Body shaming is relentless. It feels like a different woman in the public eye is coming forward every day to talk about the effects of trolling and being held to unrealistic beauty standards.
Last week, Bebe Rexha was given a black eye when a man at her concert threw a phone at her, claiming he thought “it would be funny.” On Friday, amid her recovery from the assault, she took to Twitter to call out trolls for commenting on her weight, saying “I know I got fat. I’m just so sick of people talking about it. NEXT!!!!!”
This isn't the first time she's asked people to stop discussing her body. On The Jennifer Hudson Show in May, Bebe Rexha opened up about her polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), telling Jennifer that “You don’t know what somebody’s going through. But I feel like, we’re in 2023. We should not be talking about people’s weight.” Adding that “I went to the doctor last year—and a lot of women actually have this and they don’t know about it—but they diagnosed me with PCOS, which is polycystic ovary syndrome,” she said. “I literally jumped, like, 30 pounds so quickly, maybe a little bit more. But we gotta just be positive and just show people love.”
Can we let this unproblematic, talented queen live?
Last year, Nicola Coughlan similarly asked fans to stop commenting on her body (either positively or negatively), writing on Instagram “If you have an opinion about my body please, please don’t share it with me. Most people are being nice and not trying to be offensive.” Explaining that “But I am just one real life human being and it’s really hard to take the weight of thousands of opinions on how you look being sent directly to you every day.”
This is just one of many times Nicola has asked people to stop, in one Twitter thread she wrote “Every time I’m asked about my body in an interview it makes me deeply uncomfortable and so sad I’m not just allowed to just talk about the job I do that I so love.” Adding that “It’s so reductive to women when we’re making great strides for diversity in the arts, but questions like that just pull us backwards.”
Jorja Smith has been subject to a barrage of abuse lately, since the video for her new single ‘Little Things’ dropped. This slew of hate has come despite her pleas. Speaking to model and activist Adwoa Aboah in 2019, for ELLE UK, the singer revealed that she no longer reads comments from her followers after receiving body-shaming messages claiming that she looks “pregnant.”
Nicola's pleas struck a cord with me. Sometimes, I imagine a life where I don't think about my body. A life where there isn't a constant chorus accompanying us, telling women we're too big, too small, too broad, too curvy, too natural, too fake, too little, too much. And much like Nicola, I simply don't want to hear any thoughts on my body.
At some point during my career, it feels like my body has become fair game to comment on. Men who don't like my opinions will take to my DMs to tell me what they think of it (how attractive I am to them, what they would do to me, what parts of my body are or aren't to their taste), sexualising me and violating my privacy. Women who like my opinions will also take to my DMs to compliment my body (more times than not it's sincere and nice, sometimes it's backhanded). From “your curves are sexy” to “did you gain weight?” and “did you lose weight?”- I've heard it all, and it all makes me feel uncomfortable.
Having a job in the public sphere, and a platform of any sort, has worn away a lot of boundaries; a few years ago I only had to contend with unwanted opinions on my appearance from family members and cat callers, now, it's amped up. For women like Bebe and Nicola, this experience is on a much, much more intense level, but most people can relate to this unwanted sense of public ownership over our bodies. And yet, the cycle continues.
Lizzo, who, maybe more than any other celebrity, has faced constant commentary on her body summed up how frustrating it all is. Taking to TikTok she said “Do you see the delusion? Do we realise that artists are not here to fit into your beauty standards? Artists are here to make art. And this body is art. And I’m going to do whatever I want with this body. I wish that comments costed y’all money, so we could see how much time we are fucking wasting on the wrong thing.”
I don't need to sit here and write a list of reasons why people's bodies shouldn't be commented on. We all know they shouldn't be. We know that it has nothing to do with what the body in question looks like, and everything to do with the individual commenting; it's about power, patriarchy and reductive beauty standards. This is exactly why celebrities have been forced to plead, to beg, because reason and basic human empathy clearly aren't enough to make people stop commenting on their bodies. What will it take people to grow up and stop this inane behaviour?
For more from GLAMOUR's contributing editor, Chloe Laws, follow her on Instagram @chloegracelaws.
