-Zak-Walton-(2)_L.jpg)
Ellie Goldstein is used to seeing her face on the cover of fashion magazines. But did you know her first-ever cover was GLAMOUR's September Issue in 2020?
Since then, the fashion model from Essex has turned her attention to major campaigns with the likes of Adidas and Victoria's Secret, as well as advocating for more disabled representation and inclusivity in the industry. Oh, and she won GLAMOUR's ‘Gamechaning Model of the Year’ in 2021. Can you tell we're big fans?
She's also written her first book, Against All Odds, about her impressive journey from being underestimated as a child to defying all society's limiting expectations – all with the support of her mother, Yvonne.
Here, she shares an extract with GLAMOUR about love, heartbreak, and relationships.
People are always so interested in other people’s love lives, aren’t they? Well, I can’t blame them. I love love, too. I can see why shows like First Dates and The Undateables are so popular, even though I don’t watch them myself. Lots of people with Down syndrome date, and some get married – for example Down’s activist Heidi Crowder, who married her husband (who also has Down syndrome) in 2020.
People who know me aren’t at all surprised to know that I date. Mum calls me a man-eater! Dating is so much fun. I’ve had loads of boyfriends, most of whom I met at school. I think probably between ten and twenty, but I can’t remember them all. The only names I remember are Jermaine, Troy, Harrison, Glen, Antony and Jack.
I started seeing my first boyfriend when I was sixteen. We met at the school for people with moderate learning difficulties (the one I didn’t like – so I guess there was an upside after all). His name was Jermaine, and he was very kind. He didn’t have Down’s, but he had some other struggles. I don’t know exactly what they were, but his learning difficulties were very mild. And he was handsome. He was a year older than me – an older man! It looked very funny when we were together, though, because I’m four foot nine and he was six foot, so there was a big height difference.
It all started in one of our classes. We should have been concentrating on the lesson, but instead, he put his hand on my hand while the teacher wasn’t looking. There was no way I could focus on the lesson after that! We carried on talking, and the teacher even told us off for chatting to each other so much. I knew I fancied him, and when he touched my hand, I knew he fancied me, too. We were flirting with each other for a bit – I’m very good at flirting. Then I decided to be direct and ask him the question: ‘Do you want to be my boyfriend?’
He said yes, and we dated for eight months. It was so much fun. He was the first person I kissed, and he kissed me a lot. He would call me after school. When February came around, he got me a very special Valentine’s Day present: a gold bangle with a few bits of silver and diamantes on it. He had asked what colour bracelet I would like a few weeks before, and he got it just right. I loved it, and I still have it in my jewellery box today.
We did all sorts of things on our dates. We went for a pub lunch, walked in the park and sometimes went to the ice cream parlour. Mum always came with us, and so did Jermaine’s mum. She was very nice, and she liked to keep an eye on him, just as my mum likes to be nearby for me. They didn’t sit at our table or walk with us, but they stayed close by to make sure everything was OK.
In the end, Jermaine dumped me to be with another girl. He was going through a difficult time with some family stuff, and it affected him quite badly. I’m not annoyed with him and don’t blame him at all. It felt like the right time for the relationship to end. When he told me, I just said, ‘OK. So long, Jermaine!’ and we went our separate ways. If I’m honest, I think I was happy, but I still really like him as a friend.
Next, I started dating Harrison. He was at the same moderate-needs school, and was my favourite of all my boyfriends. Harrison was in my drama class, and we would often flirt while we were practising for the performances. He was very funny and fun to be around. He was much shorter than Jermaine. I used to joke that he was small, even though he was still taller than me! He wore glasses, and he had Down syndrome like me.
We dated for six months, and even said that we loved each other. Sometimes we would sit together and watch each other’s videos on YouTube. He was an actor and had starred in Dr Who. It was fun to date someone who was in the media, too. He understood how great (and sometimes tiring) it could be. We had both been treated really well in our careers, but it isn’t the same for everyone with Down syndrome, which makes me feel sad. I was all right when we broke up – I try not to get too upset about these things. And I’m still proud of him for breaking down stereotypes and showing people what an incredible actor he is. And that people with visible differences deserve to be seen.
I was recently speaking to someone who was a little older than me. We met at a Christmas party and hit it off. We spoke on the phone for hours. I liked him, but he drove me a little bit up the wall. I brought out my best flirting techniques with him. I called him my Prince Charming and my Golden Delicious. My mum says I must have had his head spinning!
I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment, but several boys are texting me. Dating is fun, but it’s also fun to be free and single. I’m going to wait until I meet someone really special to date next time. I hope that, whether you’re single, dating or have a partner, you don’t settle for anyone who isn’t really special to you.
Against All Odds by Ellie Goldstein, with a foreword by Kate Piper, is available to buy now (SPCK Publishing, £16.99).
