As women, we carry guilt in a different way to men. It surfaces uninvited in various areas of our lives, from our bodies to relationships and holidays are no exception. Once you’ve delivered on that promise of a belated birthday weekend away or an overdue family reunion there’s often little room left for what we actually want to do, just for ourselves?
So whilst somehow we’ve embraced detox yoga retreats as a solitary pursuit (perhaps because unsurprisingly few partners are keen to take time off work for green juice and sun salutations) —the idea of a proper holiday alone still raises eyebrows. Does it signal a rocky relationship? Where are your friends?
My own holidays typically involve a mix of windswept weeks in Devon, chaotic yet joyful multi-family ski trips, and the occasional solitary Austrian juice fast. The latter of course allows me to convince myself that 48 hours of wheatgrass extract can offset any indulgences the rest of the year. While all these experiences are wonderful in their way, I can’t deny a secret yearning to sip espresso martinis at 11 a.m. while staring into space, and possibly sleeping while more civilised people are having dinner.
And after a year filled with life’s unpredictable twists and turns, rather than continuing to complain I need a ‘proper’ break, I decide to take one: I choose Maxx Royal Kemer on the sparkling Turkish coast as my first destination. This impressive resort sprawls across lush gardens and pristine beach. Yoga classes take place under palm trees while mountain goats meander the rocky cliff paths. At first, the 24-hour butler service confounds me—downloading an app and entering various codes is counterintuitive while on holiday. But sure enough, once through the pain barrier, the service is worth it. Pornstar martinis, lobster linguine, and salted caramel truffles (my rule for this trip is to eat what I want when I want) find their way to me, whether I’m sprawled on the grass under the pine trees or lounging by the pool. 5 star service continues at the spa where the massage turns out to be one of the best I’ve ever experienced- that night I sleep for 9 hours and wake to watch a sunrise (it helps that the bed is perfectly positioned for this & the Nespresso pre-filled with filtered water). Why don’t we make more time to watch this daily miracle?
Next, I head to Istanbul for a few days. I check into the Ritz Carlton, which perches above the Bosphorus, boasting some of the best views in the city & capturing the full sweep of this famous strait. Cities require a different approach when you’re travelling alone. Istanbul evergreen classics such as the Blue Mosque & Hagia Sofia I decide to save for a return visit with family and while I’m tempted by an Agatha Christie-style martini amongst the palms and velvet drapes at the Pera Palace—after all, she wrote Murder on the Orient Express here in the 30s- that one calls for girlfriends in tow.
Instead, I carve out genuine time for myself, indulging in all the things I never have time for. A light-filled hotel room, preferably with a view, becomes my sanctuary. I dive into The Bastard of Istanbul by the brilliant Elif Shafak, watch Orhan Pamuk’s Innocence of Memories, and, yes, let’s be honest, I also mindlessly scroll through TikTok and catch up on Love Is Blind. Nobu is the hot ticket for dining at the Ritz Carlton, where signature classics such as black cod and creamy spicy shrimp are served against a backdrop of shimmering evening lights on the water. Their spa centres around an authentic Hamam, modelled on the 16th century bath houses this city is famous for, where I am exfoliated and massaged on a traditional warm marble slab.
Final stop is the Shangri-La Bosphorus, another gem along the water.
Converted from a historical building built in the 1930's, the hotel sits in the Beşiktaş district and blends contemporary luxury with traditional Turkish design. My room is so close to the sea that I can count the jellyfish bobbing beneath the surface and watch the iconic Kadikoy ferry crossing the strait from Asia to Europe. Dining here centres around the terrace restaurant, arguably the best dining spot in Istanbul. Wrapped in a Shangri-La blanket, I watch seagulls swoop and dive while street hawkers roast chestnuts for hungry ferry commuters. I try the black truffle risotto paired with a glass of Selendi Cabernet Sauvignon—the Ondor family imported vines from France into their vineyards above the port of Cesme 20 years ago and have been winning awards ever since. It’s the best wine I taste on this trip.
There’s an undeniable safety element to women travelling alone, and our instincts about red flags can sometimes be confused—heightening concern where we should feel calm, or telling ourselves it’s fine when it isn’t. Maxx Royal Kemer, the Ritz Carlton, and Shangri-La Bosphorus offer not just luxury and comfort, but also a sense of safety and community. Women can sometimes feel out of place dining alone but staff throughout were charming and non judgemental, these were the perfect spaces for solo travel.
We’re all on different paths in life, but one thing likely unites us as women- the guilt and expectations we carry with us. Holidays are only one small part of this but if you can, take the plunge and try travelling alone. You deserve it OR it will do you the world of good.
