’ former romances, for he has a type) - I am going to say that despite this being a far-fetched, rom-com schmaltz-fest (the script is pretty dire at times and the ending is so rom-com predictable, it’s laughable), it is also an important turning point for the representation of age-gap relationships on screen. And most importantly, it delves deep into the misogynistic double standards placed on women - and their younger male partners - when it comes to this relationship dynamic.
And I say this as a woman who has, in the past, dated younger men and been subject to all kinds of judgement, shame and double standards - from men, women and even my own internalised misogyny.
At a friend’s wedding in 2014, I had a tryst with a medical student who was related to the groom (he was 20, I was 34, we were both single.) This caused quite the scandal with both my friends and his relatives, yet it was very much me who was told - or rather told off - to curb my flirtations, despite the fact he was pursuing me. I felt awful, mortified and ashamed. And despite his attraction to me, he was not immune to the insidiousness of sexist double standards, joking that I was a ‘MILF’(!) which is even worse than ‘Cougar’, given that I don’t have children.
Louder for the people in the back!
Then there was the guy I met through work, who was a good decade younger than me. Not only did he insist on keeping the romance entirely under wraps, embarrassed, I do believe that he was sleeping with me when I was so much older than him, I was also told by a number of mutual friends that it was ‘not a good look.’ His attraction to me seemed to be both something he should be made to feel ashamed of and in turn, I was made to feel that I should avoid pursuing him as if I was a predator. And aside from the fact that we worked together, (which wouldn’t have caused an issue in the long-run, as I was on a temporary contract.) I couldn’t see any other reason other than our age gap as to why this romance was ‘not a good look’. No, it was sexist, societal prejudice that we were both made to feel the pressure of.
And then, yes, there was the celebrity I ‘dated’, which I include because, you know… As I said, it’s a reach, but back in 2009, I was sent on what was arguably one of the greatest feature commissions a 28-year-old single journalist could dream of: I was tasked with ‘dating’ People magazine’s ‘World’s Hottest Bachelor' of that year, Mr Chace Crawford, aka Nate Archibald of (OG) Gossip Girl fame. Of course, this was a matchmake of pure fiction (he was promoting Gossip Girl, my magazine wanted great copy). Yet alas, dear reader, despite spending a fabulous summer evening attending a festival in Hyde Park and the following day at Wimbledon tennis, romance did not blossom. He did however describe me as his ‘London wife’ (I considered having t-shirts made with this quote on it.) The age gap between Chace and I wasn’t that significant - he was 23 to my 28 at the time - however I did feel that there was something embarrassing about the fact I was older than him. I even remember my (female) editor at the time making notes on my copy asking me to delve deep into how I felt about the age gap and did I feel other women’s judgement when I was out and about with him? Did I feel like a ‘Cougar’? And yes, I did. It made the whole cringe-worthy situation a hell of a lot more awkward because I was older than him.
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Thankfully though, times are changing. Back then in 2009, Sam Taylor-Johnson was being called a ‘fossil’ and an ‘old Granny’ and way worse on social media and causing scandalous headlines for getting together with her now husband of 12 years, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who is 23 years her junior. The director has since spoken about how ‘intense’ the backlash was. Never mind that at that time, the likes of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones (he is 25 years older than her) had been blissfully married for nine years, with no judgement.
And while many could dismiss The Idea of You as a fluffy fantasy rom-com, the messaging around these sexist age-gap double standards is important for the advancement of feminism and it’s addressed throughout the movie.
Solene points out that when her husband, Daniel, left her for a younger woman she was devastated, but not surprised. “Daniel had become more desirable, and I somehow less so. As if time were paced differently for each of us.” she observes.
In the original book, when Solene suggests their age gap may become a problem, Hayes says, “If our ages were reversed, no one would bat an eyelash. Am I right? So now it’s just some sexist, patriarchal crap, and you don’t strike me as the kind of woman who’s going to let that dictate her happiness. All right? Next issue.”
There is some critical discourse around the fact that while Hayes may be younger, he is of course far wealthier than Solene, and indeed her middle-aged ex-husband, and therefore bears the traditional markers of male power. But I don’t think this matters, for ultimately - spoiler and schmaltz alert - their love for one another triumphs and the power imbalance, private jets and patriarchal bullshit fades into insignificance. For what also makes The Idea of You so compelling is that it’s also a study on the pitfalls of fame and the superficial world of celebrity - a Notting Hill 2.0 if you like. Which is why it’s the perfect feel-good, female empowerment film for our times. I implore you to watch it on Amazon Prime this weekend. Meanwhile, I might finally fashion myself that t-shirt, Chace.
The Idea of You is streaming now on Amazon Prime.
For more from GLAMOUR's Assistant Editor and Entertainment Director, Emily Maddick, follow her on Instagram @emilymaddick.
